Quote from AmberDray
Thank you so much for your reply.
I'm in my last semester so I don't know if I should just let it go but I don't want to be remembered as the simp of the class.
How your class will remember you is in my opinion not that important. First of all, the way that you believe that your class perceives you may not even be how they actually
perceive you. Other people rarely think about us as much as we might think they do, and what they think of us doesn't always correlate with our own "inner monologue". I honestly think that it's more important what you
think of yourself.
I seem to keep it bottled up all the time and when the time comes for me to let it out, I just get stuck. I don't know if it's fear but the words just won't come out. I forget everything I planned on saying and my heart starts beating really fast. I often get angry about how they treat me when I am alone but do nothing later on.
I thought I left it behind in last semester but I was wrong. When I'm alone, I become furious about this, I haven't been this upset in a long time.
I think you need to practise standing up for yourself. I understand that it's not easy and might be daunting at first, but I guarantee that it becomes easier with practise. You need to do this for your sake. If you have a friend or family member you trust you could perhaps practise with her/him. Just create simple scenarios where you can practise being more assertive. The goal is not to become "snippy". The world doesn't need one more of those people
The goal is to learn how to be calm and firm and to stand your ground. I think it's important for your (and for everyone else's too of course) self-respect to feel respected by others.
One girl in particular will use her butt and bounce me away when we are all standing a line and get right in front of me and I told her I don't like that, I said "I think that is aggression and I don't like it" she laughs and then says it's a joke and continues to stand right in front of me.
Is this something this young woman does in a good-natured horse play type of way to several other people, apart from yourself? Or is she singling you out for this treatment? Her behavior could be just silly games or it could be done maliciously. It's hard for me to tell when not having witnessed it "live", but what is clear to me is that whatever her motivation is, you don't appreciate it. Therefore she ought to stop doing it. Since you have already told her you don't appreciate it, if she continues to do it, she is kind of running roughshod all over you.
One factor worth considering is that with only this last semester remaining before you no longer have to spend time with this crowd, is it worth spending your time and energy on them? I assume that you have finals etc. coming up and that school work will keep you busy?
If you do decide to deal with it, (if this is something she does on a recurring basis), you need to be calm and clear. An "explosion of verbal diarrhea" will likely not garner much respect. I don't know if this works for you, but if it were me I would look her calmly into her eyes and say; "Susie Hipbump, if you want to stand ahead of me in line, what you need to do is show up before
I do. Since today I actually showed up before you, I will now retake my place in line". Then I'd just hold her gaze for one or two more seconds to let what I said register, and then simply take the two steps or whatever necessary, to once again move ahead of her.
One final piece of advice. You need to let go of the notion that people target you because of your age and/or looks. You're not the first poster who has come here expressing the theory that older or less attractive (whatever that is, since it's very much in the eye of the beholder), nurses somehow resent the young and pretty ones. Not only is it not accurate on any significant scale, but it is also a surefire method to irk the heck out of some of the regular posters. It doesn't bother me personally, but I don't think there's anything to be gained by promulgating a phenomenon which is nothing more than a misconception. Another drawback with the "pretty theory" is that it makes the person uttering it sound rather full of herself. I'm assuming that's not what you were aiming for? So unless you aim to annoy peeps, it's best to discard the "pretty" theory (STAT