What's the dumbest remark you've heard yourself make...

I'm still in nursing school for LVN and will graduate in August. I'm off to a wonderful start in the dumb comments department but I think the best/worst was last week. I've done my CNA and both semester clinicals at the same nursing home so I know the residents pretty well. Last week though they had a new woman and I was having a great day and chirped to her "How are you doing today?" she replied,"I'm doing pretty good.....but...I don't know where I am." Me, being the wonderful, empathetic, helpful "nurse-to-be" leans down, pats her arm and sweetly informs her that she is in the nursing home. She looks at me like I've lost my mind and says, "Well, dear I KNOW that, I meant I didn't know which hall I was on since they all look alike!" Talk about foot in mouth...I wanted to hide in a corner!!

I had an intubated patient who opened her eyes and looked at me. I said, "How are you feeling?" She just looked at me, watching my face turn red. Then I said, "I guess you've been better." She nodded and smiled slightly.

Wow, many I've heard...pretty much lacking common sense remarks.Not one I made myself but another nurse said...one that jumps out at me is with my own daughter from a nurse with 30+ years experience....we were taking my daughter to a medical appointment and the nurse actually said to me " so, do you just ambu her and put her back on the vent when you get home?" Now mind you.....we were going to a medical appointment that was 80 miles away..........I just looked at the nurse with that "you're joking me, right?" kind of look.........lol

Oh MY...I just remembered a funny one I said years ago...it's nothing nursing related but is still laughed about to this day by my friends....
We were at the wake of one of my best friends grandmother. So me and one of my other friends were sitting together and we are in the funeral home sitting, you know how all the chairs are set up in rows.....full room pretty much and so quiet you could hear a pin drop, so I very casually lean over and whisper in my friends ear "God it's dead in here" well she turned bright red and very quietly got up and nearly ran out the door into the ladies room...so I got up and when I got out in the lobby I could hear her hitting the wall and stomping her foot because she was laughing so hard..she had tears she laughed so hard........it was so funny. Even my friend who was the granddaughter laughs about it......this was like 15 years ago this happened....I till chuckle about it when I think of it even now.....lol

when working in a nursing home a new coworker asked where so and so was. I replied she is the one with grey hair and glasses with a sweater on.

That's OK it was the first thing a nurse looking after me in ICU said to me when I became conscious. If I hadn't a tube down my throat I would have laughed.

We had a student once who for somereason did not seem to know why her patient was in hospital. Anyhoo she asks the guy "what are you in for?" The guy replies "cancer". The student says "OMG I am sorry my mom died of that last year!" (she didn't know what type or anything). I just called her out of the room quickly. Of course the guy complained.

Trouble is afterwards she still didn't understand why the guy got so upset.

My mom was having surgery and was in the OR getting prepped & as she was being put under anesthesia she hears "Oh no, don't do that Steve." She said that was the last thing she heard before she was out. What a terrifying thing to hear as you are going under anesthesia. Who knows if that statement was regarding anything important or was just some random conversation. We laugh about it now.

In one of my clinicals in NS I had a kidney transplant patient. I am a kidney transplant patient so we were talking about our experiencesthroughout the day. At one point we are talking about her meds & she asks me what meds I take. I list off my meds & one of them is Procrit and I proceed to tell her how much that dang stuff stings during the injection. She is not on procrit and is saying how sorry she is that I have to do that to myself 3 times a week being it stings so badly. Well, I leave her room to go check on the orders her dr had just written & what do you know, he ordered procrit three times a week starting now. I had to go back in her room and say "Remember the Procrit injections I just told you about?" She says "Yeah, the ones you said hurt so badly." I say "yeah that one...Dr. Soandso just ordered it for you for 3X a week starting now." Ugh, I felt sooooooo bad. That's when I realized I couldn't work with transplant patients....I just want to spend the whole shift talking to them, comparing stories, & complaining about things that are going on. She was so super sweet about it and said I did a great job with the injection but I still felt terrible.

Long day....Pt says "I fell and hurt my leg", me "which leg did you hurt?", him, looking like I'm completely crazy "Are you kidding?" - I look down, he's and amputee, only has a left leg. That would be the one he hurt. I told him - "hey at least you know I don't think of you as handicapped!" (he'd also been my patient for 3 years THANK GOD!).
And people at school wonder why I'm never flustered in front of patients...I've made enough of a fool out of my ownself already.

I once called a date of birth in my clinic - had a couple of very confused takers

Gotta tell you I LOVE this thread, it's nice to know that other people can also fit their own feet in their mouths.