Calling all nursing students that are mothers

  1. I'm trying to make a decision and wanted to have some input from different mothers.
    My son will turn 5 in June of 2004. In the state of FL children can start grade school at that age. For some obscure reason, I think it's too early for him to start school. Hubby thinks i'm crazy!
    I don't know what I'm afraid of for him. For some reason I just think that they'll beat him up in school and I'm terrorized for him.
    He'll be attending a nice public school but I'm still worried. I had a friend that use to teach at his future school and she said it's a good school.
    I'm also worried because it will be my last year in nursing school and I wonder if i'll have the time to help with homework. Hubby will help but that always said than done. I value education alot and didn't realize that until later in life. I don't want my son to miss out just because he doesn't have the proper education that this society request. Also by the time his generation finishes high school a Masters degree will probably be the norm.

    Should I keep him back a year? and send him at 6 years old. Since his B'day is in the summer he won't be that behind.. Or should I just send him? The director of his pre-school thinks I'm crazy
    I'm so worried and confused
    Thanks to anyone who replies... Sorry it was so long had to let it out
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  2. 22 Comments

  3. by   2amigos
    Maybe you could go to the school and check it out for yourself. Talk to the teachers there. Call me old fashioned, but I wouldn't imagine (or accept) homework for a 5 or 6 yo child. But who knows. Good luck in whatever you decide.
    Cheryl Moore
  4. by   babynursewannab
    5 is pretty standard for kindergarden. You said "grade school" not Kindergarden or 1st grade.

    If it is grade K, go ahead and put him in. You're having a standard mommy fear. And, that's okay too. It means you love him. However, if you have seen signs of him not being able to hold-his-own socially yet with other children, then you may want to hold him back. But, don't mistake shy for socially withdrawn or not socially developed. Those can either not react at all to those around them...almoset oblivious...or have more reaction than is appropriate to social situations. Shy's okay. Lot's of kids are shy.

    Take a deep breath and follow the advice cheryl gave you above. Call the school --- go visit the school. You'll see all those little ones running around doing well. And, you'll get your questions answered. Remember, it's the "what if's" that kill us first!

    take care
  5. by   Angella Walker
    What is the real reason that you don't want your child in school? Are you missing the "baby" days with him. I know it is hard when your children grow up. Trust me i have 3 sons 8, 4, and 2 and it is killing me that are becoming so independant.

    In our state we even have K3 (3 yo kindergarten). I plan on putting my 2yo in there next year and am quite excited about it. It was hard for me when I put my oldest in school. I cried in the car after I dropped him off. When I picked him up after school and saw the excitement in his eyes and how he couldn't stop talking about all of the things he did that day and how nice his teacher was, I got over my sadness and encouraged him to get all that he could out of school. Now in the 3rd grade, he is still doing wonderfully. He's alot more mature. He even wants to join the b-ball team.

    How does your son feel about going to school? Is he afraid?
  6. by   ashemson
    Well, first of all, there is no homework is kindergarten! I can't think of any night EVER that my daughter brought homework in kindergarten. Maybe some schools are different. And if you are in school all day, so will your son. I also have a 5yo and 2yo, and I think it would be wonderful if they were in school same time I was, so we could have the evenings together. My kids went to preschool, and I wasn't sure if they knew all they "needed" to know for kindergarten, but you will be AMAZED at how fast they learn. My daughters are so proud when they come home and show me what they have learned. It's a whole new world for them, and for you. But it's also sooo much fun getting to watch them learn and grow. My kids' school had a couple of nights when parents and children could visit the school, meet the teachers, etc. and make us ALL feel comfortable. Call the school and ask them if they will have that. It really helped alot.
  7. by   researchrabbit
    Maturity level does matter. Sometimes boys do better if you wait until the next year (beats being "held back"). But if he's ready to go and excited and can sit still for for 10-20 minutes when he is playing or watching TV, enjoys learning, then maybe he's ready.

    I think you will feel much better about the safety aspect if you spend a day at the school -- and if you have time to volunteer (once a week, once a month, whatever, once your child starts) most teachers are overjoyed to have you in the classroom. I volunteered at both my kids' schools in kindergarten and it was very rewarding.
  8. by   agallegirl
    We live in Texas and my oldest son is 5 (born5/97), he is in kindergarten and loves it, He has learned to read too! He does have homework every night but Fridays but its not too time consuming. :-)
    Hope this helps,
    April
  9. by   nursing 101
    Hi all,
    Thanks for your response. I feel alot better now. I will go to the school early next year and try to spend a day there.
    My son is very outgoing with other children, he rarely hits. My problem is that I observe him playing and sometimes think that he lets other kids push him around.
    Overall he's a good kid in pre-school but a terror at home. Lol...
    I think I'm gonna have to get used to the idea that he's growing up.
    I feel a breath of fresh air knowing that they won't have that much homework K.
    Thanks for your help guys.
    That's why I love this site...
  10. by   memphispanda
    My daughet is in K this year. Our cutoff is september 30, her birthday is October 30. So she turned 6 in K. Anyway, she has homework every Tuesday night, but it's one simple page of writing letters or circling the correct number of objects. She does it all by herself. A couple of times she has needed to bring certain items to school the following day. I definitely wouldn't hold my child back though--especially not with a June birthday. I don't know what cutoff is there, but unless it's the end of June, I wouldn't even have been considering holding my child back. Being the oldest can cause just as many problems as being the youngest.
  11. by   Love-A-Nurse
    interacting with some of his peers may just be a good thing too. i know it is hard to "let our childen go" but sometimes we hinder if we don't.
  12. by   fourbirds4me
    My daughter is 5 and is in kindergarten. I think this is the standard age for starting school. The most "homework" that is required is reading to her... which we do anyway. I believe in some state that 5 is the compulsatory age for school attendance (here in Oklahoma it is 6 but they are still required to go to kindergarten)

    He will probably enjoy it and probably would like the chance to make friends and learn and do and play. Kindergarten is more of a developmental learning time and you can always evaluate with his progress etc... with the teacher as the year goes by.

    Don't worry mom... he will be OK.

    :-) Paula
  13. by   NurseWeasel
    I'll be contrary here. My boys are now in 7th and 12th grade, and both have summer birthdays and started school at age 5. Both are very very smart, couldn't wait to start school, and I couldn't wait for them to start. Both went to daycare from the time they were little, so it's not like 'school' was new to them.

    They've both struggled socially in school, and that has affected their grades as well. They're smart (no, really), they just don't DO the work, thus lowering the grades. Both were preemies, I dunno if that's really a factor (I suspect not)... 3 weeks and 7 weeks early. They're both on the small side, too. All of these factors combine and I can't say what the causes are, honestly.

    If I had it to do over again, I'd hold them both out as long as possible. I believe that's age 7 around here, but I also think that's a first-grade age and not a kindergarten age. The school tried to tell me they weren't 'ready' but I fought for them because they were intellectually ready. I should have listened.

    We moved and changed districts when the boys were in something like 7th and 3rd grades. We moved in the middle of the year and I definitely felt like they were struggling socially, so I took advantage of the move (new town, nobody knows 'em) and 'held them back' voluntarily. In other words I pulled them out of 7th & 3rd grades at school A and put them in 6th & 2nd grades at school B. This was done in consultation with both school districts.

    Mister and I discussed it at length with the boys, among ourselves, and with the teachers at both schools. We came to the conclusion that the boys weren't going to be harmed by it and it just might help. It did. In fact, I wish I could have held them back TWO years, but that would have been harmful to their little psyches.

    Again, this is nothing to do with their intelligence, merely their social skills. I don't know how to explain it. The other kids just seem to be so much more 'mature' than they are at the same ages. We aren't total backwoods hicks or inbred or keep our kids isolated from others or anything like that. All I can say is, based on my own personal family experience, older would have been better.

    My mom says "especially boys" need that development time. What's she know? I dunno! LOL She's not 'qualified' as anything but a grandma, but she was also on the 'hold 'em back' side of the argument back when they started kindergarten. Oh, but I just *knew* Momma (me) knew best, lol.

    Maybe that's what I get for being a teen parent! :chuckle

    Ah, the what-ifs and might-have-beens.... life goes on.
  14. by   cakarol
    My birthday is November, I just made the 5 yr old cut off by the skin of my teeth and my parents thought that I was ready to go. While mentally I was, I had a very hard time socially as I got older...middle school and high school age.
    My brother on the other hand was not ready and my parents decided to hold him back...I think it was better for him.

    Who's to say though. It's such an individualised choise. Do you think he is ready? Will he have just turned 5 or will he be in the middle (age wise)...

    I know that he is only 5 but maybe you could even talk to him about it...*shrugs*

    And I think the idea of talking to the school and even visiting is a VERY good idea...

    best of luck.

    -Claire

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