ADN vs BSN My daughter and I having a heated Discussion! - page 5

My daughter has taken, with the exception of A&P I&2, her prereqs. She is taking both this summer. She will be eligible to enter the ADN program this fall. I am so excited about her getting her... Read More

  1. by   loriangel14
    Yes you are right I did state that maturity is a benefit for being a nursing student. Point taken.No offense meant Mom. But also I would say that if i had known how difficult it would be after kids and a divorce I would have done this before. Having to juggle taking care of kids and worry about paying a mortgage on top of school is not easy. It doesn't really matter what path one takes to become a nurse but mostly that the path is of ones own choosing not of ones mothers choosing. It sounds like you have raised an intelligent young lady that knows what she wants. Give her your support and she can accomplish anything she wants. Best of luck with this dilemma.
  2. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    Quote from loriangel14
    Most of the opinions you state in your post seem to be yours and not your daughters. Has it ever occurred to you that this is her life and not yours? As far as I know going into debt to get your RN is quite common and if she is making decent money when she gets out she will be able to pay it off. Now is the time to do it when she is young and has no dependents. You don't mention how old your daughter is but you come accross as very controlling and unwilling to let your daughter make her own decisions. I think you should stop trying to run your daughters life.
    Gee, this seems to be rather unfairly attacking the OP, dontcha think?

    No parent is obligated to pay for a child's education. If they want to, they can. If they want to put conditions on it, they can.

    It doesn't make them bad parents. If the child doesn't like it, the child can do something different.

    She sounds like a wonderful Mom--probably a lot nicer than other perfectly good Moms might be.

    When kids learn a) to carry their own weight and b) to be grateful for what parents can and are willing to do for them, they have matured.

    I feel your post was unfair and critical. Blaming mothers is not only not in vogue, it is generally unfounded except in the most extreme cases of neglect or abuse. (This isn't that.)
  3. by   caligirl
    I guess my question is, why would you not want your daughter to get the whole college experience? And more importantly, why would discourage her from getting her bachelors?? I want my kids to aim for the highest available. I want them to go further than me which means if I get a masters I want them to get a Phd if they so desire. Even if it costs ME money (which it will and does since I have college funds for them) I guess i just want my kids to have it better than I have or had. Neither my hubby nor I had the whole dorm thing in college and we definitely want our kids to have that experience if they want it. Why not? You are only young once.. even if that means I will have to miss my kids terribly when they go out of state I will encourage them to do what they want.
  4. by   longroadahead
    18 credits total isn't all that bad. Last term (though I would never want to do this again) I took 27 credits: Microbiology, Calculus, English, Writing, Psychology, Statistics, and Chemistry. I only worked 16 hours a week (as a CNA at a nursing home - I worked one double per week) and pulled A's in all of them but Statistics (I'm sure if I had taken that course with none others I still wouldn't have managed a A because the instructor was HORRID).

    I worked my toosh off, but it is doable.

    If she wants to go the BSN route first, then let her take out the loans - as you said she is an adult. I'm 19 and I would very much prefer just doing the BSN straight away and getting done with it. Then again, I'm also getting loans to pay for my education. Just my two cents
  5. by   NOIRLINCOLN
    Quote from caligirl
    I guess my question is, why would you not want your daughter to get the whole college experience? And more importantly, why would discourage her from getting her bachelors?? I want my kids to aim for the highest available. I want them to go further than me which means if I get a masters I want them to get a Phd if they so desire. Even if it costs ME money (which it will and does since I have college funds for them) I guess i just want my kids to have it better than I have or had. Neither my hubby nor I had the whole dorm thing in college and we definitely want our kids to have that experience if they want it. Why not? You are only young once.. even if that means I will have to miss my kids terribly when they go out of state I will encourage them to do what they want.
    I want my daughter to drive a BMW to class but she is not going to. I am not discouraging her from getting her BSN. I have a BS degree. I think theory is great when one can afford to sit in the chair and listen w/o having to worry about Maslow's first rung. You mentioned that you have a resource that I don't have, a husband. I do not have that support system. We are just a couple of broke folks in America tryin' to make it. I left a lot of people behind on my dead end travel agent job of most recent who were in my similar socioeconomic group and they are not even aspiring to go to college. I am going to school on a very slight 401k fund. I have one for me, and one for my daughter. I know that the other 401k fund will completely pay for her (2) yr ADN degree and transportation. That same 401k fund will not scratch a dent in the (4) yr university's 1st semester tuition, let alone, transportation.
  6. by   NOIRLINCOLN
    Quote from longroadahead
    18 credits total isn't all that bad. Last term (though I would never want to do this again) I took 27 credits: Microbiology, Calculus, English, Writing, Psychology, Statistics, and Chemistry. I only worked 16 hours a week (as a CNA at a nursing home - I worked one double per week) and pulled A's in all of them but Statistics (I'm sure if I had taken that course with none others I still wouldn't have managed a A because the instructor was HORRID).

    I worked my toosh off, but it is doable.

    If she wants to go the BSN route first, then let her take out the loans - as you said she is an adult. I'm 19 and I would very much prefer just doing the BSN straight away and getting done with it. Then again, I'm also getting loans to pay for my education. Just my two cents
    My mother did the 1st yr of nursing school while she worked full-time at night. She was in her late 40's. She was of course a very driven student. She made (A's and B's). She had pre-existing cardiovascular problems, severe HTN. After that 1st semester she had a stroke. She is 90% recovered now, and back to work. I then realized that putting one's self under max stress is not ideal, and should be avoided if cardio problems run in a family. My daughter is really healthy, absolutely no cardio problems, but I don't want her under what I consider to be undue stress.

    I personally did many of my credits for my AS and BS under major stress and in the summer. I did the summer A&P route twice since my credits had expired. I had the luxury of re-taking A&P 1 in a (16) week session, and that time I actually remember a scapula running by me. My daughter is taking A&P 1 this summer in a (10) week session. This is a push but it really beats the (6) week flash A&P course. The learning process is so much more meaningful when the basic "How am I going to live and exist" questions are answered. I want to teach my daughter how to pace herself so that she does not burn out on college and refuse to go back until many yrs later like I did.
  7. by   NOIRLINCOLN
    Quote from 3rdShiftGuy
    Yep, you are fortunate to have such a self-motivated daughter. There are a lot of good practicle reasons why getting the ADN now is a good idea. Those are the same reasons many of us went for the ADN first.

    I know you only want the best for her good. Good luck. Let us know how it turns out.
    I was reading you post and the writing of the papers would really stop me in my tracks, but my daughter can sail right thru. We will have to stay in touch with you and get pointers on the execution of the RN to BSN.
  8. by   Tweety
    Quote from NOIRLINCOLN
    I was reading you post and the writing of the papers would really stop me in my tracks, but my daughter can sail right thru. We will have to stay in touch with you and get pointers on the execution of the RN to BSN.

    Absolutely! Besides myself, there are lots of people on this board doing the RN to BSN thing. Just post any questions about it you have when the time comes. Good luck to both of you!

    The papers are going to be the end of me. But I made an A on the first one! Woot!
  9. by   actioncat
    Well, if money is a big issue, then yes, your daughter should be investigating the two year program!
  10. by   Catys_With_Me
    Quote from NOIRLINCOLN
    I like to keep the AP classes seperate from the nursing classes. I want her to focus on assessments, care plans, and the foundations of nursing.

    She is "Mommy's Baby"

    I will be just as adament about her continuing her education beyond her ADN.
    Way...

    Too...

    Involved...
  11. by   Spidey's mom
    As I was reading this tonight it just struck me . . .has your daughter been reading along too? I think it would be good for her to read all these different responses from folks who have been there.

    In your first post you made it seem that money was not an object in this discussion. I'm a great believer in community college for general education if money is a problem.

    However, I still think the university experience is hard to beat.

    My son started out as a freshman transfer student at the university he chose instead of a sophomore - he had to live in the freshman dorm for one semester. One of his lower division classes didn't transfer. Such is the life of a college student. He is now caught up and will graduate next in a year.

    He will also have loans to pay off - but that is also life as a college student now.

    steph
  12. by   targa
    ...is amazing, because to me the root problem is clear: this is a domineering control-freak of a mother who will never let go of any aspect of her daughter's life. This won't be the first "heated" discussion. Just wait until daughter starts to seriously date; no man is ever going to be good enough.

    If daughter is smart, she will attend a university at least 300 miles from mom's residence, and she'll maintain that distance throughout life.
  13. by   Tweety
    Quote from chris_at_lucas_RN
    When kids learn a) to carry their own weight and b) to be grateful for what parents can and are willing to do for them, they have matured.
    Here is a daughter trying to assert herself, carry here own weight, but is finding that difficult due to mom making the decision on her future education for her. How is it possible for daughter to carry her own weight in this situation?

    I'm sure daughter is grateful for what the parents were are willing to do. My dad was willing to assist me to get into the Army, and I was grateful. I told him no thank you and he had the grace to accept that and let me live my own life and make my own decisions and consequently make some predictable mistakes that wasn't his job to shield me from.

    When parents let go of their adult children and allow them to make their own decisions then that is a sign of a mature parent. imo

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