Am I going to hate nursing

  1. I am in nursing school by the way and I am not enjoying it, a large percentage of the girls are very ******. I've never seen girls behave this bad. Even my instructor is mean and it's mainly the less physically attractive students that behave like this too. It's like they need an excuse to feel better about themselves and No I am not perfect but I am pretty attractive.
    I only talk to my friends who seem to be getting along fine with the other girls and yes I am one of the youngest. It seems as if most of the girls in the class hate me for no reason and many are blatantly rude. I grew up in a household where it was impolite to talk back so I tend to be very reserved but reservation is not helping. I also sense a feeling of resentment towards me from the instructor, just from her tone of voice and the way she raises it when she speaks to me.
    My previous instructor had once said "you can't be afraid in nursing, you have to be ballsy" she didn't say it directly to me but I have been thinking about it ever since. I think I might have to get snappy with these girls and correct them when they make inappropriate comments (which I will have to learn how to do). One time I made a nice comment about a student and she quickly said "don't call my name" and I just stayed quite but they continue to make these rude comment even when I am not talking them.
    I never imagined being a snippy nurse because I assumed they were suppose to be quiet and nice. After observing the nurses who teach at my school, I realized that this is far from the truth and many seem unhappy and overworked, which would explain why they give so much homework. I am wondering if I should make a 360 degree turn with my personally, I am usually a fun and happy person who tries to see the best in things no matter what but I am wondering if I might have to change. I really like studying nursing but I am not liking the other students and they will become my future coworkers, I have to know how to deal with this.
    Last edit by AmberDray on May 6
    •  
  2. 26 Comments

  3. by   ArtClassRN
    Yes. You will.
  4. by   AmberDray
    Quote from ArtClassRN
    Yes. You will.
    Why do you think I will hate it?
  5. by   NuGuyNurse2b
    Quote from AmberDray
    I think I might have to get snappy with these girls and correct them when they make inappropriate comments (which I will have to learn how to do). . .
    I never imagined being a snippy nurse because I assumed they were suppose to be quiet and nice.

    Quote from AmberDray
    Even my instructor is mean and it's mainly the less physically attractive students that behave like this too. It's like they need an excuse to feel better about themselves and No I am not perfect but I am pretty attractive.
    These quotes stood out to me. I'm pretty sure you need no learning on how to be snippy. I think this is another trap thread.
  6. by   AmberDray
    Quote from NuGuyNurse2b
    These quotes stood out to me. I'm pretty sure you need no learning on how to be snippy. I think this is another trap thread.
    This isn't a trap thread, I really am in this situation, I don't know if it's fear or anxiety that stops me from speaking up for myself. I agree, I do know how to be snippy but I seem to keep it bottled up all the time and when the time comes for me to let it out, I just get stuck. I don't know if it's fear but the words just won't come out. I forget everything I planned on saying and my heart starts beating really fast. I often get angry about how they treat me when I am alone but do nothing later on.
  7. by   macawake
    Quote from AmberDray
    I am in nursing school by the way and I am not enjoying it, a large percentage of the girls are very ******. I've never seen girls behave this bad. Even my instructor is mean and it's mainly the less physically attractive students that behave like this too. It's like they need an excuse to feel better about themselves and No I am not perfect but I am pretty attractive.
    Yeah.. No. I'm reasonably certain that it's not your youth and prettiness that's causing you problems. I'm beautiful and was at least semi-young when I went to nursing school and I never had a problem

    I grew up in a household where it was impolite to talk back so I tend to be very reserved but reservation is not helping.
    Generally people tend to treat you the way you allow them to treat you. It's not necessarily fair. In a perfect world it should be sufficient to be a decent, kind and polite human being and others would automatically reciprocate in kind. That's unfortunately not always the case and sometimes you simply have to stand up for yourself and explain what kind of behavior/treatment you are willing to accept, and more importantly what you won't accept.

    I never imagined being a snippy nurse because I assumed they were suppose to be quiet and nice.
    I don't know why you thought that being quiet is a common or even desirable trait in nurses. There are nurses who are introverts and there are nurses who are extroverts, but an integral part of any nurses' duties regardless of personality, is patient advocacy. You need to be able to stand up for and defend your (or the patient's) position. Being firm and having integrity is a definite plus, being snippy is however not required.

    After observing the nurses who teach at my school, I realized that this is far from the truth and many seem unhappy and overworked, which would explain why they give so much homework.
    I wouldn't presume that homework assignments are a symptom of overworked or unhappy instructors. Isn't it more likely that the class is assigned a lot of homework simply because there is a lot of material to cover before graduation?

    One time I made a nice comment about a student and she quickly said "don't call my name" and I just stayed quite but they continue to make these rude comment even when I am not talking them.
    This is a very odd exchange. If that was the actual reaction you got when saying something nice, the other person was in my opinion being an obnoxious ****. That's just rude behavior. I wouldn't give them the time of day in the future.

    I can't really answer the question whether you'll hate nursing. Nursing school is not the same as actual nursing. Actually working as a nurse is in my opinion harder than school, eventhough school definitely has its stressors.

    It concerns me a bit that you seem to find most fellow students and most (all?) your instructors, problematic. I won't argue that both bad instructors and rude or even bullying classmates don't exist, because they definitely do. But in every place I've ever experienced (which granted, isn't a statistically significant sample), they weren't the majority. If there are at least a few of your classmates that you "connect" with, my advice to you would be to focus on them and try to stay out of all "extraneous" drama.

    OP all of us here are strangers, I think that only you can decide if a nursing career is one that you want, and if it's one that suits your personality and skill set.

    Good luck!
  8. by   Wuzzie
    All it took was reading your first paragraph to figure out what the problem is.
  9. by   AmberDray
    Quote from macawake
    Yeah.. No. I'm reasonably certain that it's not your youth and prettiness that's causing you problems. I'm beautiful and was at least semi-young when I went to nursing school and I never had a problem



    Generally people tend to treat you the way you allow them to treat you. It's not necessarily fair. In a perfect world it should be sufficient to be a decent, kind and polite human being and others would automatically reciprocate in kind. That's unfortunately not always the case and sometimes you simply have to stand up for yourself and explain what kind of behavior/treatment you are willing to accept, and more importantly what you won't accept.



    I don't know why you thought that being quiet is a common or even desirable trait in nurses. There are nurses who are introverts and there are nurses who are extroverts, but an integral part of any nurses' duties regardless of personality, is patient advocacy. You need to be able to stand up for and defend your (or the patient's) position. Being firm and having integrity is a definite plus, being snippy is however not required.



    I wouldn't presume that homework assignments are a symptom of overworked or unhappy instructors. Isn't it more likely that the class is assigned a lot of homework simply because there is a lot of material to cover before graduation?



    This is a very odd exchange. If that was the actual reaction you got when saying something nice, the other person was in my opinion being an obnoxious ****. That's just rude behavior. I wouldn't give them the time of day in the future.

    I can't really answer the question whether you'll hate nursing. Nursing school is not the same as actual nursing. Actually working as a nurse is in my opinion harder than school, eventhough school definitely has its stressors.

    It concerns me a bit that you seem to find most fellow students and most (all?) your instructors, problematic. I won't argue that both bad instructors and rude or even bullying classmates don't exist, because they definitely do. But in every place I've ever experienced (which granted, isn't a statistically significant sample), they weren't the majority. If there are at least a few of your classmates that you "connect" with, my advice to you would be to focus on them and try to stay out of all "extraneous" drama.

    OP all of us here are strangers, I think that only you can decide if a nursing career is one that you want, and if it's one that suits your personality and skill set.

    Good luck!
    Thank you so much for your reply. I get upset at myself thinking about the situation which prompted me to come on here. I've been thinking about this for quite sometime and it really bothers me. I am wondering if it is worth the energy, sometimes my head hurts thinking about it. I'm wondering why am I sitting back and allowing these girls to treat me like this and I'm sure some of my classmates are wondering the same thing. I'm just hoping to God that when I do say something, I don't have diarrhea of the mouth and explode. I thought I left it behind in last semester but I was wrong. When I'm alone, I become furious about this, I haven't been this upset in a long time. One girl in particular will use her butt and bounce me away when we are all standing a line and get right in front of me and I told her I don't like that, I said "I think that is aggression and I don't like it" she laughs and then says it's a joke and continues to stand right in front of me.
    I'm in my last semester so I don't know if I should just let it go but I don't want to be remembered as the simp of the class.
  10. by   Sour Lemon
    Quote from Wuzzie
    All it took was reading your first paragraph to figure out what the problem is.
    I only had to read the title.
  11. by   Avid reader
    Amber, you are young and not to be patronizing, maybe you should live a little before becoming upset by experiences. Both you and your colleagues are new to the situation and anxieties can create silliness. Everyone is jockeying for positions and in a little while things will settle down. Also I would focus on nursing school and not what everyone else is doing and how they are behaving. Are you there to learn or make friends or monitor and correct aberrant behaviors? You will find your clique soon enough. Remember high school and all the idiocy that occurred, well this is the same, only it's young women version and will occur slightly differently at each stage of life and situations. Good luck and remain silly in the domain of the young
    Last edit by Avid reader on May 6 : Reason: Punctuation
  12. by   ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    Quote from AmberDray
    I am in nursing school by the way and I am not enjoying it, a large percentage of the girls are very ******. I've never seen girls behave this bad. Even my instructor is mean and it's mainly the less physically attractive students that behave like this too. It's like they need an excuse to feel better about themselves and No I am not perfect but I am pretty attractive.
    I only talk to my friends who seem to be getting along fine with the other girls and yes I am one of the youngest. It seems as if most of the girls in the class hate me for no reason and many are blatantly rude. I grew up in a household where it was impolite to talk back so I tend to be very reserved but reservation is not helping. I also sense a feeling of resentment towards me from the instructor, just from her tone of voice and the way she raises it when she speaks to me.
    My previous instructor had once said "you can't be afraid in nursing, you have to be ballsy" she didn't say it directly to me but I have been thinking about it ever since. I think I might have to get snappy with these girls and correct them when they make inappropriate comments (which I will have to learn how to do). One time I made a nice comment about a student and she quickly said "don't call my name" and I just stayed quite but they continue to make these rude comment even when I am not talking them.
    I never imagined being a snippy nurse because I assumed they were suppose to be quiet and nice. After observing the nurses who teach at my school, I realized that this is far from the truth and many seem unhappy and overworked, which would explain why they give so much homework. I am wondering if I should make a 360 degree turn with my personally, I am usually a fun and happy person who tries to see the best in things no matter what but I am wondering if I might have to change. I really like studying nursing but I am not liking the other students and they will become my future coworkers, I have to know how to deal with this.

    First of all if you make a 360 degree turn you do realize that would put you right back to where you're at right????


    Just reading this I can't imagine why so many people don't seem to care for you much. (that was sarcasm)

    I don't think you need to do a 360 degree turn. I think you need to do some serious self reflection instead of pinning yourself as the "young, meek, quiet, polite, shy, pretty, victim" you seem to think you are.
  13. by   Floor_Nurse
    When I was a brand new nurse I saw a patient (eating) turning red &* couldn't call out for help because he was choking. I immediately ran around behind him an thrust once in & upward (we call this the heimlich maneuver). I must have done it exactly correct, as if you're watching a training video!

    I was never thanked or rewarded. I merely did what any nurse should've done.

    If you stay in nursing with a positive attitude, you'll have good days and others will be encouraged too. If you only look for the bad things, you'll find bad things.
  14. by   macawake
    Quote from AmberDray
    Thank you so much for your reply.
    You're welcome

    I'm in my last semester so I don't know if I should just let it go but I don't want to be remembered as the simp of the class.
    How your class will remember you is in my opinion not that important. First of all, the way that you believe that your class perceives you may not even be how they actually perceive you. Other people rarely think about us as much as we might think they do, and what they think of us doesn't always correlate with our own "inner monologue". I honestly think that it's more important what you think of yourself.

    I seem to keep it bottled up all the time and when the time comes for me to let it out, I just get stuck. I don't know if it's fear but the words just won't come out. I forget everything I planned on saying and my heart starts beating really fast. I often get angry about how they treat me when I am alone but do nothing later on.
    I thought I left it behind in last semester but I was wrong. When I'm alone, I become furious about this, I haven't been this upset in a long time.
    I think you need to practise standing up for yourself. I understand that it's not easy and might be daunting at first, but I guarantee that it becomes easier with practise. You need to do this for your sake. If you have a friend or family member you trust you could perhaps practise with her/him. Just create simple scenarios where you can practise being more assertive. The goal is not to become "snippy". The world doesn't need one more of those people The goal is to learn how to be calm and firm and to stand your ground. I think it's important for your (and for everyone else's too of course) self-respect to feel respected by others.

    One girl in particular will use her butt and bounce me away when we are all standing a line and get right in front of me and I told her I don't like that, I said "I think that is aggression and I don't like it" she laughs and then says it's a joke and continues to stand right in front of me.
    Is this something this young woman does in a good-natured horse play type of way to several other people, apart from yourself? Or is she singling you out for this treatment? Her behavior could be just silly games or it could be done maliciously. It's hard for me to tell when not having witnessed it "live", but what is clear to me is that whatever her motivation is, you don't appreciate it. Therefore she ought to stop doing it. Since you have already told her you don't appreciate it, if she continues to do it, she is kind of running roughshod all over you.

    One factor worth considering is that with only this last semester remaining before you no longer have to spend time with this crowd, is it worth spending your time and energy on them? I assume that you have finals etc. coming up and that school work will keep you busy?

    If you do decide to deal with it, (if this is something she does on a recurring basis), you need to be calm and clear. An "explosion of verbal diarrhea" will likely not garner much respect. I don't know if this works for you, but if it were me I would look her calmly into her eyes and say; "Susie Hipbump, if you want to stand ahead of me in line, what you need to do is show up before I do. Since today I actually showed up before you, I will now retake my place in line". Then I'd just hold her gaze for one or two more seconds to let what I said register, and then simply take the two steps or whatever necessary, to once again move ahead of her.

    One final piece of advice. You need to let go of the notion that people target you because of your age and/or looks. You're not the first poster who has come here expressing the theory that older or less attractive (whatever that is, since it's very much in the eye of the beholder), nurses somehow resent the young and pretty ones. Not only is it not accurate on any significant scale, but it is also a surefire method to irk the heck out of some of the regular posters. It doesn't bother me personally, but I don't think there's anything to be gained by promulgating a phenomenon which is nothing more than a misconception. Another drawback with the "pretty theory" is that it makes the person uttering it sound rather full of herself. I'm assuming that's not what you were aiming for? So unless you aim to annoy peeps, it's best to discard the "pretty" theory (STAT )

    Best wishes!
    Last edit by macawake on May 6

close
Am I going to hate nursing