Wrote up for being negative?!?! - page 3

Has anyone here ever heard of people getting wrote up at work for "being negative"? There's a nurse at work that was wrote up for being negative at work. I had never heard of such a thing,... Read More

  1. by   weirdRN
    I had a discussion with my significant other several days ago. Some background first. He is investigating Buddhism (sp? sorry Buddha!). He reads philosphical writings a lot.

    We were talking about negativity in the workplace and how I could control my response to it.

    He read an article in a Buddhist magazine that said that healthcare workers are basically absorbing the pain and suffering of their patients and then transforming it and taking it out on each other.

    I can see how this might apply in several ways. Anyone else have any thoughts on this?
  2. by   GardenDove
    Quote from WhimsieRN
    I had a discussion with my significant other several days ago. Some background first. He is investigating Buddhism (sp? sorry Buddha!). He reads philosphical writings a lot.

    We were talking about negativity in the workplace and how I could control my response to it.

    He read an article in a Buddhist magazine that said that healthcare workers are basically absorbing the pain and suffering of their patients and then transforming it and taking it out on each other.

    I can see how this might apply in several ways. Anyone else have any thoughts on this?
    I think healthcare workers don't get enough sleep generally, and have alot of demands put on them by out of touch regulatory agencies and adminstrators, in addition to dealing with some difficult patients.

    Why make an esoteric explanation when there is already a perfectly reasonable one that makes total sense?
  3. by   weirdRN
    When I am off work, I practice smiling. I see enough tragedies at work that I have no desire to watch anything remotely sad on my time off.

    When I wake up, I breath easy and slowly for ten minutes before I begin my morning grooming.

    When I am at work I try to arrange my face into a perpetual half smile. Relaxed, neutral. I try to find things to praise and I try to always say thank you and I try to be at least respectful of everyone.

    That is all for the last three months. It isn't completely working. I took some time off thinking that I just needed a little break. It did not work for me. So, I am looking for a new position with a less negative environment.
  4. by   weirdRN
    Quote from GardenDove
    I think healthcare workers don't get enough sleep generally, and have alot of demands put on them by out of touch regulatory agencies and adminstrators, in addition to dealing with some difficult patients.

    Why make an esoteric explanation when there is already a perfectly reasonable one that makes total sense?
    You are right, but why bother complaining about things that I can not change?

    Why not try to change my own thoughts about the situation and try to find a way for me to work within the parameters that I have to for the time being?

    Its okay to complain if you have a suggestion that would effect beneficial change for all concerned, but if you don't wouldn't that negativity be more productive if it was channeled into a proactive organization?
    Last edit by weirdRN on Feb 3, '07
  5. by   LeahJet
    Quote from erdiane
    also had a co-worker brought in to HR and given a "talking to" about being "negative". excellent nurse, knowledgable, long time nurse, wonderful resource nurse. What was he so "negative" about? Staffing levels, poor working conditions, crappy equipment, treatment of staff..... and I agreed with him 100% on every complaint. HE, however, was the "vocal" one, and therefore got the attention of mgmt and got the "talking to". Basically, they threatened to fire him if he didn't stop.

    what a bunch of crap.
    I imagine slave owners reacted about the same with an "uppity" slave. Don't want them all to get in an uproar, you know.
  6. by   AfloydRN
    I don't know that that specifically was the reason someone was written up @ our hospital. I think if you look hard enough you can find fault in anyone. All of us could be written up on any given day for anything- noone is perfect.
  7. by   GardenDove
    Quote from WhimsieRN
    You are right, but why bother complaining about things that I can not change?

    Why not try to change my own thoughts about the situation and try to find a way for me to work within the parameters that I have to for the time being?

    Its okay to complain if you have a suggestion that would effect beneficial change for all concerned, but if you don't wouldn't that negativity be more productive if it was channeled into a proactive organization?

    Yes, that is the serenity prayer and a good approach to life.
  8. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I find the Buddhist POV very interesting, not esoteric. It may have a ring of truth to it.

    That said, no way for one person to change a toxic workplace, unless he/she is in a position of great power or influence. If you are in one, the only way to help yourself is to leave it.
  9. by   blueheaven
    Quote from miko014
    No, never heard of that...but my ANM said to me yesterday, "it's so good to see you in a good mood. When you're in a bad mood, you put everybody in a bad mood." I said that the reason I was in a bad mood was becasue I could feel the tension on the unit the second I got off the elevator, and that the fact that everyone was overworked and stressed was a big part of why I (and everyone else) was not happy, but said said no. Apparantly I have the power to bring everyone down, even the shift before I get there. Imagine!
    Isn't amazing how just one of us instantly has all these magical abilities over others??? If that were true...then why am I working (fill in the blank) HA HA HA!!!

    Face it, they can write you up for anything. All I can say is get copies of it to keep in case you need to talk to a labor attorney! HR can lose and misfile things SOOOO fast it's not funny!
  10. by   miko014
    Well, I have never been written up for it, and that was actually the first time I've really ever heard anything about my attitude. I'm generally a helpful "teamwork, let's just get it done" kinda gal. I will admit that, if you help me when I'm down, I'm much more likely to try to help you. Like the other night, I was caught up, and the newest RN on our unit was having some trouble, and I kept asking if she wanted me to do anything, but she said no. Eventually, I was just like, seriously, tell me what you want me to do, because I'm totally caught up, then she did let me help her. I don't push so hard with certain other people, because I know they will never help me. I guess that's part of my bad attitude right there, but give me a break! If you offer to help me, I'm going to ask you to do the least unpleasant thing that I need done. Some people will give you the grossest/hardest thing. So if those people say they don't need help, I just let them be.

    We have a very high school-ish environment going on right now. Lots of backstabbing and gossip, and I don't understand why. What's the point? I'm not involved in all that - I'm one of the few people who is on "both sides" - I will not run to RN A to tell her what RN B just said about her. The only thing I will do is tell her to stop talking if I see RN B coming, lol. I am just a sounding board. Tell me what you want to get off your chest and let it die. There's no need to get everyone all upset about it!

    That being said, I am getting sick of being understaffed!!!!! We have BUSY pts - sometimes 3 of them are too hard to handle - leukemics are sick! They need a lot of attention. But it's always 5 - 8 pts per RN, and it's TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! They don't consider acuity AT ALL when they make assignments - they had a rating system years ago, before I was ever there, but for some reason they deemed it unnecessary. So yeah, when I go an entire month without having a "good shift", and when I feel like I cannot safely care for the assignment I have, and I complain to the bosses till I'm blue in the face and they do NOTHING about it, then yeah, I can see how I might come across as being a little testy. But I still maintain that I am NOT responsible for the mood of the entire unit!!!!!!!!!!

    Whew! That was long! Sorry............... :wink2:
  11. by   UM Review RN
    I feel like why waste my breath if I'm complaining to the wrong people at the wrong time about things that are out of my control anyhow?

    Better to spend my time controlling what I DO have control over than getting all frustrated.

    Negativity is difficult to work around, but negativity at work can go deeper than dissatisfaction with the actual work.

    Some people are depressed about their life situations and projecting that depression. If someone is perpetually toxic to work with, it's probably NOT the job that's the root of the problem.

    If it's just one person, you can sometimes have a talk with them and they'll realize their attitude is causing more problems than it's solving, and get the counseling and make the lifestyle adjustments that they need.
  12. by   GardenDove
    I agree about that one, Angie. I can think of some nurses that are always negative, but have life situations that they put up with or got themselves into that are contributing. One nurse has 5 young kids and a husband who can't even bother to help get her pre-schooolers to daycare, and she works fulltime to support his spending habits and so they can have 6 horses, in addition to his boy toys.
  13. by   GardenDove
    Another nurse who complains constantly also doesn't stand up to her husband who insisted that they buy an expensive house with acreage, she works nights, but if he needs help around the house or with the kids he'll wake her up. She's also had melanoma, which they caught early fortunately. She has 3 young children, and she had to up her ours to help pay for this house.

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