The whole truth and nothing but the truth..

Well, I once got trapped in the bathroom in my office which was in the middle of a large county hospital ED. It was a very old building. We tried everything to get me out of the bathroom, we tried to take the door off, everything we could. Finally, the decision was made that I was going to have to crawl out through the celling. John, the maintenance man (who was HOT) climbed over the wall into the bathroom with me and lifted me up so I could climb over. Of course, I had worn a scrub dress that day, and John was doing everything he could to push me up without looking up my dress. We were best friends after this.

Doing a linen change on a 600lb patient. When we rolled her, we found six pieces of pizza crust under her. Then she looks back over her shoulder, let's go an enormous "toot", and says to me "I've been saving that one up, just for you." That's when I knew I was meant to be a nurse.

One time a patient kept complaining about 'tingling' on her leg. So I removed the blankets and a tarantula (YES I said TARANTULA) jumped out at me. My immediate response was to scream like a girl in a horror film and proceeded to run the 100 meter dash in a time that would have put Usain Bolt (Jamaican World Record Holder) to shame. Needless to say, that got around quickly and I don't think the resident or the nurses stopped laughing for about 4 hours.

After that for almost a year people would throw fake rubber spiders at me.

I was helping a pt to use the urinal in bed. (he had a cardiac cath and couldn't move leg for 6 hrs) I had some trouble finding his member under the blankets and gown. I kinda said hmm, where are you, mostly to myself and he was like what do you mean where am I?? I stammered and said I just meant that it's hard to see, it's dark down there. Not that funny except the patient was african american. He laughed at me so hard as I continued to stammer and turn red and try to explain that I just meant the room wasn't well lit. He finally said just stop talking and kept laughing! It still makes my face red to tell anyone that story!

I have to tell you, that if a tarantula showed up under the sheets of one of my patients, i would **** my pants and run screaming out of the room. Not proud of that, but I know it for a fact to be true....

This is a little off subject since it didn't all happen at work, but it's one of the best pranks I had ever played on me. In order to get me back for a practical joke I had played on them, a couple of coworkers tied empty pop cans to the bottom of my car. They didn't expect it would turn out to be all that, but it was all they could think of at the time. What they didn't know is that I had just gotten my car back from the repair shop that day. The reason I took it to the shop: strange noises from the bottom of my car. You can imagine how upset I was when the noises were back after having spent a lot of money to have it fixed. Nedless to say, all the way home that night (3-11 shift) I planned on what I was going to tell the manager of the repair facility first thing in the morning. Morning came, I got up early, and, as planned, told the repair shop manager exactly what I thought of their work. At first he was very polite, apologized and offered to get my car up on the rack immediately. When he returned to the customer waiting area with several empty pop cans on a string, he was no longer polite. He thought I was the one trying to play a joke on him. Anyway, I hurried out of the facility, beed red and very embarrased. Later that day, I shared this experience with the crew at work and we all had a good laugh and the two culprits confessed.