Gosh, this is tough. I know where you're coming from shandy84. I think what I would do if I were you is report this hospital to JCHAO (if it's the same place that you were talking about in this
thread) or the Ark BON. Actually, maybe you could contact your BON and ask their opinion or even seek the opinion of an attorney specifically invloved in one way or another in healthcare (maybe a JD?).
I understand completely your frustration in substandard care. From the perspective of the daughter of the recipient of substandard healthcare, I would appreciate if a nurse that was involved in my situation contacted me to talk, but I also understand the reprecussions doing something like this might cause. I wouldn't want anyone to take that risk for my benefit.
When I first read your post asking "would you tell," I went looking on the internet for a precedent or for information. You are in a tough position. You want so much to make a difference and undo an injustice. By virtue of being a nurse we are ethically obligated to report these types of situations. But I don't think the obligation extends to direct reporting or contact with family members.
I think that you have to be careful treading the whistleblower role. Do your homework and get good advice. Protect yourself first and foremost. Please be careful. Find the support you need to pursue what you feel is right. Maybe you could call or write back to the ANA?