You know your pt is a jerk if........ - page 2

You know your pt is a jerk if: 1. they demand the catheter out so they can have sex with their girlfriend. 2. they cuss you and everyone in the room out regardless of the situation. 3. they are... Read More

  1. by   northshore08
    Quote from mskate
    - you have the fortune of taking care of the hospitals own head of anesthesia... who feels nurses are below him.
    he will
    - tell you how many wash cloths to bath him with
    - request how long you make the water run before wetting them and times you.
    - has his own buddies in the hospital sneak more pain meds to him if the doc in charge of him has cut him off - and no - he doesnt tell you, so you have no way of knowing what meds, how much or when he has gotten them.
    - he changes his OWN pca when you are at lunch.
    OMG time for the unit manager to take care of this guy!! Where is his admitting doc? Sounds like he admitted himself. Time to call the pharmacy re: narcotic diversion!! (or maybe an anonymous report to the DEA, huh?) BTW, who gave him the key to the PCA pump?
  2. by   pagandeva2000
    I had a patient who had a Dx of syphillis and I had to give him the huge shot of Penicillin G. He starts waving his weenie and saying "I can handle that shot, I've done this plenty of times" and then asked if I were single and for my phone number. I really wanted to stomp Mr. Dick Dastardly that afternoon...
  3. by   Diary/Dairy
    The Dicky Stomp....

    Wanted to do that too before, but refrained!
  4. by   shelly304
    While I am removing the guys shoes(stinky, stinky,stinky guy) so the doc can take a look at the wound he caused himself by shooting an arrow into his big toe, he says,"While you are down there wanna do me a favor".

    I reply, "Considering the fact your feet have not been washed since 1988, I doubt you still have a penis".

    He asked the doc for a "nice" nurse. The doc told him there were not any!
  5. by   mskate
    Quote from northshore08
    OMG time for the unit manager to take care of this guy!! Where is his admitting doc? Sounds like he admitted himself. Time to call the pharmacy re: narcotic diversion!! (or maybe an anonymous report to the DEA, huh?) BTW, who gave him the key to the PCA pump?
    everyone was way aware and everyone basically said "just shut up, nod and smile - your shift if almost over" and it was a fight as to who had to take care of him.

    his buddies from the anesthesia department supplied him with each whim his ordered md would not. total nightmare.

    this is a guy that took up an icu bed when it was needed - who was a med surg status because they wanted him to have a big private room with a "more available" nurse to answer his whims.

    .... reasons why i want to get out of acute care #723823823
  6. by   rnmomtobe2010
    Quote from moongirl
    ...He looks at you and says (in a Herb Tarleck voice) "weeeellllllll.. if I had know I would have gotten someone so pretty to come help me, I woulda rang that bell a looooooong time ago..."
    weellll,if I had known you were such a gross out , I would have sent someone else to get you off the commode.
    :chuckle OMG!!!!
  7. by   rnmomtobe2010
    please stop....I am making myself sick laughing,....
  8. by   allisongoffRN
    Definition of a jerk

    1) One who behaves rudely

    2) The third derivative in differential calculus
    indicating small changes in acceleration

    But seriously, this is a professional forum! Can we leave the
    penis part out!
  9. by   femsmahus
    Well, I have yet to experience any penis issues...yet. And I am thankful for that. This week:

    1. Walking down hall to go on a break. Call light goes off. I go in rm. Pt. says "I ****** myself and it's your fault." REALLY? "Yeah... you didn't get here fast enough!" Whatever!!!!

    2. Pt. up adlib. Pt sitting in shower, pulls emergency call cord. Pt. starts screaming...and I mean screaming..."HELP! HELP!" I go running in there as fast as lightening with visions of law suit swirling through my head. I pull the curtain and she looks up at me..."I dropped my soap!"

    3. Pt. had gallbladder removed. Was up adlib at this point. I went into rm. to check on him and he informed me that he crapped in his bed because he didn't feel like getting up. And then as I was trying to clean him up (he didn't feel like that either) he told me he was going to crap again. I told him to stop immediately so that he could WALK to the bathroom and he told me that it was just easier for him to crap in his bed and them he proceded to literally crap all over my hand, arm, bed, etc. Nice!
  10. by   Spatialized
    2 hours after nearly being coded for respiratory distress, and swearing to you that he isn't going out to smoke again...out he walks to smoke. Ungrateful jerk.

    Tom
  11. by   squeakykitty
    Quote from pagandeva2000
    I had a patient who had a Dx of syphillis and I had to give him the huge shot of Penicillin G. He starts waving his weenie and saying "I can handle that shot, I've done this plenty of times" and then asked if I were single and for my phone number. I really wanted to stomp Mr. Dick Dastardly that afternoon...
    I know a good place to stick that needle..............
  12. by   JustinTJ
    I totally believe these stories about nasty men coming onto you in the hospital, but it's shocking to hear some of the situations in which it happens.

    Seriously, at this point I am amazed, some people have no shame.
  13. by   GadgetRN71
    Quote from allisongoffRN
    Definition of a jerk

    1) One who behaves rudely

    2) The third derivative in differential calculus
    indicating small changes in acceleration

    But seriously, this is a professional forum! Can we leave the
    penis part out!
    I'll leave it out when the male patients stop "leaving it out".

    And, nothing wrong with the word "penis". I think the fact that most people here haven't used some of the other less polite words is very professional.

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