Why are nurses disrespected so much? - page 9
Hi all! I just started our clinical this week as a new nursing student and there is something that's been bothering me and I just can't seem to come to terms with it... why are nurses so... Read More
Sep 17, '17Quote from Tammi123Better to correct her use of the term "nurse" now than have her get into serious trouble for breaking the law.Seriously, ever heard of eating your young? Give the poor kid a break about the user name. Are we really SO insecure that a student that is working towards being a nurse is such a threat? They are very concerned about the way that patients treat nurses. This is a very valid concern and one we should address and help them to find their way toward resolving. Making the user name the issue is a coup out. Avoiding an issue that all "nurses"- experienced, newbie or student need to unite to address. This is part of the problem. We let levels of experience and ego get in the way of a united front that makes us all stronger. Support this individual and offer up your own experience, don't be threatened by someone that is seeing things with fresh eyes.
Sep 17, '17Quote from SkippingtoworkEvidence?There is no one alive who has not felt disrespected or been treated like a slave. Not even Jesus
Sep 17, '17Quote from HorseshoeMe neither....Speak for yourself. I've never been treated like "a slave' at any of my jobs. The times I've ever been treated with disrespect have been very few. But "slave"? Nope.
Sep 17, '17Quote from AngelKissed857But, she did, until she changed it.....But she didn't- it CLEARLY says nurse2b! OP is excited about becoming a nurse in the future, and she states that in her user name.
Sep 17, '17Quote from AngelKissed857Actually it wasn't always that username, hence the ensuing dialogue that you quoted. OP changed her screen name, or rather, was asked to change her screen name by mods per the rules of the forum.But she didn't- it CLEARLY says nurse2b! OP is excited about becoming a nurse in the future, and she states that in her user name.
Sep 18, '17I worked at Cardiologist as my first job as CMA and I wasn't happy. The place was a toxic environment and it got me to have to take Kolopin because my anxiety went up. I left as soon as I could and found another job that I'm actually happier in.
You're there to learn, not get into the gossip. You aren't out of school yet, do what you're suppose to do, don't make too much issues and let them talk. Then once you're done, if you aren't happy with the environment and they want to hire you, then say no.
You'll find a good place soon, I know you will. But just keep your head down and just observe. It's easier to notice things that others don't if you.
Sep 18, '17I've only been an RN for a couple years now and feel proud to have earned the title. I think it depends on which unit you work on and I do realize every team has different dynamics. The first place I worked was not a pleasant place to be, but the second place I'm currently working has great team work and I feel respected. You will see different places and get to find a good fit, just be open to the process.
Sep 18, '17OP, someone taught me years ago to take any situation or conversation and put your thoughts through a little filter before speaking or acting:
Ask yourself: "Is what I will say, or do, going to add positively to the situation or conversation? Does it really matter?"
If not, then the odds are you don't need to say it or do it.
In my opinion restraint is a sign of maturity, though let's not forget maturity is not always functions of age. It's up to US to do better.
Some people dwell on the negative and tear things down; they become negative people, and are often not pleased in being such.
Some well meaning people are quick to attack, or rush to defend a useless or trivial argument; they become instigators.
Some people observe, listen, choose words carefully, and pursue actions that reflect sound judgment; they are the savvy individuals.
Personally, I want to be savvy. But sometimes we are all three of the above, huh? We're only human. But it IS up to us to identify and reign in our bad habits and traits.
You are at the start of a career, and what you are experiencing is a chance to choose what type of person you want to be when facing these challenges. You can rise above that nonsense, or become that nonsense. It's up to you, fight to be strong!
Best wishes!Last edit by NunNurseCat on Sep 18, '17
Sep 19, '17Quote from Nurse BethVery true. I just about hit the year mark (I had a bit of time between my first nursing job and this one). At my hospital I even made friends with the Doctor who seemed to hate everyone and especially women. He stops and chats with me if I come to chart while he is dictating and everything. I have a great time asking the doctors about pathophysiology if I get a patient with a diagnosis that is new to me or there are lab results that are odd looking.Hang in there. Give us an update once you've graduated and worked a year. You are going to meet many wonderful people.
Sep 19, '17OP, as you said yourself, you are new to nursing. You also seem to feel sufficiently invested in the pursuit of a nursing career not to abandon it lightly. Makes sense to me. Some of the responses to your post do indeed seem defensive, but the suggestion to get out of nursing is worth serious consideration. Under the best possible conditions, with reasonable assignments, supportive administrators and peers, and even with mostly polite and appreciative patients, this work is very hard, and sometimes brutal. It truly ain't for everybody, and it would be pretty miserable to realize years from now that you'd taken a wrong path. Not a total waste, necessarily--heck, I learned things working at McDonalds that I still use.
But I'm going to go on the assumption that you may indeed have it in you to be a fine nurse and are just feeling daunted by the challenges before you. That's natural--in fact, I'm only half joking when I say if you get through without feeling like quitting, you haven't gotten your tuition's worth. And I think we've all pretty much been there. And therein, I modestly suggest, is the source of much of the defensiveness in some of the replies you've seen. To those of us who last in this work, it truly isn't just a job. Or a career. Or even just a profession. Personally, I've spent the past several months fighting hard to get back into my role as a bedside nurse, and it has made me poignantly aware of what this work means to me. (When we're "touchy" about our title, that's one of the ways we demand the respect we've earned, and if you earn that title, I hope you'll do the same.)
Is there bullying in nursing? Do nurses eat their you? I was talking to one of my friends, the other morning, about how scary I thought she was when I was a newbie. Can't quote her word for word,but the gist of her reply was that scaring newbies was part of her job, and we both laughed. I take a different tack in my approach to newbs, because it's more my nature, but I don't devalue hers. Nibbling our young a little to toughen them up is a way of helping them, too.
I'm a guy. It affects my view of nursing. It affects how nursing treats me. But a thing I've noticed, and very much value, about the women in nursing is that they are strong, smart, independent, and assertive. Or, as our culture is still all-too-prone to say: ******.
In the course of becoming a competent nurse, I was helped, encouraged, taught, pushed, prodded, and (figuratively) spanked by women (and men) very like those who post on here. I owe them more than I can say. In my recent effort to get back on the right side of the bedrails, I've had help, support, encouragement, and prayer from my peers and my supervisors and been given every chance to do what none of us was sure I could. People I work for assured me that if I couldn't handle the physical challenges of bedside nursing, there were other jobs that wouldn't be so taxing. It's pretty awesome to have assurance of being able to earn a living--and contribute to the team--even if it isn't at the bedside, but I said then and still do that my eyes are on the prize, and the prize is bedside nursing. It's what I do, and to a very large degree, it's what I am.
There are two qualities that are utterly necessary to succeed as a nurse. The first, I believe, is humility. This isn't a field for big egos. We wipe peoples' butts. I can say from my own experience that wiping someone else's butt is at least 14x less humiliating that having someone else wipe yours, and I'm not remotely saying that's anywhere near all we do, but it's an important task, and if you find it degrading, you're in the wrong field.
The other necessity goes hand-in-hand with humility: honest self-appraisal. A new nurse will be told often that he or she is doing "great" or "fine" or "well." It's so nice to hear, but it doesn't help you nearly as much as you might hope. If you're unlucky, or maybe careless or inept, you may also hear that you're "hopeless" or "stupid." Neither the good feedback nor the bad is likely to be entirely true. If you graduate nursing school and pass NCLEX, you have proof in hand that you aren't stupid. Might not always translate to common sense, but it takes a healthy dose of that to get a nursing license, too. And, frankly, even the best first-year nurses are "great" in terms of first year nurses. I've seen some people who've been pretty impressive right out of the gate, but I've also watched them get stronger as they've gained experience. Not every experienced nurse is great, but every great nurse is experienced.
I've blathered here at some length. I do that. Only you can figure out if this is really something you want to do, and only time will tell whether you have the ability to do it. But you don't actually need a "gift" or a "calling" to be a good nurse. You just have to work hard at it and have an open mind. If you do decide to take this road, for the sake of you patients, for the sake of your colleagues, and most of all for your own sake, please do try to be worthy of it.
Sep 21, '17So true. I found that most disrespect I've received from patients, families or co workers was simply due to their situation. Once we had a neutral person step in and help, case management or social services involved, a lot of that cleared up and we could all get along again. I also once received a written apology from a dr that didn't "want to be bothered" with phone calls with individual patient problems/concerns.
It's ok to speak up kindly and ask questions. I try to be the person you would want to work with. It doesn't always work, but I will try harder next time.
I've been in 3 hospitals in the past 5 years and every situation has taught me something valueable. It's not always been easy or pretty. But which job is? I've flipped burgers at McDonald's and stocked shelves at Tuesday morning. It all has its problems.
I feel the profession is very well respected and am proud to be a nurse.
Sep 23, '17I see OP's point, but if you are working with the general public, be prepared to be disrespected.