* You think CPR stands for; "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
* Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
* Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
* You ski uphill.
* You've worn out your third pair of nursing shoes
* The doctor needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
* Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
* Cocaine is a downer.
* You answer call lights before the patient's push them.