Why did I go to school to be a nurse?

Nurses General Nursing

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Why is that every family member with no medical or nursing back ground feels like they can tell me how to do my job? In the past week, I have had one too many family members try to tell me how to do my job. I had two family members tell me exactly when I was to give their loved one their meds. I tell them that I have thirty other residents to care for it is not always possible to be there at that time and I would do my best, but it will not always be possible to be there at the exact time that they wish. They go over my head and these doctor's are so busy trying to make these people happy that they actually order these meds at specific times. There is no reason for these meds to have specific times!!! They are making my impossible job even more difficult. When I talk to my supervisor she says what will it hurt to just make them happy. Nothing except these things seem to snowball out of control one person wants their meds at this time and another want them at that time. Before you know it I am passing meds all day long. I have to assess people, do treatments, chart, ect... When the heck am I to do anything, but the meds at this time and the meds at that time. I feel like I am being jerked around by everyone here and I am going to lose it soon. Any advice from anyone would help. I thought we had certain times for med passes for a reason.

Specializes in LTC, Med-SURG,STICU.
Hear, hear! Not all management people are so bad! I am the DON at a LTC facility. I hadn't wanted to be, but the job sort of landed in my lap. Corporate may regret that choice on their part. But here is what I do. When I have a family member who demands mama have her pills at exactly a specific time, then they can come and give them to her. They have absolutely no idea what all my nurses have to do, so do not put such time constraints on them. They need not bother to call my doctors b/c they will tell them the same thing. And lest the doctor forget, I have all their cell phone numbers, and I'm not afraid to use them. Now, Mrs. E. wants her hs pills as early as possible, so I do ask my nurses to give hers first, but she is the only one with that request on that hall, and it is not for an exact time. If my nurses or aides have trouble with a family member, I expect them to come and get me so I can deal with it. They should not have to handle everything on their own. I have had family members so demanding that I advised they take their loved one elsewhere b/c I will not have my nurses bullied. Staffing was awful when I took over 4 yrs ago. For example, 1 LPN on nites for 60 residents. After I made my arguments to corporate, I got another LPN, and now even an RN from 7p-7a. I work very hard to make my nurses and aides jobs easier. Just gave an LPN off 3 days this week b/c she is feeling so stressed...home problems in addition to work.

So please don't throw all of us management people out the window. Some of us really try.

I know that I do not work with you, but I must thank you. Thanks for standing up for your floor nurse even though it puts you in an uncomfortable spot. We need more managers like you. Thank you.

Why is that every family member with no medical or nursing back ground feels like they can tell me how to do my job? In the past week, I have had one too many family members try to tell me how to do my job. I had two family members tell me exactly when I was to give their loved one their meds. I tell them that I have thirty other residents to care for it is not always possible to be there at that time and I would do my best, but it will not always be possible to be there at the exact time that they wish. They go over my head and these doctor's are so busy trying to make these people happy that they actually order these meds at specific times. There is no reason for these meds to have specific times!!! They are making my impossible job even more difficult. When I talk to my supervisor she says what will it hurt to just make them happy. Nothing except these things seem to snowball out of control one person wants their meds at this time and another want them at that time. Before you know it I am passing meds all day long. I have to assess people, do treatments, chart, ect... When the heck am I to do anything, but the meds at this time and the meds at that time. I feel like I am being jerked around by everyone here and I am going to lose it soon. Any advice from anyone would help. I thought we had certain times for med passes for a reason.

Too bad, because it sounds like in addition to unthinking families and doctors, your nursing managers are weak as well.

If you want to go the passive-aggressive route, get orders for four or five other Pt's meds to be given at the same specific time, then ask your supervisor how to handle it.

Seems like you have to take it to the absurd to get some managers to figure out what won't work, when a little thought and backbone would avoid the mess entirely.

Specializes in LTC, geriatric, psych, rehab.

The funny thing is, I not only had not wanted this job (DON), but I never wanted to be a nurse. Odd set of circumstances that led me here. When I got my RN 26 yrs ago, I swore I'd quit as soon as I could. I'm still here...guess I feel like I make a difference. I had wanted to be a vet, or a writer. This management thing seems pretty simple to me. Care about your employees and put yourself in their place. I guess I try so hard to be a good DON b/c I have had some horrible ones over the years. Maybe I should write a book about it since I wanted to write.

And for those who asked...I knew a month ago that one of my 11-7 LPNs was going to have to quit the end of this month b/c of family needs. Within a week, I had three applications for his position. One is a nurse who makes alot more than what I can pay her. When I asked her why she'd take the job she just said that it was such a nice place to work. When I go home at nite, I may get a call from my nurse who is crying, upset over a family problem. We talk. But I very rarely get a call that there is a problem at work. I go on vacation and I don't have to worry. Either alot of management people haven't figured this out, or they just don't care. And if they don't care, me writing a book won't make a bit of difference. Guess I'll just stick with nursing.

You know, I just don't understand it. I know that you are correct, but why? Do you have any idea how much easier my job is b/c my nurses and aides are happy? My nurses will bend over backwards to do whatever I ask of them. But then, I don't ask them to do anything that I won't or can't do myself. Last time my corporate nurse told me I had to make my nurses do something, I told her I'd be glad to do so as soon as she came and did it herself for one week. When I could see that she could do it, then I'd ask my nurses to. I swear I thought she was going to fire me over that one. But her request was unreasonable. I think all management people should have to do the work of their employees sometimes. Directors of nursing need to work as an aide now and then. They need to go pass pills...just one med pass would do it! When one of my aides died, the others of course wanted to go to his funeral. I let all go who wanted to. All of us office nurses worked as aides while they were gone. Even the administrator came out and made beds. I was so glad to see them when they got back!!! My back was killing me after 2 hrs! I've done the same for my nurses. It doesn't take much at all, and they appreciate it so much. So I don't understand why other management people do not see this. I would like for some of them to answer that question.

You know, I have been advocating this exact same thing for what seems like ages! In my opinion, it should be MANDATORY for all managers to work a day on the floor every so often. This simple act would allow the mangers to experience what the nurses are going through each and every day, and would provide them with a perspective that they would be unable to gain in any other manner. Even if that manager worked as a floor nurses for years prior to obtaining their management position, it is very easy to forget how difficult the job of a nurse "in the trenches" can be. Getting out of that office, putting on some scrubs, rolling up those sleeves and experiencing it for themselves is the only way to remain truly in touch.

The other benefit to this would be that the manager would gain the admiration and support of the front-line nurses who would know that the manaager is not asking them to do anything he or she would not do.

I feel quite lucky. Generally speaking, our doctors do not cosign this kind of bull poop (stuff like the med timings and so on) from patients and families.

Specializes in Derm/Wound Care/OP Surgery/LTC.

I think I am lucky to have always had the support of the docs I work with. It goes a long way. Can't tell you how to manage with administration, but I do know that when a family member goes on a trip...I usually tell them that that is when the doctor ordered the med to be given. Generally that stops the complaining from the family. They hear "doctor" and all of a sudden, they stop their nonsense. I have been told by my docs that if a family starts in with "that's not when we give her the medication when she is home" he always tells me "have them call me and I will straighten them out".

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