What's the worst thing the workplace bully did to you? has done to you? - page 7

I worked with a so-called nurse that took every monthly note out of the eight pts charts that I had to chart on and did God knows what with them. I couldn't prove it, but she was the only nurse at... Read More

  1. by   mattsmom81
    Quote from lifeisbeautiful
    It is so strange. Nursing is suppose to be a profession of kindness, compassion, patience, understanding, and acceptance, but many Nurses have a hard time applying these when it involves their fellow coworkers. I can honestly, say I have met more mean coworkers in Nursing than any other job (not that all of my coworkers are mean to me, but I have see how they treat others).

    This is so very sad but true. Some of this behavior can be explained by oppressed abused people become oppresors and abusers themselves. These types get into a position of power and its a recipe for disaster, unfortunately.
  2. by   mattsmom81
    Quote from boulergirl
    Ain't that the truth. And it's even worse when family and friends suggest that you're doing something to provoke the bullying. :imbar
    Ya know, I think this phenom happens to kids and can be soooo devastating. My 10 yr old son who has ADHD and was also experiencing GI health problems (diarrhea, cramps gas, due to undiagnosed lactose intolerance) was being bullied in school. His teachers told me it was because he was perceived as 'weak'. When I challenged that and asked what we could do to counteract that , they had no answers for me. Now these bullies ganged up on him and physically hurt him during school, before and after and the teachers response was 'we can't be everywhere.' When my child fought back, he was punished right along with the aggressive boys who instigated the fight. It was a no win situation for my child and I ended up pulling him out and home schooling him. He STILL angrily remembers this period and it has affected his adult life.

    Kids are horrid to other kids who are 'different'. Some of these kids grow up to bully as adults cuz they got away with it as kids. Girls bully too (we've talked about this here before..the hidden culture of aggression in girls....they do it too but it is more 'sly'.) As women, we know how they operate and we see some of the worst in nursing don't we.
  3. by   cabbage patch rn
    Mattsmom81:

    Something similar happened to my son when he was only in the 1st grade. He was bullied by these 2 boys, one who had been held back the year prior so he was much bigger than my son. He would come home every single day, telling about the harrassment on the playground and how he hated to go to school anymore. I could tell that he was becoming depressed. How sad to watch. While I am more of a peaceful person, I would advise him to try to avoid these kids, or let the teacher know what was going on. I called the teacher, the PE coach to no avail. Got the same response as you, how they can't be everywhere at all times. My husband on the other hand would tell him to "bust them right in their noses" which he thought would take care of the problem. I tried to explain to him that would only get our son in trouble and make the other children look like the victim. This went on for months and then finally I got a phone call from school one day. My son snapped, decided to take his dad's advice and blacked one of the boy's eyes, the other one ran far away not wanting any part of what was being dished out. Of course, as I suspected, they punished our son and the others got away with almost a year of bullying. The best thing that came of the situation was they never bothered him again. He told me soon after when I was asking him how things were going, "Mom, they do anything I tell them to do"

    I too have been a victim of workplace bullies. I hate the word (victim) and I used it for lack of better wording. I don't think of myself as weak, and I do stand up for myself when push comes to shove. I was bullied at my last place of employment, it was a horrible experience and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. This nurse had an obvious dislike for me, right from the beginning. It didn't matter how nice I was to her, or if I stood up to her, she was on a mission. Eventually we worked opposing shifts and you would think it would be better right? No, she made it her job to go behind me and find petty things that I would do or not do and bring them to the managers attention. I loved my job but this person was making me absolutely miserable. The day before I would be scheduled for a shift I would begin to dread it. I became so depressed, almost had a nervous breakdown. I still don't know why I let her get to me the way that she did. I finally ended up quitting because it was severely interfering with my home life. I really feel for anyone that has been in this situation, and I for one can honestly say it's nothing that "we" do to encourage or illicit from the bully. We may be an easy target for them because we're nice and maybe they perceive us to be weak, but that is no excuse for this behavior to be tolerated by upper management. Their should be a zero tolerance for workplace bullying. The punishment should be equal to sexual harrassment, as bullying is harrassment in itself and the effects can wreak havoc on a person's psyche, severely hinder their job performance, and follow them into other aspects of their life.
  4. by   Quickbeam
    When you are picked out of the blue to be the target, it is hard to understand or explain. I was a new (albeit middle aged)RN when my bully chose me. She'd find reasons to cast doubts about my care, she'd steal my lunch from the breakroom, gossip about me, generally make my life miserable. I was caring for a dying child one shift and I heard her in the hall saying loudly " such a shame he didn't get better care!". I once worked a double shift and got my first break at hour 15. I was in the bathroom and she pounded on the door, yelling "we're not paying you to read magazines in there!". Our only bathroom was in a public hall so a lot of visitors heard her.

    I documented everything but found she was a darling of the administration and I was told I lacked the humor necessary to be a nurse. I quit the job and told them why. Later in a re-org she was laid off. Karma.
  5. by   tiroka03
    I have two stories. I haven't had many problems with bullies until I moved to this town.


    The first bully both works with me and attended the same church as I. I really thought she was a nice person. But, she was telling lies at church, saying I was sleeping with so and so. According to her, I slept with everyone in the church at least once or more. Then she would talk her comments to work and spread them all over again. She would corner the chaplin and the upper management. She had attended the church for 20 years and held her position for the same lenght. Because of her, I quit the church, and have had to deal with a lot of crap from my peers. Mean spirited b....

    The second was a CNA. How much trouble can one CNA make? She would call the upper management at home at 2am. Wow, you think she'd be in trouble - No. They would actually come in during the night to comfort her. She would cry I didn't like her. I didn't hardly know her. Then she developed a lust for emergenies, as she was studing this kind of stuff in her school. All of a sudden peoples NG tubes were falling out at an alarming rate, or IV's falling out, even foley caths falling out. She even cut one foley's tubing in half with a sissors. This provided great excitment for her. If we had an emergency not precepted by her, she would be such a hinderance in getting this person help. Once she even got a hold of the supervisors keys and threw them behind the refridgerator during a code. Unbelievably she is still working. Managements little love child I quesse. I have been told to be more understanding and kind to this sweet thing.
  6. by   mattsmom81
    I've reread the scenarios thr past 9 pages and cannot understand what drives people to do things like this, nor do I understand why it is tolerated by nursing management. Really burns my tushie.
  7. by   mercyteapot
    Well, it apparently all hit the fan last week (I took 3 vacation days, Wed-Fri, so I just found out about this). Officematedearest provoked a fight with our clerical assistant (which we frequently does) and he called her a "b". The supervisor who intervened tried to calm my office mate down by trying to look at what might have provoked this guy to use such a word. Office mate got so upset that she called HR on supervisor, which entailed ratting on the clerical assistant, who is now in big trouble. I don't think he will get terminated, but he will get reprimanded. I don't condone name calling, but I am here to tell you that this chick is extremely annoying, and I can certainly imagine mitigating factors on the clerical assistant's part.
  8. by   mercyteapot
    Quote from mattsmom81
    Ya know, I think this phenom happens to kids and can be soooo devastating. My 10 yr old son who has ADHD and was also experiencing GI health problems (diarrhea, cramps gas, due to undiagnosed lactose intolerance) was being bullied in school. His teachers told me it was because he was perceived as 'weak'. When I challenged that and asked what we could do to counteract that , they had no answers for me. Now these bullies ganged up on him and physically hurt him during school, before and after and the teachers response was 'we can't be everywhere.' When my child fought back, he was punished right along with the aggressive boys who instigated the fight. It was a no win situation for my child and I ended up pulling him out and home schooling him. He STILL angrily remembers this period and it has affected his adult life.

    Kids are horrid to other kids who are 'different'. Some of these kids grow up to bully as adults cuz they got away with it as kids. Girls bully too (we've talked about this here before..the hidden culture of aggression in girls....they do it too but it is more 'sly'.) As women, we know how they operate and we see some of the worst in nursing don't we.
    My son got suspended from the Boys and Girls Club afterschool program this year for socking a kid who was making fun of my son for not being good at Math. There were two of these kids and my son told them to stop making fun of him. They taunted him and imitated him saying that, and my son turned around and went to walk inside. Then one of them threw the ball and hit him in the back. That's when my son went after them. As far as I'm concerned, they got what they deserved. And they knew it, because they didn't say anything to the staff (this happened on the blacktop and no adults were around). The kid's Mom went into B&GC the next day complaining. The director called me at work and told me it had happened and what she said provoked it was the ball throwing. At this point, I didn't understand that she hadn't witnessed it. She told me it wasn't thrown hard. When I asked her why I wasn't told when I went to pick him up the day before, she said they didn't know and that the Mom had come in that morning. So I asked her how she knew how hard the ball had been thrown. She really p***ed me off. Not because my son was suspended, because there have to be consequences for fighting. But she didn't even ask for my son's version of events (and hasn't to this day!) and she said he couldn't come back until "she did an investigation" and I sat down in a meeting with her and this kid's Mom. Why should I sit down and let them villianize my son?!?!? And what kind of investigation is it that doesn't ask all parties involved for their side of the story??? My son went to the same after school program for 6 years before this and NEVER got into trouble. She actually said to me, "we want to make sure this doesn't happen to any other kids". I said "I would like to make sure my son isn't teased ever again, but there are no guarantees in life, are there?" I called the admin office and talked to the regional coordinator, who told me there was a standard three day suspension for this type of fight (one that wasn't unprovoked and where no one was hurt) and no parent meeting was required. Apparently, this director thought she'd make up the rules as she went along. I'm not even sure if she's there any more, I haven't seen her for weeks. And of course the little brat that started it all didn't get in any trouble at all. On the other hand, everyone knows that my son hit him and as far as the other kids are concerned, this kid is a rat. That is far worse punishment to a 7th grader than a 3 day suspension from B&GC (the only person who was punished was me by having to leave work early to go collect him after school! He was happy to come home.)
  9. by   GingerSue
    there's a bullying-support@yahoogroups.com with frequent posts of much interest.
    a recent entry last week was from a man who had written a book to help his own child - he invites people to contact him for a free copy of his book at youandmebullyfree@hotmail.com or to check www.youandmebullyfree.com

    see what you think.
  10. by   HarryPotter
    Quote from VickyRN
    I have seen my share, too. One small hospital was taken over by a true sociopath and the place run in the ground--had to file bankruptcy before this EVIL DON/CNO/CFO lady was run off. A lot of nurse managers or DONs refuse to acknowledge or deal with the horizontal violence which is SO pervasive in nursing. "Don't make waves" is the unspoken mantra in most health-care facilities. Unfortunately, bullying has serious effects: low morale, high turnover, and most importantly--PATIENT CARE IS COMPROMISED!!! Sometimes, the patients' very lives are at stake. My advice to you nurse managers: take bullying seriously and nip it in the bud--confront it head-on--don't just ignore it because IT WON'T GO AWAY on its own. Each health care facilty should adopt a NO TOLERANCE POLICY FOR BULLYING and enforce it!
    hi vicky. great post. thanks for all that u do and your committment for our Nursing Community and good patient care.
  11. by   tiroka03
    I am finding my self in the middle of a situation right now. I had to tell my manager about a med error a co worker did, and then lied about. Gave a large dose of insulin, then tried to cover it up. The pt began to crash big time, but forturnately I caught it. But, could have died very easily on my watch. So, I turned the numbers and times over to the manager. I didn't enjoy this. I know this particular nurse is quite loud and angry a lot. But, I really didn't have a choice. It wasn't the error that was so bad, but the lying and placing the pt in jeperdoy that made me report.

    Now this nurse is really angry at me. Know what, your posts gave me the courage to write back to my manager and tell her about this. I am asking for an apogolgy. This will practically kill that nurse if she has to do this. I won't especially care for a false aplogy, but it is the principal.

    I don't know what will happen, but I feel much better about myself thanks to you all. So, if you read this, say a prayer for my shakey knees, because being brave is hard work.
  12. by   gauge14iv
    We have a couple of nurses in our unit who bully people over things - usually dumb stuff - like calling a previous shift nurse at home to angrily inform them they hav't totaled their I/O's and they need to come back and do it - or that something wasn't done on time, stuff like that. They write up some of the stupidest stuff.

    I have found that when one of these nurses starts in on the bullying the best thing to do is call them on the carpet right there and then.

    "Are you bullying me about this?"
    "I don't need to be bullied or beaten up about this"
    "You do what you need to do, but the verbal abuse is not necessary"

    The first line usually stops them dead in their tracks and they back right down. As much as they want to appear superior, they don't want to appear to be bullies or abusers. While they may still write the "incident" up, they don't go on to beat people up verbally. Our manager is also aware how many reports these few write up each month, and thankfully she is fair and talks to both parties.
  13. by   HarryPotter
    Quote from walkmygardenpath
    I am finding my self in the middle of a situation right now. I had to tell my manager about a med error a co worker did, and then lied about. Gave a large dose of insulin, then tried to cover it up. The pt began to crash big time, but forturnately I caught it. But, could have died very easily on my watch. So, I turned the numbers and times over to the manager. I didn't enjoy this. I know this particular nurse is quite loud and angry a lot. But, I really didn't have a choice. It wasn't the error that was so bad, but the lying and placing the pt in jeperdoy that made me report.

    Now this nurse is really angry at me. Know what, your posts gave me the courage to write back to my manager and tell her about this. I am asking for an apogolgy. This will practically kill that nurse if she has to do this. I won't especially care for a false aplogy, but it is the principal.

    I don't know what will happen, but I feel much better about myself thanks to you all. So, if you read this, say a prayer for my shakey knees, because being brave is hard work.
    Hi. Thank God you had the courage to say something. I am sure that this Nurse probably has, in the past, made errors before (we all do sometimes) that she has covered up. You really did the right thing.
    Covering up errors is not ok. And, in the case, had u not been there, the pt. actually could have died!
    So, thank you again for being brave and doing the right thing. If the nurse in question gives u any trouble, u need to let your supervisor know. A good supervisor will deal with it. That is part of their jobs, so you can be free to take care of patients. Best wishes to you. I've said a prayer.

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