Bitter taste in my mouth... (venting)

  1. It was this exact time last I started my nursing program, bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to take the world by storm well I have exactly 71 days left until I am officially complete. I am in an accelerated program and I will be in school through the spring and summer so yes August 20 is my official date. But I don't feel like I did going into the program. In fact, I feel the complete opposite. Let me explain.

    I have come to realize that, it's not the patient care that I have issue with. I really love that part of nursing. :heartbeat Getting to know my patients and their families and being apart of their healing process. What I don't like is the more than a few sour grapes (Nurses) I've come across.:uhoh21: I don't know if I can work in an environment where it seems that alot of people are out for SELF. No one is to be trusted. And mistakes are not easily looked over.
    Don't get me wrong, I have come across a few RN's who are amicable, and willing to show you things and help you out and believe me you, I show them and tell them how much I appreciate them because they deserve praise and I want them to continue to generate their support to others who are up and coming.


    I've had nurses get upset with me for double checking an order with a M.D instead of coming to them. (which I did and when she didn't give me enough reassurance I proceeded to speak with an M.D)

    I've had nurses too busy to allow me to report off to them so I had to wait 20 min after my clinicals ended to spend 20 seconds telling them I was leaving the unit and the patient is sleeping.
    I've had nurses tell me to do things that I've not even done before and if I ask them questions like where do I find a urinalysis dipstick on a unit that I've only been on twice so that I may figure out out to test it on a machine I've never seen or used without ever being shown, they are ready to call me everything but the child of god.

    I even had a nurse that I'd been working well with all day, tell me I could give a med (benadryl) after I showed her how much the patient was supposed to receive because my instructor was gone to lunch. Then she turned around and got mad because although I administered meds for the first time ever during this particular rotation at this particular hospital, I wasn't aware that I was supposed to scan the patient and the med (because everything is done on the computer) to indicate that it was given so instead the RN scanned it 5 min after the med was given which is why I should have never even given it without my instructor in the first place. I called myself trying to help her out so she can do other things and she turns around and tells the instructor that I gave the med without scanning the pt or the med and I got written up because I wasn't supposed to pass meds without my instructor present and although the RN knew this too, she still decided to burn me.

    I could go on and on but at this point I am quite jaded and unsure that I want to go on. I feel like not only do I have to attempt to provide the best patient care possible (which is fine) I also have to stay on my toes, make no mistakes, help no one even if they ask (because this increases the chances that I'll screw up trying to do a favor) watch my back, cover my ay-es-es, trust no one and did I mention, make no mistakes? I know alot of people will disagree but this the view from my eyes and I have only just begun!
  2. 15 Comments

  3. by   rachelgeorgina
    I really get where you're coming from on this. I guess all professions and groups have their sour grapes, but nursing, in my short experience, seems to have a prominent amount of them. I'm really starting to understand what people mean when they say nursing is a profession known for eating it's young!

    I just did a weeks clinical in a major hospital. It was... an interesting mix of staff in terms of who was willing to get the students involved and who wasn't. In fact, for the better part of the week I worked with a TEN (trainee enrolled nurse) or a new grad because they seem to remember what it's like. The other RNs (and even some of the new grads) gave us dirty looks, refused to let us help out (I mean, come on, we're offering to do your dirty work - showers/sponges, obs, care plans...)

    It's sad. & I'm not sure how to make the most of my learning experience in this sort of environment. I do my best to speak up, be proactive, show enthusiasm for learning and so on. & yet, sometimes, it's not enough.
  4. by   JulesRN10
    i know exactly how you feel! i went through clinicals just a year ago feeling much the same way. i wanted more than once to drop out and do something else. then, i realized that by letting those "sour grapes" get the best of me, the system would never i continued on. now, i work in the pediatric department at a small hospital. my team is very small and close knit. as the peds dept, we are also "float pool" because our department isn't always open. i have found that there are many sour grapes, but i will not accept being treated in a manner that belittles my position--whether because i'm new, not from their department, an lpn not rn, or just because they're having a bad day. i learned very quickly to stand up for myself, because ultimately, its my license on the line. so, when i ask for help with a new procedure, when i say i can't handle that many patients, when i fall behind and need someone to bail me out, if i don't get the help i need, i use my resources...the director, the charge nurse, the hospital supervisor. i do not want to provide substandard or unsafe care because someone doesn't want to help me out. i don't want to hurt someone in the process of learning. for the most part, i have garnered much respect in the many departments i work in, and people take me seriously when i ask questions. i also enjoy paying it forward because we are a teaching facility. so, when someone asks me for help, if i don't know the correct answer, i take them to someone who does so that we can both learn it. so, overall, i feel like i am making a difference...i hope i am stopping the cycle of "nurses eating their young" and i am teaching the new wave how to do your job and help others learn theirs. i hope you can stick it out, nursing has been so rewarding to me...there is nothing like going to a job every day to do something that i have found joy in! and i get paid for it! good luck!!
  5. by   jenawade25
    I understand exactly where you are coming from. I'm there right now. This upcoming school year was supposed to be my last year of nursing school, but I failed ob/peds by 1 point. Now instead of graduating in spring 2010 I'll be graduating in spring 2011 (ob/peds along with the other nursing courses at my school are taught once a year). Ob/peds isn't taught again until spring 2010.

    It's just as you mentioned about watching your back at the clinical rotations. Some people at the clinical sites are very dedicated to their jobs, others are there for a paycheck. It's a shame because the patients suffer.

    I also don't have problems with the clinical stuff, the actual patient care, because I work as a tech. I almost want to give up and do something else. But I'm not.
  6. by   RNandRRT
    There's so much I could say about the world of nursing after being around it for 17 years. However, the best thing I could possibly ever do about it was to become a nurse so that I could present myself as a nurse in the best possible light, instead of spending so much time feeling such negativity.

    I am married to a BSN/RN plus she has a BS in Psychology and we have had many discussions about the nursing world. Her advice to me was to become one so that I could affect change from within. That's why I'm here.
  7. by   mom35
    Quote from rttobern
    There's so much I could say about the world of nursing after being around it for 17 years. However, the best thing I could possibly ever do about it was to become a nurse so that I could present myself as a nurse in the best possible light, instead of spending so much time feeling such negativity.

    I am married to a BSN/RN plus she has a BS in Psychology and we have had many discussions about the nursing world. Her advice to me was to become one so that I could affect change from within. That's why I'm here.
    I like your attitude! I am going to remember what you wrote when I start NS in August. I am trying to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for what I will encounter, so I am taking Tai Chi in July-hoping it will give me a strong mental clarity venue-did I say that correctly?! Well exhausted from Microbiology test and more to studynurse::heartbeat
  8. by   CandyGyrl
    Thanks for your stories and words of encouragement I'm glad to know that # 1 I'm not alone and #2 I'm not just being a big baby or even pessimistic. I just couldn't shake the negative feelings that were overcoming me and I didn't want it to get in the way of the bigger picture. I have taken all of those experiences and filed the hard learned lessons in my mental drawer. I guess I was just afraid that I won't have much time left as a student and soon I'll be in the real world where I no longer have my instructors to hide behind and if it's this brutal now, what will happen when I'm thrown to the wolves.

    But with that being said I'll always remember how it felt to be a student and how some of those "sour grapes" treated me and vow to NEVER EVER treat a student or anyone for that matter like that. I want to be part of the movement that involves changing the face and attitudes of nursing. That was my dream when I entered this field but with all the rotten fruit still left its not hard for that dream to slowly drift. Today is a new day, and I'm feeling a much better and with each bitter experience I'll try to turn it into a sweet lesson learned.
  9. by   studentnurse61
    I can also relate to you. I was at a college doing my last semester in the ASN program, when the clinical director was making me dispense meds in a very dark room. I have bi-focals and they are difficult enough to see through. I was 7 weeks from the end of Nursing School when my instructor gave me two VNS's, one for arguing over a drug the patient was to recieve and the other was for forgetting to get a flush from the med cart in the room. The nurse I shadowed that day had only graduated less than a year and she (RN) went into the wrong room to give an insulin shot without taking in the med book or even checking the patients name. The patient became angry and to CYA, she wrote to the Chair and wrote a nasty letter, stating that I made her nervous and confused her. Now, my clinical instructor saw the whole incident and she stuck up for the RN who made the mistake. Well now I am trying to get into another Nursing School and I have to do all of the classes over again. it sucks, but I have the desire to become the best nurse ever.
  10. by   Daytonite
    There are hundreds of thousands of nurses in the world plus you are just starting out and you are basing your opinion on the handful of nurses you have been exposed to over the last few months. Are all these nurses in the same facility too?
  11. by   studentnurse61
    I understand that most of the nurses are very helpful and want you to do well. Sometimes once in a blue moon, you will come across a nurse who is-I call it afraid of someone knowing more than them. No matter where you work or do your clinical you will find a nurse who does not take responsibility for their actions and have to blame someone else to look good. I have also did my clinicals in a hospital that the nurse is acceptional in every shape and form in showing or helping the student nurse.
  12. by   CandyGyrl

    I know I am just starting out, and NO these experiences have not been in just one facility, but when you think about it, experiences help to shape your thoughts, and ideas by replacing pre conceived "thoughts" and "ideas" with reality and thats a scary but true reality about the field I've chosen to go into no matter how you try to sugar coat it. I'm not the first to conceive these thoughts. When I said I could go on and on, I could go on and on And I've only been in my program for 13 months! But instead of complaining about the problem, I'll accept responsibility and strive to be apart of the solution. Will these experiences change the fact at the center of it all is the patient... NO. But lets face it... I no longer view the field of nursing the way they try to portray it on the Johnson and Johnson commercials.
  13. by   studentnurse61
    You are right even though I know their are nurses out their that are nasty, It still doe not change my mind about nursing. If you think about it, where ever you work you are going to run into people that are nasty and are fearful of whatever.
  14. by   Agrippa
    Be the change you want to see in the world.