"I didn't know you were gay" - page 7

twice this week, I've mentioned to acquaintences of mine that I plan to get into nursing, and the reponse has been a joking "Don't you have to be gay to do that?" sort of response. Does that... Read More

  1. by   dave1117
    Since starting nursing school I am feeling so very gay...Gayer than I have felt in years.


    Where does this stuff come from?
  2. by   janony
    gee, and i hate that just because i'm entering a "women's field" (coming from a male-dominated hard science) people assume i'm straight!!
  3. by   Jessy_RN
    Quote from ChrisA
    twice this week, I've mentioned to acquaintences of mine that I plan to get into nursing, and the reponse has been a joking "Don't you have to be gay to do that?" sort of response.

    Does that stereotype actually still exist? Sheesh. I'll have to let my girlfriend know the bad news. :chuckle
    I would probably get offended if I were a male and would not laugh at all. Being a male nurse has nothing to do with their sexuality.

    I also don't think it's fair for anyone to even begin to stereotype our gay members to any field (whether female traditional or not). Same goes for the gay females who are stereotyped for entering a predominantly male profession.

    My aunt is gay, a nurse, a wife, a hairdresser, and an auto mechanic

    This is another case of: (the public needs to be more educated).............

    Jess
  4. by   njmonsterboi80
    When I did my first degree my father was encouraging me to enter nursing for the career stability and opportunities. I was very opposed to the idea because I felt I'd be a horrible cliché being gay and a nurse. When I graduated with a BA I had a hell of a time finding a decent job and wound up substitute teaching for a year I reconsidered things.

    I'm finishing up an accelerated second degree BSN. Of course, as other posts would indicate most of the men in my class are a) straight and b) married. I think it is still more acceptable for gay men to enter nursing compared to straight men because we don't have to worry all that much about people thinking we're gay. I'm proud of who I am and while I don't care to be stereotyped, it doesn't bother me whether people think I'm straight or gay.

    When patients ask me, I typically outright lie because I'm there to care for them and don't want them to feel uncomfortable. Why the sickest patients think people are attracted to them is beyond me. I tell my patients that not all male nurses are gay and that historically men have always gone where there is money. Nowadays, the money is in nursing and surprise! Here we are.
    Last edit by njmonsterboi80 on Dec 9, '05
  5. by   ZASHAGALKA
    I couldn't be a nurse if I weren't sensitive enough to deal w/ that particular stereotype w/out getting upset. . . (among others - some at the opposite end of the spectrum: I've heard it said a time or two that male nurses just want the chance to look at naked females and call it work. They OBVIOUSLY aren't nurses. . .)

    Does that mean I'm gay?

    NO.

    But, it MIGHT mean I'm just the type of guy all those women out there say they want . . .sensitive, straight, and not living w/ my mom.

    And here I am all single w/ such a good income.

    Go figure.

    And the irony: Tweety gets alot less of those looks than me because he's wearing a ring, and I'm not. . .

    ~faith,
    Timothy.
    Last edit by ZASHAGALKA on Dec 9, '05
  6. by   dave1117
    All I can say is... Who the heck cares if you are gay or straight. And your comment .

    "I think it is still more acceptable for gay men to enter nusing compared to straight men because we don't have to worry all that much about people thinking we're gay. I'm proud of who I am and while I don't care to be stereotyped, it doesn't bother me whether people think I'm straight or gay."

    Is rediculous. It is more accepted for gay men to enter nursing? Who says? I spend a lot of time reading professional magazine, going to job fairs and as President of my chapter of SNA I go to a lot of conventions and NEVER ONCE has the conversation of "GAY MEN IN NURSING" ever come up.

    I do not care who thinks I am gay or married. I do not care that you are gay or not. Who the heck cares about your sexuality. Does anyone ever say look at that Lesbian Nurse over there. And I have never heard anyone referred to as a "Lesbain Nurse". That is a sexual preference and not a bit of anyones business.

    While Gay people are fighting for equality and recognition you go out there and make as dumb a statement as I have ever heard in my 44 years. You my friend are part of the reason why Gay people are singled out. You just did it to yourself.

    Now I think I will go kiss my wife...Or better yet get a job as a mechanic or truck driver just to prove to the world that I not gay.

    have a great weekend, Dave :wink2:
  7. by   sjb2005
    I'm sorry I couldn't read this whole thread. I must say I got a laugh out of the first page. I wonder if I am gay because I like tools and fishing. May be my husband is gay because he loves to cook. Well if we are...then we are the happiest gay couple there ever was..even if we don't meet the physical gay criteria. Hey, maybe we will have a gay 25th anniversary....since we don't go with the norm. And I were the pants in this family...so I must be gay and he doesn't...so he must be gay. And we are the happiest darn gay couple around. That is for a man and a woman.
  8. by   ZASHAGALKA
    Quote from dave1117
    All I can say is... Who the heck cares if you are gay or straight. And your comment .

    "I think it is still more acceptable for gay men to enter nusing compared to straight men because we don't have to worry all that much about people thinking we're gay. I'm proud of who I am and while I don't care to be stereotyped, it doesn't bother me whether people think I'm straight or gay."

    Is rediculous. It is more accepted for gay men to enter nursing? Who says? I spend a lot of time reading professional magazine, going to job fairs and as President of my chapter of SNA I go to a lot of conventions and NEVER ONCE has the conversation of "GAY MEN IN NURSING" ever come up.

    I do not care who thinks I am gay or married. I do not care that you are gay or not. Who the heck cares about your sexuality. Does anyone ever say look at that Lesbian Nurse over there. And I have never heard anyone referred to as a "Lesbain Nurse". That is a sexual preference and not a bit of anyones business.

    While Gay people are fighting for equality and recognition you go out there and make as dumb a statement as I have ever heard in my 44 years. You my friend are part of the reason why Gay people are singled out. You just did it to yourself.

    Now I think I will go kiss my wife...Or better yet get a job as a mechanic or truck driver just to prove to the world that I not gay.

    have a great weekend, Dave :wink2:
    I don't think it's all that ridiculous.

    I think that is probably EXACTLY why the stereotype was, if you'll excuse the pun, engendered.

    There was a time when nursing couldn't support a family. With the other 'stereotype' that a man must be the breadwinner, most men stayed out of nursing. Those that entered nursing did so for other reasons besides economics, that's for sure! Some because of yet another prevailing nursing 'stereotype' - that nurses are purely philanthropic. Some to be with their peers.

    But the times, they are a changing. Today (same as yesterday), there are lots of reasons why men - and women - would enter this profession. There are lots of reasons why men can be and are great nurses. Except now, there isn't a huge financial disincentive to pass it up.

    Nursing is a great job! I love it! But I wouldn't have become a nurse if I couldn't make a living wage from it.

    And you know what? - Those 'gay' nurses helped (with their female and straight counterparts sticking it out for truly peanuts) to pave the way for all of us in nursing today. So, I can live w/ the stereotype.

    In reality, I have tons of respect for those that treaded before us - all the stress without the financial benefits. Wow. My heroes.

    ~faith,
    Timothy.
    Last edit by ZASHAGALKA on Dec 9, '05
  9. by   Kabin
    Quote from shellyjellybelly
    I wonder if I am gay because I like tools and fishing. May be my husband is gay because he loves to cook.
    Seinfeld covered this along time ago. Your gay if you're still single and in your 30's, your thin, and you have track lighting. :wink2:
  10. by   dave1117
    ZASH..

    I agree with everything you say except the part about stereotypes. We have become a very multicultural, politically correct society that does not live by stereotypes. And I hate when people who are fighting to avoid being stereotyped single themselves out as different or special.

    Imagine if we still thought...

    that woman were not as smart as men thus could not make the same wage...

    that all minorities were bad or lacked intellegence...

    that gay people are freeks

    I could go on forever. We do not do that anymore, thank God. ANd when someone of an alternative lifestyle or who is a minority points out their own difference to the benefit of the conversation or the situation it makes me crazy. Equality can never be had unless we stop seeing the differences in each other. And when someone who is "different" points that out or brings attention to it I believe they are defeating their own cause.

    I can live with whatever stereotyoe people throw around about nurses. I am completely in touch with both my masculine and my feminine side. That X and Y cromosome have both come in handy form time to time. And I am comfortable putting on my white uniform to go to clinical, my leathers to go for a ride on my Harley or my bunker gear to run into a burning building.

    But when someone starts a conversastion with their ethnicity, race or sexual preference I feel their agenda is to tell everyone their difference and then complain that no one treats them as equals.

    Only my $0.02.

    Have a great weekend and a Happy Holiday Season, Dave :spin:
  11. by   njmonsterboi80
    dave,

    i honestly don't mind being stereotyped, people can think whatever they want. i just have have to say.. where is this planet that's multicultural, politically correct, and doesn't live by stereotypes? i live in one of the most liberal diverse parts of the nation and it just isn't the reality. let me know where it is, i'll pack my bags.

    regarding "and when someone of an alternative lifestyle or who is a minority points out their own difference to the benefit of the conversation or the situation it makes me crazy. equality can never be had unless we stop seeing the differences in each other. "

    where i come from we tend to celebrate diversity. besides, i don't think i was terribly off topic. we were talking about men and stereotypes regarding men as being gay in nursing right?

    truth be it, i've never ran into someone who thinks there is some kind of a "gay agenda". i've only heard about them on television. if we were that organized we would have had a rights movement years ago, i can barely get people organized enough for lunch. i'm not sure if that's what you meant by
    the above quote. am i on the ball with that one?

    oh, and let me clarify.. what i meant by it being more acceptable for a gay man to enter the profession is that i simply don't have the factor of people thinking i'm gay because i'm a nurse. i really don't mind.

    just my take.. i realize this is a sensitive issue for many people.

    marc




    i agree with everything you say except the part about stereotypes. we have become a very multicultural, politically correct society that does not live by stereotypes. and i hate when people who are fighting to avoid being stereotyped single themselves out as different or special.

    imagine if we still thought...

    that woman were not as smart as men thus could not make the same wage...

    that all minorities were bad or lacked intellegence...

    that gay people are freeks

    i could go on forever. we do not do that anymore, thank god. and when someone of an alternative lifestyle or who is a minority points out their own difference to the benefit of the conversation or the situation it makes me crazy. equality can never be had unless we stop seeing the differences in each other. and when someone who is "different" points that out or brings attention to it i believe they are defeating their own cause.

    i can live with whatever stereotyoe people throw around about nurses. i am completely in touch with both my masculine and my feminine side. that x and y cromosome have both come in handy form time to time. and i am comfortable putting on my white uniform to go to clinical, my leathers to go for a ride on my harley or my bunker gear to run into a burning building.

    but when someone starts a conversastion with their ethnicity, race or sexual preference i feel their agenda is to tell everyone their difference and then complain that no one treats them as equals.

    only my $0.02.

    have a great weekend and a happy holiday season, dave :spin:[/quote]
  12. by   dave1117
    Marc. dont rally your cause at my expense.

    Personally I don't know any gay male nurses. i know a few gay male hair dressers, anitique dealers and I employ a gay graphic designer. I just wish...perhaps with rose colored glasses...that we could stop arguing about our differences and agreeing on our commonalities (is that a word). With that said, I think we agree more than we disagree.

    I hope you have a great holiday season filled with health and hapiness.

    Dave :spin:

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