Why cant we all just get along?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Sometimes I just want the people I work with to like me,to support me etc. and other times Ill take an issue with someone,which ususally alienates them,despite my efforts to be professional.

How important is it for you that the nurses you work with like you?,talk to you? be friendly? And does the need for love and belonging by your fellow nurses take a priority over speaking your mind about any issue at work which would put you at risk for being alienated from others?

I know some who never say what they should be said,in a professional manner of course,cause they dont want to be disliked.

Support you? Yes, you need that. You need to know who you can count on in a pinch. Like you? Not necessary. Get along? Tolerate you for the sake of a shift not filled with tension? Act professional towards you? MANDATORY!!! There have been nurses that I flat out didn't like for one reason or another to whom and for whom I've been a resource person. But other than professional conversation, I had nothing to do with them. The person who took offense to you speaking your mind was going to take offense regardless of how it was said. Some people can't take criticism or advice. Not speaking your mind for the sake of getting along isn't being true to yourself. And nobody has to look at you in the mirror but you. And it doesn't help you patients either.

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^5 MollyMo.

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Thanks

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

This may sound a bit cold, but: I do not go to work to make friends or be popular. I do my job; do it well and honestly. I don't slough off and shove my responsiblities onto others and I jump in when I see others need help ....Now, if I make a friend or two in so doing, so much the better for me. But to me, the object of going to work is NOT to win the popularity contest or make buddies; it is to work as a team in a professional and cooperative manner. Fortunately, I happen to really like a lot of the people I work with, currently. It has certainly NOT always been the case, but then, I never sweated that. I just went on and did my job. My REAL life is at home, where I DO care about being loved and loving sincerely in return. I draw a careful line so as to stay sane.:D

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Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

Ditto !

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^5 SmilingbluEyes!

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Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes

This may sound a bit cold, but: I do not go to work to make friends or be popular. I do my job; do it well and honestly. I don't slough off and shove my responsiblities onto others and I jump in when I see others need help ....Now, if I make a friend or two in so doing, so much the better for me. But to me, the object of going to work is NOT to win the popularity contest or make buddies; it is to work as a team in a professional and cooperative manner. Fortunately, I happen to really like a lot of the people I work with, currently. It has certainly NOT always been the case, but then, I never sweated that. I just went on and did my job. My REAL life is at home, where I DO care about being loved and loving sincerely in return. I draw a careful line so as to stay sane.:D

Well said!! I too am very fortunate that I enjoy good relationships with most of my co-workers. There are a few that I consider good friends that I do outside things with, and have even traveled with. Most of the others are people I enjoy in the work environment only. There are a few people I work with, however, that I simply do not like. I am always professional and civil to these people, but usually only have work related conversations with them. It is important to remain professional at work, and put patient care first.

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Specializes in ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89.

Amen!

You don't have to like me, you just have to work WITH me for the good of the patient.

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You also have to figure in that there are just some people who do NOT want to get along. They are called "Drama Queens", "potstirrers", etc. You know who they are - they are constantly looking at the negative in each and every person they come across, never have anything good to say and are ALWAYS complaining. They have issues (they always do) - the key is not to let them bring you into their world.

I think SmilingBluEyes said it best.

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Specializes in MS Home Health.

I enjoy being liked but I do not have to time to play games, talk about people behind their back or do other nasty things. I have seen so many nurses buy into this kinda crap. I just don't have the time or energy for games anymore....

renerian

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

AMEN, renerian! Well said! And yes, Vegas, you make an excellent point; the Drama Queens are a big reason why I avoid killing myself to make friends at work. I don't have time for that in my life, either. Say what you want about me, but do NOT be UNPROFESSIONAL around the patients and visitors or other staff. THAT, I cannot Abide! Now I would go out of my way to make a few really GOOD FRIENDS here at ALLNURSES! So many of you are just awesome human beings!:)

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The worst I have experienced personally involved the "leader of the pack" deciding for reasons that are long forgotten that no one in her group was allowed to speak to me (she was down right mean in many ways and enforced her rules on people, a very ugly situation all around.) It was uncomfortable for me. But, I don't go to work to be liked, to make dear and close friends, or to win a popularity contest, I go to work and take care of sick people. From the start of the enforced "shunning" there were people, mostly aides, who would talk to me in out of the way corners, eventually there were more ad more of then and the insitgator of the situation figuring out that she was losing her power there transferred to another floor. I was fortunate in that I had a boss who understood what was happening and was very supportive of me sticking it out. I did resent at the time that she wasn't willing to transfer her problem to another area, but to wait for the person to make the decision.

The thing I find truly intolerable is when a nurse will not talk to another nurse about patient issues. When I was a relatively new charge nurse, one of the night nurses refused to even take report from one of the nurses on 3-11. Taking report is a basic nursing function and duty. I insisted the 3-11 nurse give report, she has to behave like a professional even if the night nurse wouldn't. She wasn't happy about it but the night nurse did listen to report.

Wouldn't nursing be easy if we'd all stop acting so very human and childish at times?

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