You know you've been a nurse too long when...

Nurses Humor

Published

You know you've been a nurse too long when you can't enjoy a movie because of the half minute of CPR compressions only being given at about 50 per minute, with bent arms and there's a flat line on the monitor DURING the compressions. Oh, and it's the obstetrician doing the compressions.

you-know-youve-been-a-nurse-too-long-when.jpg

Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

I have personally given my dad the scary nurse lecture more times than I can count about his BP and DM meds. Still non compliant.

When grandma passes out in Meijer and you have to convince EMS to take her to the ER. Never a dull moment around me.

When your aunt says "I'm glad your a nurse. My son can stay with you after his surgery when I move." She is moving out of state. He has to stay for rehab. Seriously even at home I wonder what a day off is like anymore LOL.

Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.
How about when you avoid all ill, frail, decrepit looking person in public, for fear of something happening that will require your help?

Or when you are unloading your groceries at the checkout line, and notice that your package of meat has leaked. I automatically "look" for gloves before touching the bloody liquid!

I always grab a produce bag and stick my hand in it before picking up any meat pkgs! I don't want that stuff on me! Esp poultry w/its Salmonella.

Specializes in Transitional Nursing.
You go to change your nieces diaper for the first time, and you wonder where the gloves are...

I just did this with my nephew!! haha. too funny!!

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

You scream at the TV "Pull the d@mned side rails up!" every time a hospital scene is played.

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

When heading to bed at 9am, you say, "Don't wake me up unless...." and one of the kids finishes, "...the house is on fire- visible flames, someone fills the four-cup measuring cup with blood, Dad's stopped talking long enough to turn blue, or Helio Castroneves comes to the door! Good night, Mom."

Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

You sit straight up and shriek "NOT BOTH SIDES AT THE SAME TIME!" during the scene in Independence Day when they are checking to see if the scientist (Data!) is still alive by feeling his carotids.

My husband about fell over laughing, fortunately we were at home, not in a theater.

Specializes in Rehab, Med-surg, Neuroscience.

When you wake up standing at the side of your bed because you heard a call light bell in your sleep.

When you cuddle with your husband, you press on the veins in his arms and consider where to put an IV, until he says "Cut that out!"

Specializes in Gerontology.

When you tell your Type1 diabetic 20 year old nephew to clean that scrape on his foot and apply polysporin until healed!

Specializes in OB (with a history of cardiac).

When I watch a movie or tv show in which birth is given and my immediate statement is "Congratulations on the birth of your squeaky clean 4 month old! By the way, that birth was rather precipitous- perhaps a drug screen for mom is in order and the baby should be bagged?"

Or just being with friends and family and when someone mentions an ailment, my ears perk up and I go into triage/assessment mode and present them with a care plan they didn't ask for.

When you pray the two cars in front of you don't get into an accident because you're too tired to stop and play Good Samaritan.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Emergency, CEN.

This thread is so full of win I can't press "like" enough!

Specializes in Gerontology, Case Management, Pediatrics.

Did anyone yell at House about compassion and treating people with respect. My husband would laugh and say "you know you're talking to the TV, right?"

+ Add a Comment