You've got a what up/in your what???

[hoolahan]

OK, Mario's thread about cheese, and Zhakrin's coke bottle post made me think up this one for fun. We've all had them, or heard about them. What is the most interesting thing you have had a person insert into an orifice, on pupose (forget the moldy baloney sandwiches between fat folds.)

I would imagine ER and OR/PACU nurses deal with this the most. My ER nurse friend told me this one. On survelience camera, they saw a woman come in with a large blanket wrapped wrapped around herself. They were naturally curious, when they got her inside, she opened the blanket to show her nipple caught between her boyfriend's teeth!

One anesthesilogist said on his ER rotation in med school, they had a guy come in with the John Travolta spandex flare pants. They were so tight, they could not get them off, and he had arrested. They cut off the pants and found a huge salami taped to his leg.

My only personal PACU story is having to go in on call for a guy who got hamburger tongs stuck up his butt. Another PACU nurse said he favorite was a jean nate bottle.

So, share your story....

[shipslitehse]

Just getting started reading and roflmao but....a psyche professor of mine told a story to the class of having one of her pt's brought to the ED and she was called in evidently..........he had a vibratior stuck in his orifice, and get this.....................they couldn't get it to turn off!!!!!!!it was still going when she got to the hospital.

[SmilingBluEyes]

father in law works at a large metropolitan hospital in the twin cities, MN....

He once said lady came in with a "problem" wanting to see a dr. right away...would not tell the clerks what was wrong...later on, he learned why....

turned out she had a lemon stuck up her lady parts...

from then on, she was known as "sour puss"

true story. my fil laughed to tears telling me this.

Waaaahhhh---i never get to see these weird things in my lil community hospital, working ob.

i am glad to work a "boring" job....

great thread.

[mattsmom81]

Glad to see this thread revived. Always good for a chuckle.

"Sourpuss, " eh? Luv it Deb!!!:roll

[RN~in~CT]

I admited a guy with a diagnosis of "penile trauma."

Turns out he was vacuuming, and his member "accidentally" slipped into the vacuum nozzle!

:roll

[Liddle Noodnik]

Originally posted by RN~in~CT

I admited a guy with a diagnosis of "penile trauma."

Turns out he was vacuuming, and his member "accidentally" slipped into the vacuum nozzle!

:roll

They say that the majority of "accidents" occur at home ...

[lateblumer]

Mine isn't about work but its still funny.

My 3 year old was playing with a toy. All of a sudden she sprang up and said "i have a button up my nose". Well we all looked, even got a flashlight out, had her open up her mouth, the whole nine yards, yet we could find no button. Since no one could find a button and she was having NO difficulty breathing we let it go.

Over the next couple of weeks, she would , just out of the blue, say, "ive got a button up my nose". We would all look, find nothing up there, and let it go.

One morning she said it, so I called her ped. He said bring her in. So I did.

After doing a thorough eye, ears, nose and throat check-up, he found nothing. Not wanting to leave anything out, he sent us for an x-ray. Now, we go over to the hospital to have an x-ray, and as we are in the waiting room , my child starts to pick her nose. Being embarassed as moms can get, I handed her a tissue. She promptly planted a booger into it and said, "I have a button in my nose."

[sassyr]

When working at the hospital we had a man one time who had a shampoo bottle up his butt. Said he slipped in the shower! Uh huh! sassyr

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Kids do put some of the damnedest things up their noses. My younger daughter (now 18) AND my younger son (now 12) both had a fixation on this when they were little........Melanie kept stuffing bits of paper up her nose, and once she even managed to push a dime in there! Thank God for pepper, all I had to do was make her sniff the top of the shaker and KA-BOOM, out flew the foreign object.

Ben was another story---same obsession, different objects, including pieces of cat food, pebbles, and even part of a jade leaf (that was so far up there I had to remove it with forceps and a flashlight!) I never did get why those two kids did that, it must've been terribly uncomfortable, and they were always glad when I got whatever they'd put up there OUT......but they'd go through the whole performance all over again a couple of days later if I didn't watch them every waking minute. I never did have to take either one to the doctor to have things extracted, as a friend of mine did when her three-year-old bit the eraser off a pencil and stuck it up the BABY'S nose........but I was sure happy when they stopped doing that stuff!!

[Dixen81]

Originally posted by mjlrn97

Thank God for pepper, all I had to do was make her sniff the top of the shaker and KA-BOOM, out flew the foreign object.

:chuckle :roll :chuckle

[askater11]

A gentleman in his 70's with a thermometer stuck up his member.

[Browneyedgirl]

One well-known businessman who was caught by his wife with his male lover......Wife quietly slipped out without the men being none the wiser....

Wife arranged for a *kinky lunch date*** at a local motel. Tied hubby up. Plugged in the curling iron...set to HOT! and inserted and left the room...

Man had a colostomy bag for the rest of his life and wife got 1/2 of EVERYTHING else.

Married couple enters ER. husband bent over in pain. Complaining of obstruction. Xrays reveal a whole granny smith apple. :-(

Lesbian couple enter ER during Fair week. Seems they bought a candied apple and the stick came out and the apple stayed IN!

[Gldngrl]

Regarding Post #87: See http://www.snopes.com/risque/revenge/curliron.htm

It's an urban legend in different variations. MMB