At the end of my rope...hate nursing.

Nursing Students General Students

Published

Hey all,

I am a senior nursing student and I am in my last semester of classes and I will graduate in April. Everything has been going okay in school so far, and I am doing well, I just feel that nursing is not what I expected it to be. I have always thought of it as a very prestigious career, but know I have almost the opposite view of it.

I had an on campus job which I enjoyed, and was involved in a lot of on campus organizations (student government, started a Dean's Advising Board, taught a review class for microbiology, etc) and am still somewhat involved. In July, I got a job as a nursing aide in a nursing home, and then in August I got a call from a hospital to become a nursing assistant on an acute rehab unit. I went PRN at the nursing home, and am now working at the hospital PRN also. I HATE IT! I hate every minute of being there. I hate 12 hour shifts, I hate the staff, and I just hate the entire environment in general. As a matter of fact, I already know I do not want to work at that hospital when I graduate, because I will be moving after graduation so that I can live closer to my fiance (we have been long distance for 3.5 years). But I feel obligated to stay there until I graduate, so I have a little experience to put on my resume when I graduate. My biggest fear is that I will not find a job after I move. And just recently, the unit manager has been forcing me to work a lot of nights to cover for a person who is on sick leave until he hires 2 new part time night shift people. And I HATE working nights. I also hate working weekends. Which of course, nurses have to do.

This whole job experience just has dashed all my hopes of nursing. All of a sudden I am tired all the time, have no motivation to study for school, I cry all the time (before work, before clinical, when I drive back to campus for the week after being back "home"), and I feel like I am on the wrong career path.

Has anybody else had a similar experience? I just don't know what to do anymore :(

Do you like pharmaceuticals? Pharmaceutical companies hire people with a nursing degree. Plus, it is slightly different after school. I am waiting for approval, so I can look for my first nursing job, but my practicum was on a med-surg unit. I had a preceptor and she let me do stuff myself at times. It felt more freeing and I enjoyed my practicum because I felt like it was more what I would actually be doing once I was working as a nurse (I opted to do 12 hr shifts during practicum because I wanted to know what it would actually feel like). I definitely did not know everything, but I enjoyed it. My point is, nursing school is different from the real world. No going in in the evenings to copy info., no classes to have to go to (except continuing education and orientation), etc. Oh, and even though you are convinced you do not want to do nursing, go ahead a take NCLEX, just in case you change your mind.

Also, there's research on diseases. You can do that. That's probably one of the best things about nursing is that it's its own little world--so many specialties and options.

0 Votes
Specializes in Neuroscience.

Research would probably be a good bet. I've thought about that (if you were still talking to me!)

I do sometimes wonder if perhaps maybe actual nursing is better than clinical. After all, we can't make a move without our instructor (and with good reason!) but it's also terribly constricting and stressful competing with other students over who gets the instructor next so your patient can get a med on time, and if heaven forbid your instructor gets held up in another room, depending on how irrational they are, you may get yelled at for it in the end. Sick of the abuse and not being able to stand up for myself without fear of penalty to my grade in some fashion; I'd rather stay in bed.

And yes, the paperwork we do for school. I do understand why we do it, but I am just TIRED of it. It never ends; it distracts from me learning other things I may want to learn while I spend 12 hours flipping through NIC/NOC.

0 Votes
Specializes in Labor and Delivery.
Research would probably be a good bet. I've thought about that (if you were still talking to me!)

I do sometimes wonder if perhaps maybe actual nursing is better than clinical. After all, we can't make a move without our instructor (and with good reason!) but it's also terribly constricting and stressful competing with other students over who gets the instructor next so your patient can get a med on time, and if heaven forbid your instructor gets held up in another room, depending on how irrational they are, you may get yelled at for it in the end. Sick of the abuse and not being able to stand up for myself without fear of penalty to my grade in some fashion; I'd rather stay in bed.

And yes, the paperwork we do for school. I do understand why we do it, but I am just TIRED of it. It never ends; it distracts from me learning other things I may want to learn while I spend 12 hours flipping through NIC/NOC.

Wow your instructors sound intense! Our always like here's your med you got this right? then they walk away lol so laid back and they let us do most stuff with our nurse long as our nurse doesn't mind or isn't too busy then we ahve to wait for instructor... I think if your instructor is like that you might very well enjoy nursing after school although I don't graduate until next semester so I have no idea what the other side is like...

0 Votes

This feeling may not last forever...

When I first started back to school for my pre-reqs years ago, I had plans of going to nursing school. Then, I took a job on a med/surg floor and was like "holy crap, I don't want to do this!" for a lot of the same reasons that you are citing. The staff was mean. The culture is something that I never expected and definitely something I'd never experienced... I decided that I didn't want to be a nurse and started taking classes towards another field. A couple of years in, I was used to the culture and even had a few close friends on my unit. I started opening my eyes to different specialties and seeing what else is out there in the world of nursing. I had heart to hearts about it with RNs, NPs, and docs that I worked with and realized that nursing really IS for me - maybe not necessarily med/surg... but I love medicine and I love taking care of patients. I finished my support courses and am now in my first year of clinicals and couldn't be happier with my decision.

Moral is - don't let the first year of working at any medical facility deter you. Staff is brutal no matter where you go, a lot of nurses (and managers, for that matter!) really do "eat their young". You have to stick it out and get past that point... be tough, be smart, be ready to learn and you will earn respect and make some of the best friends and have some of the best experiences you'll ever have.

As far as the 12's and weekends - some facilities offer 8 hour shifts. If you get to a point where you don't need benefits, get your experience and take a prn position where you have minimal hour and weekend requirements and work when you want. And as others have said - you don't have to work in a hospital at all if you don't want to!

0 Votes

I don't have too much advice for you because I just got accepted in nursing for the spring. But what I do have to say is this....It might not be nursing career itself it could be the way your body is reacting to doing the night shifts. I work in a hospital in the lab doing night shifts and I too absolutely hate it! My job is easy and I have a great boss but it takes me so long to adjust back to normal life. I tell my kids that "I'm zombie mom today" because ill be so out of it. It also doesn't matter if I sleep or not. I think feeling like this can frustrate and affect you more than you realize.

0 Votes
Specializes in Neurology/ Adult Psychiatry.

Sounds like you exhausted yourself and depression is kicking in. All I can read in your post is negative with so much anger. Are you doing any physical or any other exercises to take some physical and emotional load off your shoulders? Night shifts can be tougher then day shifts, and if you are not a night person... it can put even more pressure on you. Try to evaluate what you really like and find pleasure to expend your perspectives about medical field. There are so many possibilities after you get that licence.

Wish you the best!

0 Votes

You said "hate" eight times in your original post, and "fear." Hate and fear are not good. Is there love in your life? Would your fiance help you out?

0 Votes
Specializes in OB/GYN/Neonatal/Office/Geriatric.

As difficult as Nursing is, for me, starting my actual career was so much better than nursing school. I burned out in school in my last year, too. There are many choices out there for nurses--office nursing, clinics, outpatient services, and all traditional roles as well. I hope that you are able to find your niche and are happy. Give it a chance.

0 Votes
Specializes in Orthopedics.

There has been some wonderful advice in response to your post. I hear your pain and feel it as I too was burnt out by the time I finished nursing school. In fact I didn't write my exam until one year later as I was depressed and anxious and didn't believe I could be a nurse...at least a good nurse. I had nothing to substantiate my feelings but eventually I came around to writing my exam and getting my first real nursing job. It was hard and challenging and I went through ups and downs. Eventually you get to a point where you realize "wow. I actually make a difference ...or I saved that person by recognizing they were crashing...or I am really good at doing this, but I suck at that etc." It will get....easier.

Hang in there. It will take some time to figure out where you want to work. Nursing is prestigious, don't think otherwise. There are many wonderful things to explore in the nursing and not all are hospital or LTC related. Your formal education will soon be over and then the real learning begins. Give yourself a break and don't be too hard on yourself for feeling like you do. Find the one thing you love about nursing and when you need it, take a deep breath and remember what that one thing is. You can do it. You've proved yourself by accomplishing this much already!

0 Votes

As has been said, there is a lot in nursing besides hospital or LTC. Sometimes I'll be bored and think "hey, maybe I could work on a cruise ship, or a theme park." I'll look up companies that are not health related and see if they have an on-campus clinic for employees that are staffed by RN's. Look up the list of nursing specialties on wikipedia and see if any interest you. Its pretty cool what kinds of environments you can be in while using your RN degree.

0 Votes

It sounds like you have great talent based on some of the work you mentioned you have done in school such as forming the advisory board. You also mentioned you were maybe attracted to the prestige of the profession. I sounds to me like you would be GREAT working in policy or administration. There is alot you can do in nursing, maybe you should continue with more education. Not everyone is meant to work in the hospital and you should be proud of accomplishing what you have so far.

0 Votes

Girl you should be thankful the nerver of you to even enter nursing school. I think alot of people who have obtained their rn degrees are looking for jobs, and can't find one . You should be thankful and lucky you have that . I would die to be a nurse and in the position you are. Gain some confidence, and stop complaining. Learn how to make it better. Thats what they teach you in nursing school CRITICAL THINKING RIGHT .USE IT

0 Votes
+ Add a Comment