Classmates! - page 2

I have never had such a hard time "socially" in my life. I feel like an outsider in my nursing class, no one talks to me in theory at all, but they all seem to know each other. My clinical group is a... Read More

  1. by   Natkat
    I feel left out in my class too.

    For example, I sometimes overhear my classmates forming study groups, but no one has ever invited me to join one. The other day I was walking across campus with one of my classmates and he was telling me that a group of them was getting together for lunch after class.......they had not invited me and he didn't even invite me after telling me about it. I so would have loved to go. A while later one of our classmates called his cellphone, and from my end of it I gathered they were asking where he was and to hurry up and join them. He hung up, turned to me and said "well, see you later!" and took off. It was such a lonely feeling.

    I try not to let it bother me.....but it does. I'm very lonely and would really love to make some friends. I think the problem is that I'm older than some of my classmates' parents. I'm sure they are not that excited to hang out with someone they think of as a parent.

    Or maybe I'm just a dork. I don't know. Maybe I'm one of those annoying weirdos that is in every class or I'm just not cool enough. I have never had trouble making friends in the past, but lately it seems to be more of a problem. My classmates are really nice to me, and if they do have a low opinion of me I thank them for their kindness in not showing it. Still, it is puzzling and kind of lonely.

    Anyway, I feel your pain.
  2. by   kayel
    Quote from allthingsbright
    Just keep being friendly, don't gossip, be professional and things WILL come around. Also, wear your deodorant!
    I love it! I think I need that tacked to my fridge!!
  3. by   FNPhopeful
    Thanks everyone! I wish you guys were in my class! The whole situation just sucks. I mean take an already trying situation like nursing school and throw social anxiety into it as well and it really sucks.

    I may be part of the problem as well, Im pretty soft spoken and quiet, maybe I need to draw attention to myself, Im just afraid of looking dumb I guess.
    Anyone have a confidence pill?

    I just need a friend ! wahhhhhhhh
  4. by   firstaiddave907
    I hope it works out for you
  5. by   DanaR85
    I can relate to your situation 100%. I am attending an ADN program in a state that is 650 miles from where I grew up and where my family and most of my good friends still live. And before you ask(because everyone does), I am at this school because I transfered from a 4 year university that I began attending directly out of high school to this tech school because their nursing program had such a good reputation. So, I started out being viewed as an "outsider." Its hard when you feel like you automatically don't fit in, but sometimes those differences can make great conversation starters.

    Like you, I also tend to be shy and reserved and have a hard time in groups where I don't know anyone. One good thing about nursing school is that it has really helped me get over some of that. Now, I will never be miss out-going or anything, but it has helped me learn how to make conversation with all sorts of people. Take the way you converse with patients and apply it to how you interact with your classmates. Its hard, but it gets easier, and you already all have something HUGE in common; nursing school. If nothing else, you can talk to them about assignments, clinicals, etc.

    My class also started out very cliquey and there were times that I wondered if it would be like that the entire time. Well, now we are in our last semester(our pinning is Feb. 13th!), and it has gotten better. I think now we all know eachother very well and are comfortable around eachother, so there is less of a need for the cliques to stay together. A lot of times people stick with the people they know because it is comfortable. You may just have to give it time. It's good that you have friends outside of the nursing program-that will help a lot in keeping you balanced, esp. during those times when you feel like your life is consumed by nothing but nursing.

    Remember that you are probably not the only one in your class who feels this way. This is a new situation for everyone and by the time you get ready to graduate, you will be like one big, slighty dysfunctional, over-tired, over-caffinated, and way over-stressed family!
  6. by   Alexsys
    That is true! As you can see from this thread, most of u have been through the same thing when we attended/attending nursing school. Keep with it. You are doing this for you, not them
  7. by   caffeineRx
    -------------
    Last edit by caffeineRx on Mar 14, '10
  8. by   knittingmonster
    Quote from Natkat
    I feel left out in my class too.

    For example, I sometimes overhear my classmates forming study groups, but no one has ever invited me to join one. The other day I was walking across campus with one of my classmates and he was telling me that a group of them was getting together for lunch after class.......they had not invited me and he didn't even invite me after telling me about it. I so would have loved to go. A while later one of our classmates called his cellphone, and from my end of it I gathered they were asking where he was and to hurry up and join them. He hung up, turned to me and said "well, see you later!" and took off. It was such a lonely feeling.

    I try not to let it bother me.....but it does. I'm very lonely and would really love to make some friends. I think the problem is that I'm older than some of my classmates' parents. I'm sure they are not that excited to hang out with someone they think of as a parent.

    Or maybe I'm just a dork. I don't know. Maybe I'm one of those annoying weirdos that is in every class or I'm just not cool enough. I have never had trouble making friends in the past, but lately it seems to be more of a problem. My classmates are really nice to me, and if they do have a low opinion of me I thank them for their kindness in not showing it. Still, it is puzzling and kind of lonely.

    Anyway, I feel your pain.
    My suggestion would be to speak up if you want to be included. I would assume that if someone was telling me about getting together with a group, that it was a sort-of invitation. I would ask to crash their party or indicate that you'd like to go.

    I also wouldn't get hung up on your age. I'm 31 so there are quite a few older than me and quite a few of the young kids in the class. I personally talk with people all across the spectrum and it doesn't bother me in the least that someone is not my age.

    Our instructors will often say that if we have a question to go ahead and speak up--there are probably others in the class who are wondering the same thing. The same would apply to loneliness. If you're lonely, others are as well. Look for them and you can bond over your loneliness.
  9. by   mammac5
    Personally, I think you're better off keeping to yourself. You will likely be paired up with others for things like seminar projects, clinicals, etc. and you'll get the chance to work with others that way. But sometimes the social thing is just a little too much. Gossiping, competitiveness, backstabbing, eye-rolling...school is hard enough without that junk! By being friendly, working well with others when assigned to do so, and conducting yourself as a professional, you will avoid all the drama -- and that's a good place to be.
  10. by   caffeineRx
    -----------------
    Last edit by caffeineRx on Mar 14, '10
  11. by   Brighten
    See I would hate to feel alone. Hopefully if I get in for fall 10 it won't be like this. I know alot of people to become a nurse and not looking for friends but I would love to make some new friends for I got into a program...
  12. by   caffeineRx
    -----------
    Last edit by caffeineRx on Mar 13, '10

close