Would you put your family member in a LTC facility? - page 6

What I'm learning about LTC facilities scare me. I know there must be some good ones out there somewhere???? But really, between staffing issues, cheap owners who shortchange on supplies, MD's... Read More

  1. by   lamazeteacher
    FairyCari, TraumaRUS and ChevyU

    You're absolutely right. Situations vary. It's a matter of space, really, and making it safe by taking precautions (locked locks on doors, supervision when young children are with disabled elders), hiring staff to care for the family member (not taking it on yourself) is what makes it possible.

    Repite is needed for anyone having responsibility for others needing constant care. Home Health Agencies can do that, but are costly, so may be the solution for only short term help. They do provide Registered Nurse supervision and planning for care, which gives the opportunity for sharing new approaches/ideas by very experienced professionals.

    I'm asking that families look at what they can do, rather than automatically thinking that any elderly person requiring care/supervision needs to be placed in facilities. Yes, it interupts the (sometimes) calm flow of activities, or hectic "made it through the day" types of environments.

    I was a single mother and frequently felt so isolated from my loved ones, I would have preferred to have the responsibility for the care of a parent, than the loneliness I experienced, and lack of a (?senile) shoulder to lean on. Hindsight is 20/20.

    However we only have the path we took. I wanted to point the way to other paths open for family members who previously may have thought that only facilities were available to care for elderly disabled folks.
    Last edit by lamazeteacher on Dec 29, '08 : Reason: clarity
  2. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from not_a_hat_person

    i'm going to catch heat for this, but some of the "warehoused" elderly deserve it. i had a job with a lot of elderly clients. some would tell-hair raising stories about abusing their kids, or telling them they weren't welcome if they "married that [insert ethnic slur]", didn't come back to church, or didn't cut their hair. in the next breath, they would lament that their kids never called or visited, and they never saw their grandkids. there's no excuse for elder abuse, but sometimes it's karma.
    [font="comic sans ms"]you're not going to catch any heat from me! i agree with you. sometimes you reap what you sow.
  3. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from lamazeteacher
    not__a___hat___person stated that elderly "warehoused" persons "deserved it", to which i must call attention and decry!

    [
    [font="comic sans ms"]actually, what she said is that while there's no excuse for "elder abuse", some of those "warehoused elderly" who don't ever get visits from their children and grandchildren and aren't welcome to live with their children or grandchildren (provided that those children and grandchildren are able to care for them) are left all alone in nursing homes because they abused, mistreated or drove away their families. and i agree with her.
  4. by   casi
    When my parents get to the point that they need one, yes I will. This may change as I get older, but right now I would.

    I think the biggest thing for me would be finances. My parents haven't made some very bad choices that have them currently sitting far in debt. I also have no clue where I or my parents will be when that time comes. I may not be geographically able to care for them.
  5. by   Not_A_Hat_Person
    Quote from lamazeteacher
    Not__A___Hat___Person stated that elderly "warehoused" persons "deserved it", to which I must call attention and decry!
    No, I said some of them deserve it, specifically the ones who abused, disowned, or estranged their kids, then expected to be taken care of in old age. You can't burn a bridge and expect to re-cross it later.
  6. by   lamazeteacher
    Quote from ruby vee
    actually, what she said is that while there's no excuse for "elder abuse", some of those "warehoused elderly" who don't ever get visits from their children and grandchildren and aren't welcome to live with their children or grandchildren (provided that those children and grandchildren are able to care for them) are left all alone in nursing homes because they abused, mistreated or drove away their families. and i agree with her.
    uh, ruby vee, your interpretation was sweet, but this is what i said:

    "if dysharmony between family members and the elderly person needing care exists, then of course it is best if they aren't in close proximity. the intent of my post was to present a case for direct family oversite of the care given disabled elderly persons, rather than that which is often not optimal in a facility. not all families can rectify wrongs from the past, but in creating the opportunity, miracles can happen - with the help of professionals, or without that.

    i didn't intend to judge families with elders in residential care. sometimes the "last ditch" solution is the only possible one. but please consider it that."

    i really think that it's unwise for adult children to take over the nursing care of their elderly, disabled parent(s). you can burn out more quickly doing that, than someone who gets to go home after a shift with them. we must lobby insurance companies that don't provide this coverage, to cover home care 24/7, rather than pay the higher bills for profit making institutional care. those elderly folks who are able, may benefit more having day care at a well rated place, to socialize (just as preschoolers do). they need more than physical care. that is also better than staying with familoy members day in, day out. :heartbeat
  7. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from lamazeteacher
    not__a___hat___person stated that elderly "warehoused" persons "deserved it", to which i must call attention and decry!

    [
    Quote from lamazeteacher
    uh, ruby vee, your interpretation was sweet, but this is what i said:

    "if dysharmony between family members and the elderly person needing care exists, then of course it is best if they aren't in close proximity. the intent of my post was to present a case for direct family oversite of the care given disabled elderly persons, rather than that which is often not optimal in a facility. not all families can rectify wrongs from the past, but in creating the opportunity, miracles can happen - with the help of professionals, or without that.

    i didn't intend to judge families with elders in residential care. sometimes the "last ditch" solution is the only possible one. but please consider it that."

    i really think that it's unwise for adult children to take over the nursing care of their elderly, disabled parent(s). you can burn out more quickly doing that, than someone who gets to go home after a shift with them. we must lobby insurance companies that don't provide this coverage, to cover home care 24/7, rather than pay the higher bills for profit making institutional care. those elderly folks who are able, may benefit more having day care at a well rated place, to socialize (just as preschoolers do). they need more than physical care. that is also better than staying with familoy members day in, day out. :heartbeat
    [font="comic sans ms"]the post of yours i was responding to was the first; the one where you said that not_a_hat_person stated that elderly "warehoused persons' deserved it. my reply was that you misunderstood what she said. your reply to my post was a bunch of professional jargon which doesn't seem to address either the point that you misinterpreted (or misstated) what not_a_hat_person said or that i agreed with her. in fact, i'm not getting why you quoted me prior to re-iterating your jargon.

  8. by   Vtachy1
    I think the socialization statement is a bunch of hogwash!!!!!!! Truly it really is.
  9. by   TheCommuter
    My dream is for my parents to live to old age, be able to function independently, and remain mentally sharp and lucid. After all, I am their only child, and there would be no other siblings to share the task of caring for them if they were to require constant care.

    However, my mom and dad are making lifestyle and financial choices that might cause my dreams about them to never convert to realities. Both parents are heavy smokers, diabetics, HCV+, hypertensive, etc. My mother is also over 100 pounds overweight.

    If they wanted to delay and/or reduce the burden of caring for them, they would make some serious lifestyle changes that would lead to better health. My greatest fear is that one of my parents might have a massive stroke at a young age due to their habits. This idea is not too far-fetched, since my paternal grandmother did have a major CVA at age 48 (she died at age 60).

    In addition, they have blown through thousands of dollars that could have been used more wisely. My father is 52 years old without a dime of retirement money. He chose to obtain a $60,000 home equity loan for the purchase of a fancy car 5 years ago. A few months ago, he ran up $22,000 in credit card debt and proceeded to obtain yet another home equity loan to bail him out. If he wants or needs private duty care someday, the money will not be there, and I will be unwilling to physically provide it or personally pay for it with my own money. Hence, the idea of a nursing home sounds more appealing.
  10. by   Jo Dirt
    I would put my family member in the nursing home where I work now. The care they give is second to none. I know of several I would never put a family member in, though.
  11. by   Jo Dirt
    Quote from lamazeteacher
    I really think that it's unwise for adult children to take over the nursing care of their elderly, disabled parent(s). You can burn out more quickly doing that, than someone who gets to go home after a shift with them. We must lobby insurance companies that don't provide this coverage, to cover home care 24/7, rather than pay the higher bills for profit making institutional care. Those elderly folks who are able, may benefit more having day care at a well rated place, to socialize (just as preschoolers do). They need more than physical care. That is also better than staying with familoy members day in, day out. :heartbeat
    In Tennessee, Medicaid pays way more for 24/7 private duty nurses than they pay nursing homes. This is why the system is shot.
  12. by   Multicollinearity
    Well, it depends on which family member we're talking about...(insert evil laugh here).
  13. by   Plagueis
    No, I would not put a loved one in a nursing home. My parents and grandparents are deceased, so, in that sense, I don't have to worry about whether to put an older family member in one. However, I know that I don't want to be put in one, so I would never want to put someone I care about in one. While I do hear a few stories about how there are some good LTCs out there, the bad stories seem to significantly overwhelm the good ones. They seem to be related to the fact that many nursing homes are understaffed.

    I am a CNA who has between 10 to 15 residents to care for, depending on whether someone calls out. Let me tell anyone who is wondering: even with "only" 10 residents, I am running around, exhausted, during my shift. I rarely get to take the 15-minute breaks that I'm supposed to get. These are also total-care residents, and most require the assistance of another CNA for transfers, and due to the fact that some are physically combative. It is truly tiring to toilet/change 10 residents every 2 hours, plus feed 2 to 4 of them who can't feed themselves, bathe 2 of them, answer call lights, and help other CNAs.

    I focus on CNAs, since they are the ones who provide most of the hands-on care in nursing homes. In my experience, it is impossible to many CNAs to care properly because of the high number of residents they have to care for. Let's use mealtime as an example: If a resident cannot feed him or herself, and it takes 30 minutes to feed her, and the CNA has 3 people to feed (I know CNAs who have up to 5 to feed), then she will be spending 90 minutes out of the 8-hour shift just feeding. What about the other 10 residents she may have to care for during that 90 minutes, such as if 2 have to be toileted? There isn't always another CNA around to help out. What about toileting every resident every 2 hours? If it takes, say, 10 minutes to toilet one (and it can take longer if a mechanical lift is required), then the CNA can only do 6 residents in an hour. If a CNA has 12 total-care residents, then that is 2 hours spent toileting everyone. By the time that's done, it's time to take the first resident to the toilet again!

    Basically, based on my personal experience, and the horror stories I've heard from other CNAs and in the news, many nursing homes are not that good because of the understaffing, period. Therefore, I don't think I would be taken care of properly if I was put in one.

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