Worst day ever!

  1. I had the worst day ever in the history of worst days! I feel so bad and I wish that I had never gotten up to go to school this morning just to avoid today. This day was so bad that I might as well give up on the idea that nursing school will be enjoyable and that I might have friends.

    No one will be friends with me after this!

    I know I sound dramatic but don't roll your eyes yet. This is not your cliche bad clinical stories on here or bad day at work or anything. I did a very bad thing based on an assumption and now I'm hated and/or black listed. Okay fine, that does sound dramatic. But this person was nice to me. In fact she knows my mom and she's seen me around town and now she hates me. I haven't made any friends but if I had to choose, she'd be one of the people I would pick.

    I sent a file that was on her phone to a WhatsApp group I made for everyone in the class. It was topics that we could use to study for the midterms test on biochemistry. But...I did it without her permission. What happened was, I saw that she had a PowerPoint up and I thought that could help others and asked her to send it to the group. She didn't know how so I kinda went through it and while looking for it I saw a file called 'midterm review'.

    I remembered a while back about her and a couple of other students talking about some kinda cheat or something on one of the subjects and assumed they circled it around. I thought they would share it but some of us didn't get it (well, I didn't) and so since it would help, I sent it to the group.

    Apparently, she was the only that had it and got it from another source and she could get in trouble if anyone found out. Still wondering how she would get in trouble since she had the topics and not the actual questions.


    The thing I need to know is: how can I fix this?

    I deleted the group and created another group (although in the end it didn't help). I feel super bad - I actually cried when I went home and I still feel like crying.

    Can I salvage anything at all?
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  2. 27 Comments

  3. by   Sour Lemon
    I read this three times and I still feel thoroughly confused about what actually happened.
  4. by   CallMeSally
    I was on her phone trying to send a certain file to a group. I saw a midterm review paper with the topics that would come on the midterm biochem exam. I sent it to the WhatsApp group without her permission. She got upset and yelled at me.

    Still confused?
  5. by   Sour Lemon
    Quote from CallMeSally
    I was on her phone trying to send a certain file to a group. I saw a midterm review paper with the topics that would come on the midterm biochem exam. I sent it to the WhatsApp group without her permission. She got upset and yelled at me.

    Still confused?
    So is the issue cheating or screwing around in her personal files?
  6. by   BSNbeDONE
    Basically, the OP found what was believed to be a cheat sheet (or midterm examination topics) for the midterms on her friends phone, and sent it to a group of people without her friend's permission. If this gets out, the friend may possibly be kicked out of the program on grounds of academic dishonesty because (1), the file was linked to the friend's phone, and (2), what was the friend doing with the file in the first place?

    To the OP, no, you can't fix this. You violated your friend's privacy, you showed that you cannot be trusted around other people's belongings, and you overstepped some serious personal boundaries. Who needs friends like that? That's what enemies are for.

    I think that if she is dismissed from the program, the person who sent the file out to the group, (you), should be as well.
    Last edit by BSNbeDONE on Oct 10 : Reason: spelling
  7. by   Sour Lemon
    Hopefully no one will take notice, it will blow over, and you'll learn something from it. I don't see anything you can do about it besides wait and hope, though.
  8. by   BSNbeDONE
    Quote from Sour Lemon
    Hopefully no one will take notice, it will blow over, and you'll learn something from it. I don't see anything you can do about it besides wait and hope, though.
    And pray! Too many people are now privilege to this 'secret'. Remember that old adage, 'the only way to know for sure that two people can keep a secret is that one of them is dead'? The OP had already mentioned that the file was circulating, but the friend was the only person in their little cohort to receive it. I guess she was the only one who the original sender believed could be trusted.

    Now, it is a group project, so-to-speak, especially if the OP sent the file out as a group text. She has pulled everyone into this. Someone will surely get nervous and not want to be party to all the cheating that's going on, and will sooner or later speak up. It doesn't look too good from where I sit.
  9. by   paisling
    You apologized to her, right?
  10. by   ItsThatJenGirl
    There's nothing you can do but apologize. You screwed up. Now it's just a wait and see kinda thing.
  11. by   xoemmylouox
    I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm not sure what advice you are expecting. You violated someone's trust, you sent files to others without that person's permission (my guess is because you knew they wouldn't want you to), and you put everyone you sent that to at risk of being punished. You know what you did was wrong, and if you don't know we can't help you. If you are looking for an easy way out, I'm going to go ahead and tell you there isn't one. Hopefully this blows over, but it's unlikely to. You've created a reputation for yourself. Now own up and work on rebuilding trust.
  12. by   adventure_rn
    From the title "Worst Day Ever" and the opening sentence, "I had the worst day ever in the history of worst days!" I was expecting something along the lines of, "I made a med error and my patient coded," or "I just watched a newborn die in the arms of his weeping mother," or, "I was accused of diverting narcotics and have now lost my job and livelihood," not "I betrayed my friend's trust and it caused a lot of drama."

    Color me jaded, but I'm a little underwhelmed.

    Apologize, try to mend bridges, learn from the situation, and move forward.
    Last edit by adventure_rn on Oct 12
  13. by   Meeshie
    I'll add to all the advise.... when you are all cheating your way through nursing school it behooves you to not post about it on a site. One of your classmates might realize who you are on here and turn you in.
  14. by   not.done.yet
    Let me preface this by stating I am not going to beat you up. This may sound harsh, but I do not mean it harshly. It just kind of is what it is, you know?

    You did something horrible. It feels like crap because it was a crap thing to do and you either didn't think or did think but moved forward anyway. Now your conscience is bothering you and you are going to suffer the social ramifications and possibly other ramifications. You can't save the friend from having had it on her phone, but if she goes down for this you ethically should be going down with her.

    All that being said, LEARN. Just learn from it.
    No, you are not going to salvage this relationship. That hurts and it sucks. Learn from it.
    Yes, you may get kicked out of nursing school for academic dishonesty. That hurts and it sucks and you will need to move on to Plan B if that happens. Learn from it.

    Never get on someone else's phone/tablet/computer again.
    Never access someone else's files again.
    Never send something from someone else's files again. Even with their permission don't do it. Ask them to do it.
    Never expend energy trying to get an edge at school in a questionable way again. Not for yourself. Not for others.
    Be the person you want to be and you will never have to feel this way again.
    You will never, for the rest of your life, look back on this and not cringe. That being said...you will move on from it. Life will go on. I cannot say it will be okay. I don't know that and neither does anyone else. There will be consequences. How all encompassing and severe remains yet to be seen. At a minimum you can assume correctly that the individual's privacy you violated will likely never be your friend. Apologize humbly. Mean it. And then all you can do is accept the consequences that come from these actions. Not having this individual as a friend is going to be one of those consequences. Others will likely get past it in time.

    Find a trusted adult not associated with your nursing school or classmates to talk to about this. You will need support as the fallout comes...and come it will.

    Learn.
    Last edit by not.done.yet on Oct 12

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