What's the dumbest remark you've heard yourself make...

One of THE dumbest things I've ever said happened a couple of years ago when I was still working med/surg. I was in a good mood as I started my 3-11 shift, making rounds and introducing myself to my patients for the evening. Just as I was about to head into this one room, the call light went on, and I swooped in with an upbeat "WassUP?"..........only to find that the patient was a middle-aged African-American man

He had the good graces to overlook it, but I mean, I NEVER talk like that---mainly because I think it sounds utterly ridiculous for someone my age to try to talk like a hip-hop artist---and the one time I use "ebonics", I have to go and do it in front of a black person.

Another time, my sister and I were walking around town, and we saw this house with a literal flock of pink plastic flamingoes stuck all over the lawn. I've always thought these 'decorations' were tres tacky, in the same category with paintings of matadors on black velvet and most Elvis memorabilia, and I got to poking fun at the display by standing on one foot and making what I thought might have been flamingo noises.

Yeah, yeah, I know, it was completely silly; but there I was, my head thrown back, cawing madly and fighting to keep my balance, enjoying the feeling of acting like a kid again when my sister elbowed me sharply in the ribs and hissed at me to shut up. I turned on her, intending to stick my tongue out at her, only to meet the eyes of the homeowner, who had come out onto the stoop to see what all the ruckus was about...........and he had one leg himself!!

Oh my goodness...I don't think I could top those!!! How funny (and embarrassing!!) Thanks for sharing!

Had a patient that worked at NC State (think RED) that went for a cardiac cath and had the blue prep still on his leg when I was assessing it. I took a look, said "Oh my goodness!" without thinking that he'd think I meant there was something wrong with the site. He laughed, though, when I told him his leg was Carolina blue

(for those that don't know *what* I'm talking about....State and Carolina are huge rivals..hehe)

I was getting an appy ready to go to the OR and took his temp. He had a fever of 102.4. I told him we'd have to do a Tylenol suppository and gave him the option of doing it himself.

"Yeah, I'd rather do it myself."

It was hour of 11 of my shift and I was exhausted. Wanting to make sure he knew how to do it, and without thinking, I asked "have you ever stuck anything up there before?"

If only life had Pause and Rewind...

Oh, your baby looks just like a mon-chee-chee (sp) (a small teddy dear toy I had as a child) to a new mother.

I did think the kid was cute, She thought I'd said the kid looked like a monkey!

HEY true rn... good to see another NC nurse on here!

A while back we had a resident in our LTCF who had had both legs amputated below the knee. He also had a speech problem, and since I didn't care for this particular resident very often I was having a very hard time understanding him. One day he was extremely agitated and I was trying to figure out why he was upset. It turned into Twenty Questions with me basically going through every thing I could think of..."Do you not feel well? Are you hungry? Do you want to go to bed?" I offered him pen and paper which he refused and so I finally told him to point at what he wanted/was upset about. He pointed at his wheelchair and said something; I thought I heard the word "feet" (looking back, it was probably "peed"), and so I asked "You want me to get footrests for your chair? Hmm yeah, why don't you have any?" He gave me this *look* and I felt two inches tall.

After spending several years on the afternoon shift, I've gotten so used to saying "Ok, good night" when I exit a room that more than once on my day off I've said "Ok, good night" to a store clerk at 10am or something...

Granville County, right?? Good to meet you!

Can't think of anything I've said right now but how many of you knock on every door before you open it.....even the galley, the utility room, the supply closet etc!!! I always feel so stupid when I knock on the door of the break room before opening it to a room full of lunching staff all laughing at me!!!! DUH!

HIPPA would be so proud of me I give EVERYONE and EVERYTHING full privacy!

I once had a pt who was a frequent flyer who was upset with his meal. I offered him a tuna sandwhich, which he refused. I offered him a turkey sandwhich, which he refused. "All I have left to offer you is a ham sandwhich." The pt looked at me like I offered him dog food. I said "What did I do to upset you?" The pt responded "I am Muslim." "I don't eat pork." This was my first and only time caring for him. I had no idea he was Muslim or I would not have offered him a ham sandwhich. I felt like a huge retard. I did say to him "I had no idea you were Muslim", and quickly appologized.

Last night I was at work and one of my co workers asked his orientee a question, and without thinking I answered him. I covered by saying "I knew you knew the answer to the question."

I was at work one night and was so incredibly busy I couldn't think of the word doctor and needed to get a doc's attention. I started saying "Sir, Sir." The secretary laughed at me so hard. The doc took it well. I felt so stupid. Haven't done that again.