You are part of the problem with healthcare today if...

  1. If, in your "healthcare job" you never touch anything but paper, or smell anything but coffee, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    If your job description DOESN'T have an annual requirement to be on your knees, geting freaky with Resusci Annie, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    If your hospital department is closed on Christmas Day, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    If the "alphabet soup" after your name on your employee badge is LONGER than your actual name, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    If you have an assigned parking spot for your 9-5 job, while the 24/7 clinical staff walks from their assigned parking 1/2 mile away, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    If, from your primary work area, you couldn't see an actual patient with binoculars, but earn twice as much as those who do, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    If there is an "RN" after your name, and you NEVER, EVER wear anything but business clothes to work, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    If "every other weekend" is NOT in your job description, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    If you've ever written a memo that had the words "mandatory in-service", "self-education module" and "during employee's spare time" and distributed it via company-wide email, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    If the trunk of your car is full of pens, post-it pads, pen holders (and other trinkets with a brand name drug on them) that you hand out by the thousands so you can bribe your way into spending 5 minutes shmoozing a physician, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    If you have NO IDEA why the blue thermometer tastes better than the red one, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!


    -- 360Joules
    (with kudos to Jeff Foxworthy)
    Last edit by rn/writer on Mar 15, '10 : Reason: Substituted less offensive expression.
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  2. 152 Comments

  3. by   cakegirl
    Well said. LOL! This made me smile for sure.
  4. by   aura_of_laura
    If you are a short-sighted, education-phobic ninny who thinks that floor nursing is the ONLY thing that contributes to the health of individuals and communities, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    ~ infection control nurse who spends most of her time working on research and tracking data, in business casual, thank you very much
  5. by   rph3664
    Quote from 360joules
    If the trunk of your car is full of pens, post-it pads, pen holders (and other trinkets with a brand name drug on them) that you hand out by the thousands so you can bribe your way into spending 5 minutes (essentially) fellating a physician, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!
    This sort of thing came to a stop in December 2008, although drug reps are still allowed to buy meals for us.
  6. by   HealthShepherd
    If you believe that anyone whose role differs from yours is the enemy, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    ~bedside nurse with some sense of perspective, thank you very much
  7. by   PorterM
    While probably written in jest this type of attitude is encountered on a nearly daily basis. Most of us in our 9-5 (7-7 five or six days a week) dressed in our pressed business suits spent a some years in ICUS/Floors/EDs before this.

    We may not be direct patient care anymore. I may not get down and dirty every day but, I am doing my damndest to make sure this department runs safely efficiently and doesn't pile on more stupid paperwork and forms that take my surgeons/residents/nurses away from the patients.
  8. by   luvRNs
    If you spent 41 years working full-time in every imaginable capacity to better patient care, you are part of the solution
    If you came in to work on countless holidays while others took the day off, you are part of the solution
    If you always put patient safety first you are part of the solution
    If you took risks to improve the status quo even when it was scary you are part of the solution
    If you got yelled at by a physician while advocating for a patient or for other staff you are part of the solution
    If you ensured new nurses got the education and support they needed you are part of the solution
    If you spent many unpaid hours reasearching best practices to promote better care you are part of the solution
    If continuing education was not a chore but an expected way of life you are part of the solution
    If you promote a healthy work environment by example you are part of the solution
    There's too many more of these to write, but it's a great thread!! come on folks, this is one to contribute to
  9. by   360joules
    We have crossed a threshold where there are more people making rules, and monitoring compliance, than are actually treating patients.

    The primary product of hospitals has become "paper", not medical care.

    With my apologies to the "business casual" infection control nurse above (who does not recognize satire for what it is), healthcare is in a state of transition right now.

    All we hear is "OMG THE GOVERNMENT IS GOING TO "TAKE OVER HEALTHCARE"!!!"

    Anyone who thinks government doesn't ALREADY run healthcare has never dealt with the myriad agencies that a hospital must interact with, and the rules they must comply with, to operate. The bureaucratic intertia in hospitals these days is stunning when compared to other "technical" and "mission critical" industries.

    The only "FREE MARKET" in this system is how many armies of non-clinical people get fed before the first dollar reaches the hand of a direct patient care provider.

    Yes, there are valuable non-clinical functions, and ANY organization needs administrative and financial structure to be viable, but my satire reflects on how far out of whack these ratios have become.

    If nurses spent more time laughing instead of cutting each other's throats, this would be a much more attractive profession
  10. by   kathy313
    "If you have NO IDEA why the blue thermometer tastes better than the red one, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
  11. by   xoemmylouox
    Quote from 360joules
    If you have NO IDEA why the blue thermometer tastes better than the red one, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

    YUMMY!!!!!
  12. by   Otessa
    Guess I'm the culprit then......
  13. by   360joules
    Not to be insulting, I'm sure the floor nurses are not surfing the internet at 1:00pm on a Monday.

    It is satire, not a personal attack. Chill.
  14. by   Otessa
    Quote from 360joules
    Not to be insulting, I'm sure the floor nurses are not surfing the internet at 1:00pm on a Monday.

    It is satire, not a personal attack. Chill.
    on my lunch break....

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