I am writing this as I sit in a Starbucks waiting for my first day of school to start. My 2 year old twins are in the day care on my campus. They only go 2 days a week but its all day. And the first few times were great (they started at the beginning of Jan to get used to it) but it has slowly gotten worse and worse.
They physically make themselves throw up all over when I drop them off. And it totally torments me to know that they are making themselves this upset. And I can not afford to be distracted during school and I will not be able to go to school without the kids in day care. My question is this...
Does it get better? Is there anything I can do to get them eased in to the idea of having fun at day care? I am sure they calm down pretty quickly after I leave but seeing them get themselves that upset makes me want to break down every time I leave. Any moms who have put their kids in day care have any thoughts?
Jan 25, '07
As a mother of twins and a former daycare teacher I think I help you ease the transition of dropping your kids off. I became the center "expert" of sorts as I could calm the most dramatic child and in a few days have painless drop offs.
First- it is VERY NORMAL and the kids do calm down quickly. You are not doing anything wrong even though they can tug at your heart and make it seem so. Almost all kids go through this at some point and many also can revert back to this with the smallest of changes in life, even a holiday!!
Talk to the teachers and see if they can let your kids watch you leave while saying bye and see you in a while. This really helps for some reason and will begin to ease the tension. The teacher should be reinforcing that mommy is going to school and will be back later. The kids are usually calm by the time mommy is out of sight. They should be saying something like "Bye mommy, we will see you soon. Have a good day mommy, we will see you later today after school" etc.
Keep the drop off routine the same every day if you can. Get into a routine- taking coat off, then hugs and kisses, and handing off to teacher while saying bye. Kids thrive with routines and know what to expect.
Don't prolong the sepeartion. Mo matter how bad you feel, don't turn back and say bye again. Waving and blowing kisses and reassuring can be done as you are leaving. I know it is very hard, but it just prolongs the situation and can get the kids more hysterical. They learn the behavior brings you back.
The teachers should be reassuring and redirecting your children as soon as you are out of sight. It may be necessary to give them a few moments but each day it will get better.
Also, make a big deal of being happy almost like a game when you leave. The teacher should also. Kids respond to this too. If they sense the mood should be happy, eventually they too will follow the routine of saying goodbye happily and really look forward to that last little hug and view of you leaving and blowing kisses.
I feel like I am missing something but that should be a great start.
Oh I don't envy you- it can be so heartwrenching! My kids are almost 20 now and I actually miss those days now!
Last edit by kukukajoo on Jan 25, '07