Your dying wishes?

  1. I've seen soooo many posts on LTC facilities, most being not so great. And my personal exp. has been even worse. I was curious: Knowing what you know as a nurse/nursing student....Would you want to live in a nursing home if you could no longer care for yourself?

    What other dying wishes do you have r/t your experience as a nurse/nursing student?
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  2. 30 Comments

  3. by   menolly_33
    NO WAY IN H**L. We allow are pets a more dignified death than we allow our elderly. There are a lot's of things much worse than death - I've seen too many of them. I have an advance directive in my purse at all times. I have discussed my wishes with my family, and am aware of theirs. Just because we have the ability to prolong someones life doesn't mean we should - IMHO.
    I feel a person should have the ultimate say over end-of-life issues, unfortunately this is not always so. I work in the ER and it doesn't matter what a piece of paper says, if the family wants something done, the doctor will attempt life saving measures, even with a signed DNR in hand. After all, the family is the one left behind to sue. Gotta CYA in out litigation nation.
  4. by   VivaLasViejas
    During a recent discussion between several of us nurses in the break room, we were all talking about when we thought it would be a good time to die. I said: "About five seconds before my feet cross the nursing home threshold". I'm not kidding. If I ever get to the point where I can't take care of my own personal needs, where I have to be fed and changed and put to bed and turned every 2 hours so I don't get bedsores, I am SO outta here.......There are things far worse than death, IMO, and that is one of them. :stone
  5. by   nurse4theplanet
    I do my fair share of smoking, drinking, and eating unhealthy foods in my spare time. I have one particular friend who is a total health nut, that teases me about digging myself an early grave....I usually say its better than having to let someone wipe my butt when i'm 100! Who wants to live that long?:chuckle

    But seriously, there are some great LTC nurses/facilities out there but they are few and far between. I have seen people jerked around and all bruised up, not fed, left to lay in urine and feces. On one hand, I don't want to be a burden to my family, but then again, I want to live and die with dignity.

    I think I will specify that I do NOT want to go into a nursing home and set up a fund to have a private nurse. I would do the same for my parents when they become too much for me to handle alone.
  6. by   TheCommuter
    I don't want to end up in a nursing home. If I happen to live to reach very old age, I'd rather be taken care of by a private duty nurse.

    1. I'd like to sleep soundly for 8 hours without being repositioned continually.

    2. I'd still like to eat tasty meals (not the food service stuff that is served in most LTC facilities).

    3. I honestly don't want to be around other clients with altered mental status and agitated behavior in common areas.

    4. This is a shame, but the urine and feces smell in some LTC facilities is unbearable.

    5. I'd like someone to talk to occasionally. The healthcare team is often too busy to engage in chatter.

    6. I'd like to have more control over my life, and a nursing home wouldn't allow me that freedom.

    7. LTC is expensive, so don't waste the substandard care on me.

    8. If I am comatose, do everyone a favor and pull the plug ASAP!

    9. Do not rescuscitate me.

    10. I have a low tolerance for pain, so keep me medicated ATC.
  7. by   gizelda196
    Quote from TheCommuter
    I don't want to end up in a nursing home. If I happen to live to reach very old age, I'd rather be taken care of by a private duty nurse.

    1. I'd like to sleep soundly for 8 hours without being repositioned continually.

    2. I'd still like to eat tasty meals (not the food service stuff that is served in most LTC facilities).

    3. I honestly don't want to be around other clients with altered mental status and agitated behavior in common areas.

    4. This is a shame, but the urine and feces smell in some LTC facilities is unbearable.

    5. I'd like someone to talk to occasionally. The healthcare team is often too busy to engage in chatter.

    6. I'd like to have more control over my life, and a nursing home wouldn't allow me that freedom.

    7. LTC is expensive, so don't waste the substandard care on me.

    8. If I am comatose, do everyone a favor and pull the plug ASAP!

    9. Do not rescuscitate me.

    10. I have a low tolerance for pain, so keep me medicated ATC.
    ditto plus NO FEEDING TUBES
  8. by   c.wicks
    My last request.....

    To go sky-diving......Free fall.......at 10,000 feet.......over the ocean.


    .................................................. ...........................................
    The soul afraid of dying, never learns to live.
  9. by   hbncns35
    This thread reminded me of an experience I had in June of this year. I was taking care of a 92 year old woman answering questions from two of her family members - a nephew and a daughter in law. They were asking me how she was doing and I said alot better today. I also told them that she was responding to me more frequently and sometimes she could even tell me what she wanted. She had pneumonia with thick secretions and we had her on a prb at 100%. I asked the family where she might go from here(hosp) and they said they thought she would go back to the nursing home. Then the daughter mentioned that her lips were dry so I showed her how we clean her mouth and I took the swab and started swabbing and cleaning her mouth. Well she started coughing so I went to get the yankaur to suction her and as I began she took this big gulp, then she continued coughing and then the coughing turned into where she was gasping for air. I could not get this secretion out-She swallowed it. She started turning blue and I as a PCT ran out of the room where the nurse was out in the hall. I told her she had better get in there because she was turning blue. The nurse said "Well I have her breathing treatment" I said no she's choking! We ran out of the room and started working on her. She was still blue when we again tried to suction out the large secretion. She fell back on the pillow and the nurse told me to get respiratory. I went out in the hall and called the code. As I went back into the room, (the family left) there were three of us calling out her name and trying to get a response. More people came - supervisors, nurses, doctors etc. I did the blood pressure, we had a monitor going, etc. Well she was Code II -limited meds, no compressions. That was that. No pulse, no bp, no tracings, We let her go.
    Reflecting back - I don't think she wanted to go back to that nursing home and she started choking right after I had been talking to the family about it. She waited until her family was there before she passed on. They were so grateful for our care. I was a little surprised because I had just been talking to them about how well she was doing and five minutes later she died!
    I was glad I was there for the family but a little helpless. This is what she wanted and we gave it to her. By respecting her wishes we did help her.
    You never forget your codes- HB
  10. by   nurse4theplanet
    It breaks my heart to see a family that has 90+ grandaddy in the hospital with double above the knee amputations, a colostomy, a catheter, a feeding tube, aphasic, and has no idea where he is at....and then they want him to be a full code. This particular pt type I have seen three times...one poor woman's ribs cracked while they were performing compressions, and the family threatened to sue! And then the family falls out in the floor crying and hollaring like the death was unexpected. I am a compassionate nurse, but somehow it seems like the families only think of their own needs...not the patient's.:angryfire
  11. by   Sis123
    Commuter has a good plan. I think I'll have the same.
  12. by   TheCommuter
    Quote from gizelda
    ditto plus NO FEEDING TUBES
    What a great idea!

    That's my official #11.
  13. by   TheCommuter
    Quote from Sis123
    Commuter has a good plan. I think I'll have the same.
    LOL! Thanks!
  14. by   Spidey's mom
    The LTC attached to our hospital takes very good care of the residents and there is rarely any smell in the hallway.

    However, I still would not want to end up having someone take care of my intimate needs. Is that selfish? If the only deficit I had was my physical inablility to care for myself, would it be selfish to make sure my death came soon and I deprived my family of my presence? I dunno . . . hard to think about.

    You can sign my up for most of Commuter's ideas . . ..

    steph

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