Working five 12hr shifts a week - page 3

I know this is going to sound totally insane, but I am determined to be a stay-at-home mom. In order to do this my husband would have to work the standard 3 12 hr shifts and then pick up 2 PRN 12 hr... Read More

  1. by   RNSacht
    Quote from aggieamy5
    I am not a nurse so, no, I can't work PRN shifts. Plus, for the field I'm in there really aren't too many part-time jobs out there so that's not an option. We are VERY good with our finances and I know all about downsizing, cutting back, etc. to make things work. I wasn't born yesterday. I just wanted some feedback on if anyone had ever done this and if it worked. From my experience, it seems like men can more easily handle working more hours than women. Like I said earlier, I know tons of husbands that work more than this in the corporate world and at chemical plants. My husband would also be getting the exact same number of hours of sleep that he does now. We plan to try this whole scenerio out for a couple of years before we try to start having kids. If it doesn't work then, of course, we will ditch the plan. I do appreciate the feedback, though.
    Im so sorry but as I read your additional posts you sound selfish and Have absolutely NO IDEA how burned out your husband will get. There is no reason why you cant work a part time job as well. Your asking for advice and we are all telling you the truth you do not want to hear.
  2. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from RNSacht
    Im so sorry but as I read your additional posts you sound selfish and Have absolutely NO IDEA how burned out your husband will get. There is no reason why you cant work a part time job as well. Your asking for advice and we are all telling you the truth you do not want to hear.
    Not everyone is agreeing that he cannot do it and still be a good husband and father. And the op has listened and has taken some advice into consideration - have you read this whole thread?

    Again, lots of people work very hard and still manage to maintain a life with their spouses and kids without burning out.

    steph
  3. by   aggieamy5
    RNSacht,
    You have to remember that people are individuals and not all just like you. Just becuase this may not be ideal for you, does not mean that it will not work for him. People do this in other lines of work everyday. I will see my husband plenty if we were to do this (only about 2 hrs less than I see him now not counting when we sleep).


    I knew posting this that some would be very critical of this idea. I just wanted some feedback of things we may not have considered and most of you have been very helpful!
  4. by   PMFB-RN
    Quote from aggieamy5
    I know this is going to sound totally insane, but I am determined to be a stay-at-home mom. In order to do this my husband would have to work the standard 3 12 hr shifts and then pick up 2 PRN 12 hr shifts, as well. Therefore, he would be working 5 12 hr shifts in a week (preferably in a row, nights). This seems like a lot to me, but he swears it will be no problem, as he has never had problems in the past with sleep or feeling tired. I'd love to hear any thoughts on this. Has anyone ever tried anything even remotely similar?
    *** My wife is a stay at home mom and I work 5 12s a week in the ICU to make that possible. It's no problem at all for me and actualy I work fewer hours now than I did in my old business (dairy farming) and fewer than when I was in the army. I would like to spend more time with my kids but for that to happen my wife would have to work nearly full time (she is not a nurse) and then the kids would be in day care much of the time.
    I feel no ill-effects at all and as I said before I don't really even consider 60 hours to be a lot of hours to work in a week.
    So I say no big deal.
  5. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from PMFB-RN
    *** My wife is a stay at home mom and I work 5 12s a week in the ICU to make that possible. It's no problem at all for me and actualy I work fewer hours now than I did in my old business (dairy farming) and fewer than when I was in the army. I would like to spend more time with my kids but for that to happen my wife would have to work nearly full time (she is not a nurse) and then the kids would be in day care much of the time.
    I feel no ill-effects at all and as I said before I don't really even consider 60 hours to be a lot of hours to work in a week.
    So I say no big deal.
    As I said, maybe farmers and loggers don't have a problem with the concept of working from sunup to sundown.

    My father-in-law's dream was a dairy farm! He raised crops instead and milked just a few cows. We miss that fresh milk.

    I commend you - not wanting your kids in daycare and home with your wife is unusual these days.

    steph
  6. by   aggieamy5
    Quote from RNSacht
    Im so sorry but as I read your additional posts you sound selfish and Have absolutely NO IDEA how burned out your husband will get. There is no reason why you cant work a part time job as well. Your asking for advice and we are all telling you the truth you do not want to hear.
    I just read your above post and really do not appreciate being called "selfish." I believe staying home with children is a pretty selfless act. I will also be taking on all of the cooking, cleaning, etc, which my husband does now. He is an extremely generous, selfless person whom I appreicate dearly. RNSacht, I will not lower myself to this kind of name calling and rudeness simply because we disagree.
  7. by   cenote
    I believe it's a really bad idea for all the reasons already stated. Also, I don't understand why you two can't share parenting and work. Your husband could do the 5 night a week thingy for a few months then, when the baby is more settled, you could contribute two nights and let him do three. Even if you did one night a week, it'd make life much more tolerable and he'd acually be able to enjoy the child with you. This stay at home parenting concept can work great with two parents. Neither one would be overstressed and the child would reap all the benefits.
  8. by   aggieamy5
    Quote from cenote
    I believe it's a really bad idea for all the reasons already stated. Also, I don't understand why you two can't share parenting and work. Your husband could do the 5 night a week thingy for a few months then, when the baby is more settled, you could contribute two nights and let him do three. Even if you did one night a week, it'd make life much more tolerable and he'd acually be able to enjoy the child with you. This stay at home parenting concept can work great with two parents. Neither one would be overstressed and the child would reap all the benefits.
    I've already said numerous times that part-time work is not really available in my field, as this would be our ideal circumstance. I would love to work a just a couple of days a week. I'm not a nurse and do not really have those kind of options.
  9. by   johnnrachel
    Quote from aggieamy5
    I just read your above post and really do not appreciate being called "selfish." I believe staying home with children is a pretty selfless act. I will also be taking on all of the cooking, cleaning, etc, which my husband does now. He is an extremely generous, selfless person whom I appreicate dearly. RNSacht, I will not lower myself to this kind of name calling and rudeness simply because we disagree.
    It is very obvious that you want to stay home and burn your husband out, if you notice, all of the people who disagree (which you seem not to like) are nurses who work 12 hours shifts. I give you less than a year and you will be divorced than you will be forced to work. Dont ask for advice if you dont want to hear it. And please enlighten us all, last time I looked there were MANY part time positions in the paper, why dont you offer to babysit??
  10. by   johnnrachel
    Quote from cenote
    I believe it's a really bad idea for all the reasons already stated. Also, I don't understand why you two can't share parenting and work. Your husband could do the 5 night a week thingy for a few months then, when the baby is more settled, you could contribute two nights and let him do three. Even if you did one night a week, it'd make life much more tolerable and he'd acually be able to enjoy the child with you. This stay at home parenting concept can work great with two parents. Neither one would be overstressed and the child would reap all the benefits.


    VERY WELL SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  11. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from johnnrachel
    It is very obvious that you want to stay home and burn your husband out, if you notice, all of the people who disagree (which you seem not to like) are nurses who work 12 hours shifts. I give you less than a year and you will be divorced than you will be forced to work. Dont ask for advice if you dont want to hear it. And please enlighten us all, last time I looked there were MANY part time positions in the paper, why dont you offer to babysit??
    Are we all reading the same thread?

    The op starts off saying that she wonders if this schedule is "insane" and then goes on to say that her dh is all for it and thinks he can do it.

    The op has thanked people for practical advise but didn't like being called "selfish" or other negative things. How is calling her names helpful?

    There is at least one MALE who has posted here who says he works 5 12 hour shifts in an ICU and he doesn't have a problem with it - is his opinion not valid for some reason?

    I've mentioned that most of the men in the community I live in work way more than 12 hours a day and if they are farmers, they work every single day with no days off.

    My husband would have no problem with 5 12's . . .it is less than he works now and he is not burned out and he contributes time and energy to me, our kids, the house, etc.

    I agree that this can be hard but it is doable and some of the practical advice is very good. But the op is NOT selfish - her dh wants to do this.

    steph
  12. by   aggieamy5
    Quote from johnnrachel
    It is very obvious that you want to stay home and burn your husband out, if you notice, all of the people who disagree (which you seem not to like) are nurses who work 12 hours shifts. I give you less than a year and you will be divorced than you will be forced to work. Dont ask for advice if you dont want to hear it. And please enlighten us all, last time I looked there were MANY part time positions in the paper, why dont you offer to babysit??
    Please do not tell me I will be divorced. You do not know me or him nor do you know our values/beliefs on divorce. Like I said my husband is totally happy with this idea. No one is forcing or pressuring him to do anything. He is a grown man who can make his own decisions. I have thaked people for their advice several times and am considering ALL of it (both good and bad). I just do not like to be called names or harshly criticized - plain and simple. Most everyone has been very nice and helpful, with the exception a couple of exceptions. I never dreamed that some would be so rude.
  13. by   aggieamy5
    Quote from stevielynn
    Are we all reading the same thread?

    The op starts off saying that she wonders if this schedule is "insane" and then goes on to say that her dh is all for it and thinks he can do it.

    The op has thanked people for practical advise but didn't like being called "selfish" or other negative things. How is calling her names helpful?

    There is at least one MALE who has posted here who says he works 5 12 hour shifts in an ICU and he doesn't have a problem with it - is his opinion not valid for some reason?

    I've mentioned that most of the men in the community I live in work way more than 12 hours a day and if they are farmers, they work every single day with no days off.

    My husband would have no problem with 5 12's . . .it is less than he works now and he is not burned out and he contributes time and energy to me, our kids, the house, etc.

    I agree that this can be hard but it is doable and some of the practical advice is very good. But the op is NOT selfish - her dh wants to do this.

    steph
    Thanks! I especially appreciate your help and encouragement.

close