Becoming a nurse is no longer an option for me?

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So I asked my mother if she could co-sign on a loan with me today because she has great credit and because I just got an e-bill in the mail yesterday saying that I still owe the school $5,234 for my tuition and fees. It was a pretty big surprise and a setback for me because I thought that my two scholarships would covered it all.

Nope, I'm in the hole. But long story short my mother told me she will absolutely not co-sign on a student loan with me because it will garnish all her wages and she doesn't want to go into college debt for me. And I have no one else to ask in my family because my grandmother has bad credit and my father is not in my life to ask him.

I don't have a job and never had one before, so I'm just freaking out now on what should I do.

My mother has always been this way( she didn't even want to fill out the fafsa for me because she didn't want them having her SSN). I tried joining NROTC a year ago when I was still in HS so they can give me a really great scholarship, but my mother wouldn't allow that either. I couldn't even get a job because my mother had let my driver's permit expire so I wasn't able to obtain a car to get to work everyday, even though I had about 3 job offers at the time.

Now I'm afraid she's trying to take away my future of becoming a nurse as well. She even suggested for me to wait until I'm 24 when I can become independent to apply for the fafsa or just go get a bachelors in early education and wait to become a nurse. But I don't want to wait.

What should I do?

(I'm sorry for my long post and me renting as well).

Jules A, MSN

8,864 Posts

Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

First I would talk to the school and see if something is amiss with your scholarship money or if they would accept payments. In either event it sounds like you need to get a job and start supporting yourself. Its a shame this has come up unexpectedly and hopefully you won't need to take a semester off but if you do that isn't the end of the world. Although not ideal there are many of us who have done this without any help.

Definitely don't let this destroy your goal to become a nurse, just find a different way to get to the finish line. Good luck.

roser13, ASN, RN

6,504 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

I'm really not sure what your question is. But your statement that you've never had a job kind of struck me.

Why have you never had a job?

Why don't you have a job now?

Why are you blaming your mother for "taking away your chances at becoming a nurse" when you've never had a job?

Why aren't you working now to save money toward your goal of becoming a nurse?

No one, not even your mom, can take away your goal. But you have to work toward your goal. No one, not even your mom, will hand it to you.

KelRN215, BSN, RN

1 Article; 7,349 Posts

Specializes in Pedi.

How old are you? If you're over 18, it's not really your mother's concern if you join ROTC. You don't need her permission.

I don't understand how YOUR driver's permit expiring is her fault, though. How did she let it expire? If it's your permit, you need to renew it or take your road test to become a licensed driver.

KAThftf

36 Posts

I never had a job because I didn't have a car and because my mom thought it would be too dangerous for me to take the public transit at night. So I had to decline all my job offers at the the time. The reason I don't have a job now is because of the same exact thing. I won't get my car until October so I'm hoping I can get a job by then.

KAThftf

36 Posts

No, I won't turn 18 until December. And I needed my mother's consent to join NROTC at that time when I was only 16.

My driver's permit expired because she didn't trust me to drive her car, so I didn't have a car to do my driver's test in. And as far as I know a permit cannot be renewed once it's expired because I had it for two 1/2 years and never used it.

Farawyn

12,646 Posts

I'm a mom. If my kid got 2 scholarships, I would definitely co sign on the 5 grand.

That's my softie side.

In reality, everything roser13 says will do perfectly, and probably serve you much better than my way.

Editorial Team / Admin

sirI, MSN, APRN, NP

17 Articles; 44,729 Posts

Specializes in Education, FP, LNC, Forensics, ED, OB.

Thread moved to Student forum.

Specializes in ICU.

You need to stop blaming your mother. You are not entitled to anything you seem to think you are. You're mother does not need to co-sign anything. Guess what happens if you default? Her credit that took her years to build is finished. Then they garnish her wages. It takes years to build good credit, and one bad decision to ruin it. Employers check credit now. Is it really fair for you to ask her to do this? No.

Welcome to life. Your mom is doing you a favor by trying to get you to stand on your own two feet. My parents did it for me and I am forever indebted to them for it. I graduated at 17, moved out on my own at 18. I was responsible once I turned 16 for paying for all of my expenses. I paid for my first car, my insurance, all of my miscellaneous such as clothes and gas.

Get your drivers license, and get a job. The expired permit falls on you. If this is your "dream", you will find a way to make it happen.

At 39, I am financially independent. I take care of me and my son. I own my car and home outright. When I was married, I owned three cars, 2 main homes, and several rentals outright. I have no debt at all. I'm having some extensive dental work done which I can thankfully pay for. I learned how to save and work at a young age.

Be thankful. The only things you are entitled to as a minor is food, clothing, and shelter. The rest is a privilege. Your schooling up until now was a right. Your mom is teaching you some excellent life lessons, and I commend her. Hopefully, I can be as strong as her with my son.

Specializes in LTC.

A) Get a job, even at McDonald's, you need an income source if you can't get grants, otherwise you need to wait to stop being a dependent student. Lots of people don't get help from parents even when they qualify for no student aid, they make it work if they want it badly enough.

B) Ask your school if you can make payments, this is a good start at not derailing your goals.

C) Find out what's wrong with your scholarship.

D) If you are over 18, this is part of being a grown up, being responsible for your own grown up life and dreams. Your mom isn't stopping you, you are.

I'm not harsh, I'm realistic. Just saying it in advance...

Purple_roses

1,763 Posts

Isn't there a section on the FAFSA where you can select that a parent refuses to give information?

caliotter3

38,333 Posts

From your description you have known your mother's attitude for quite some time, so you should have realized a long time ago that you have to learn how to paddle your own canoe. As long as you are 18 or older, your mother has no financial responsibility for you. Time to join the ranks of the employed.

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