Are you allowed to cry or not to cry?

[gemini_star, BSN, RN]

In your area, do you cry in front of the patients? Are you not allowed to cry? Because in some schools, they will not allow you to cry.

[Logos]

I have no idea- do people cry so much at your school that this has actually become a policy?

I have never cried or seen anyone cry on clinical- I did see someone cry after taking the final and one student panicked when we had to do a taping and I was told she was crying but I did not actually see her crying- so I don't know- seems like it would be a stupid policy.

[nightmare, RN]

It's not a question of not being allowed to cry,more not showing that you are crying!!If you are trying to comfort grieving relatives the last thing you want is for them to have to comfort you!It is sometimes not easy to control your emotions, it's something you have to distance yourself from in order to function well as a professional nurse.

[Jenny67]

We were told that shedding tears is appropriate, that you need to make sure to remember that you are the professional.

As far as crying in school, man, out of 8 of us 6 of us shed tears on a number of occassions.

Jenny in Maine

[atrice, BSN, RN]

It depends on the situation. I have cried w/ patients and others i have held it in until i could get alone and cry.

[future L&Dnurse]

I haven't cried in front of a patient yet, but to be honest I fully expect to at some point. I have to say that I don't think it's the schools place to "allow" or "disallow" crying any more than it's their place to permit any other emotional response. I absolutely agree that you need to be professional, and I also think that any emotional response from a nurse must stay focused on the patient (or their family, whatever the case may be) so the nurse isn't the one being comforted. But it's not up to my school whether or not I cry, it's just their job to teach me how to handle my emotions in an appropriate manner.

[locolorenzo22, BSN, RN]

I've been quite honest in my emotions...I've cried when taking care of someone who isn't expected to last the night...I've cried when I've come back in and found that the person I took care of last night died that morning....I've cried with families, with friends, with my fellow students. when you stop crying...in my opinion, you've detached and become less of the nurse you could be.....

My first clinical I took care of a cranky old man, who was in for cancer....I took him down for the needle biopsy, helped position him, set him up with lunch before I left for the day, told him to take care...My friends told me the next day he died that night. It's humbling to know you were one of the last people to take care of a person who died within 24 hrs later....JMHO.

OP...I noticed you put the Philiipines as your location...Is this something perhaps unique to the asian culture...I've noticed many asian professionals are caring, but do not show it quite as easily as the rest of us..

[Flagellum Dei]

I'm not really much of a crier.

As a general rule, if an act has benefit for the patient, or other persons for whom the nurse is caring (patient's loved ones) then it is (in my view) clearly permissible. (assuming safety and favorable risk / benefit ratio)

If the act detracts from the care, then it is equally proscribed.

Maybe this is oversimplified, but I've never been a big fan of overthinking stuff.

Pete Fitzpatrick

RN, CFRN, EMT-P

Writing from the Ninth Circle

[pickledpepperRN]

I have cried when a patient was dying. I could not leave the family or the patient alone.

The patient was DNS. Daughter was reading her mothers favorite Bible verses. Husnband and other cheildren were there too.

I wasn't sobbing, just tears.

[trepinCT]

It's not a question of not being allowed to cry,more not showing that you are crying!!If you are trying to comfort grieving relatives the last thing you want is for them to have to comfort you!It is sometimes not easy to control your emotions, it's something you have to distance yourself from in order to function well as a professional nurse.

actually we have been told that crying shows the family and patient that you care..having been on the other side of this, when I have had a loved one die, I was truly touched to see the nurse with tears..thats when I knew this was more than just a job and that the years had not hardened her..she was real, she was human and it was beautiful.

[gemini_star, BSN, RN]

I've been quite honest in my emotions...I've cried when taking care of someone who isn't expected to last the night...I've cried when I've come back in and found that the person I took care of last night died that morning....I've cried with families, with friends, with my fellow students. when you stop crying...in my opinion, you've detached and become less of the nurse you could be.....

My first clinical I took care of a cranky old man, who was in for cancer....I took him down for the needle biopsy, helped position him, set him up with lunch before I left for the day, told him to take care...My friends told me the next day he died that night. It's humbling to know you were one of the last people to take care of a person who died within 24 hrs later....JMHO.

OP...I noticed you put the Philiipines as your location...Is this something perhaps unique to the asian culture...I've noticed many asian professionals are caring, but do not show it quite as easily as the rest of us..

I read a post from another member here that their school in PI are not allowing to cry in front of the patient. My classmate kept on insisting that we should not cry. I think its alright to cry as this a comfort measure as long as you are not crying louder than the patient. lol. I agree with above comments that nursing care must be focused on the patient rather than his/her self and crying is very difficult to control.