Working five 12hr shifts a week - page 6

I know this is going to sound totally insane, but I am determined to be a stay-at-home mom. In order to do this my husband would have to work the standard 3 12 hr shifts and then pick up 2 PRN 12 hr... Read More

  1. by   mekrn
    I am very sorry that you feel attacked on this thread. However, you did ask, and you are getting the opinion of people who have been there, done that. Clearly you know what you want to do, so why ask?

    I will tell you that when I first had my children I was like you and wanted to stay home. My husband (who is a paramedic) worked 5 12s night shift. It was awful. He never saw our children because he was either sleeping or working. There was a lot of stress. Even when he was sleeping, it was often interrupted by babies crying, children playing, lawn mowers, etc., things that my only wake you for a split second, but affects the quality of sleep.

    After I had #3, we decided that I would work part-time. My children have never been in daycare. I work around my husbands rotating schedule. It works out. We share parenting. We share housework (although I'm the only one who does it right ) My husband is not burnt out. I only work the days that he was off the night before. On days that my husband has worked the night before, he sleeps for a while and then we are both home with our children that are not in school. There is a lot of family time, and my husband gets to enjoy that just as much as I do. My children have thrived on this arrangement. You do not need to be a nurse to have this kind of arrangement. Even if he worked 3-4 12s you could work somewhere doing whatever 2 days a week. It may not be your dream job, but how many of us are lucky enough to live a dream? I know you say your husband is ok with this, and I believe that it is true. While some have been harsh, most of the posters here know what it is like to work 12 hour night shifts and it is brutal. (Yes I once did it too, and hated it.)

    Additionally, you husband may not be able to get a PRN job as a new grad. Usually experience is required for those, so it is not something you would be able to do right away.

    I do not think that this thread has turned into stay-at-home vs. working moms. I think it is more about an unrealistic and possibly dangerous expectation. In the back of your mind you must have some doubt or I don't think you would have posted.

    Good luck to you.:spin:
  2. by   PMFB-RN
    Quote from sister--*
    And about the farmer. Sorry, I just don't see the similarities. The Farmer decides his time, he has ultimate autonomy. He can decide when to use the bathroom, when to eat, when to rest, and when to call it a day.
    *** Not quite. In dairy farming it is the cows that decide when the day is over. The work is far more physicaly demanding, and MUCH more dangerous. As a nurse I am at least guarented that I will get paid for every hour I work, farmer have no such thing. The other big difference is that I worked outside all day, every day regardless of the weather. 10-16 hours doing hard manual lablor in 20 degrees below zero is far, far more taxing than taking care of a fresh post CABG or managing CRRT and vaso-active drips.
    I have done both and know of what I speak.
    Also 12 hours ICU nursing is way less taxing than being shot at for 30 seconds
  3. by   BSNtobe2009
    What my parents did, and this is something to consider...my father had to work during the day because of his practice, but he worked pretty much M-F. My mother worked the night shift and slept during the day. There were only a couple of hours here and there when we needed a sitter, and with both of them working it also afforded them to hire a housekeeper to come in a couple of times a month to do a thorough cleaning.

    We were never in daycare...and both worked full time.

    It's something to consider.
  4. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from PMFB-RN
    *** Not quite. In dairy farming it is the cows that decide when the day is over. The work is far more physicaly demanding, and MUCH more dangerous. As a nurse I am at least guarented that I will get paid for every hour I work, farmer have no such thing. The other big difference is that I worked outside all day, every day regardless of the weather. 10-16 hours doing hard manual lablor in 20 degrees below zero is far, far more taxing than taking care of a fresh post CABG or managing CRRT and vaso-active drips.
    I have done both and know of what I speak.
    Also 12 hours ICU nursing is way less taxing than being shot at for 30 seconds
    Thanks for saying this - I meant to add the military.

    Obviously people know very little about farming but I will add that I also said my husband drives a logging truck and he actually DOES have other people's lives in his hands on the road. Driving a truck is not physically difficult, except for putting on chains on a snowy road (something my husband did this mornig) or throwing wrappers over the logs. Farming is very physically taxing.

    Again - advice is fine and personal experiences are good but to make personal comments about the op's motives is not. Even if she did ask the question, she still deserves to be treated respectfully.

    To the op - you can ask the mods to close this thread if you wish.

    steph
  5. by   PANurseRN1
    That's true. Truck driving is dangerous work. Several years ago, a family in my area burned to death when their car was struck by a trucker who was overtired.

    I agree, the thread should be closed. The OP was looking for someone to validate something she'd pretty much already decided. She got at least one person who did so. No need for further input.
  6. by   lannisz
    Just some things that may not have been mentioned already:
    - The cost of daycare often eats up an entire second paycheck.
    - Tax liability may also make a difference depending on how many shifts worked.
    - You never really know how children effect your life (and relationship) until you have them.
  7. by   muffie
    i would not ask that of a loved one
  8. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from muffie
    i would not ask that of a loved one
    He is offering . . . she asked us if it was insane. It was his idea and the op is trying to get some advice.

    steph
  9. by   johnnrachel
    Just a thought to let you know it is not uncommon for prn or per diem staff to be called off, they are the first floated and the first called off. Just thought I would let you know you would need to consider this with regard to finances, and it is very, very hard to get the 5 shifts in a row, would probably include a lot of weekends. Just something to consider....
    still think you could be a GREAT mom and work part time to help the hubby.
  10. by   PMFB-RN
    Quote from stevielynn
    Again - advice is fine and personal experiences are good but to make personal comments about the op's motives is not. Even if she did ask the question, she still deserves to be treated respectfully.
    steph
    *** Most of your message was to me. I hope the above part was not. I have only offered my personal experience and never made personal comments about the OP.
  11. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from PMFB-RN
    *** Most of your message was to me. I hope the above part was not. I have only offered my personal experience and never made personal comments about the OP.

    No! I love your posts! :bowingpur


    steph
  12. by   lisamc1RN
    Aggie, my husband worked 60 hours or more for years so that I could stay home with the children. We were a team in the decision and it worked for us. Now that I'm a nurse, we are still a team. My husband works and I work and our schedules go together so that one of us is always with our children. You can make it work. I would suggest though, that if you plan on waiting to have children for a couple of years, to figure out a good budget that may allow your husband to work a little less often if he finds that he's getting tired or burnt out. Check out some good 'living on a budget' and penny pincher sites and you will find a world of wonderful ideas on living on one income! Best of luck to you and your husband!
  13. by   RazorbackRN
    Quote from aggieamy5
    I know this is going to sound totally insane, but I am determined to be a stay-at-home mom. In order to do this my husband would have to work the standard 3 12 hr shifts and then pick up 2 PRN 12 hr shifts, as well. Therefore, he would be working 5 12 hr shifts in a week (preferably in a row, nights). This seems like a lot to me, but he swears it will be no problem, as he has never had problems in the past with sleep or feeling tired. I'd love to hear any thoughts on this. Has anyone ever tried anything even remotely similar?

    Have you thought of working weekends perhaps?? This way you could be at home all week with the child(ren) and give your husband a break. 60hrs/wk may be feasible, but it isn't healthy.

close