What's the worst thing the workplace bully did to you? has done to you? - page 4
I worked with a so-called nurse that took every monthly note out of the eight pts charts that I had to chart on and did God knows what with them. I couldn't prove it, but she was the only nurse at... Read More
Jul 12, '03That's great. At least there is an acknowledgement of the problem and a program and protocol in place for the workplace bully. Sad managers don't take this problem too seriously until something horrible happens or most of their staff quits.
Jul 12, '03Had a 326 pound patient to turn over to change her ben linen where the IV tubing had gotten disconnected. Asked the same bully for some help (along with the orderly who i'd asked first) she said she was "too busy, you all will just have to manage it yourselves" and continued readin gher newspaper. Went and got another nurse down the hall, who said "of course i'll help". This peeved the bully "you had no right asking another nurse to help with MY patient!!" (uh i had just asked YOU). The next time this patient (who had leg problems undiagnosed as of yet, and due to that and the weight issue offered little help) needed a linen change, I asked the bully ONCE AGAIN, and this time the reply was "you can handle that by yourself". No i can't . So i found the orderly that had previously helped me, and went 3 floors down to the float orderly on that floor for an extra pair of hands. Yet again i got chewed for "getting outside help". I can't win with this woman. The best thing i can do now is to learn from her behavior how NOT to be when it's my turn in her chair (so to speak). I mean if she really was busy when i'd asked, then i know better, but when Dear Abby is taking presedence over your patient with wet sheets and pads, you're making yourself look like you could care less
Jul 12, '03My worst bullying? Let me see............ It was a regional hospital that our union representative labelled "The Bullying Capital of the World" and she was right. Bullying had become a culture.
The tactics included informational power which is where information on a topic is not shared or shared in such a way as to be counter productive (A twelve hour ACLS course with over 40 articles to be read in 4 weeks! - the "reading" material alone was over 21/2 inches thick!!!)
Gatekeeping - only certain select individuals were "allowed" access to meetings. I was the trainer for workplace health and safety had to fight to be included in the meetings!!!
Resource deprivation - oh this one is a favourite!!! Will not order resources to fulfill needs despite money availability. We had bee raising moey from various projects to supposedly use to bolster our own meagre resources. My boss would not even buy new texts to support the programs we were running.
This as well as the overt verbal bullying - shifting workloads so one was overloaded and others had not enough to do.
What made it worse - It was a job I loved sooo much that I put up with it all for far far too long. Could I have done more to protect myself. My boss was an assistant director of nursing only the director and the CEO were higher in the chain of command. The director was less than helpful because her hands were tied my bosses best friend was the CEO!!!!
I could fill a book with the rubbish she subjected me to. Possibly my favourite statement, now to put it in perspective this was said to me at a tiem when my workload included co-ordinating and running a nursing re-entry program including all clinicals for students 50% of lectures and writng and marking examination papers, co-ordinating the mandatory CPR recertification for all hospital staff, runnning a program based on a goverment grant and co-ordinating and delivering a series of hosptial lectures. On top of this I had repeated requests from my colleagues to act as resource for them. I finally had enough of this and asked to be left alone for a few days to catch up and she called me on it "how dare I etc etc." I tried to explain how big my workload was and she said - now get this - "You only stay late because you have no social life" I closed my eyes for a second to marshall my thoughts and she told me off for closing my eyes in front of her!! Two days later she came into my office with a request for me to drive to a regional hospital 3 hours away to deliver some lectures. I refused and documented why.
I feel vindicated to this day because that particular incident came back to bite her in the proverbial. If she had not goaded me I would not have documented at home what had happened and because I did she was not able to retaliate later.
A couple of months go by and I am slowly learning how to stand up for myself with this woman and the biggest part of learning that was to learn how to discount her "butter woouldn't melt in her mouth" demeanor "Oh but I am only telling you this for your oen good!!" She was good!! In the meantime her freind CEO had appointed a nurse 18 months out of university as director of nursing of the rural hospital I was supposed to lecture at previously. Needless to say things went pear shaped and badly. The hospital had to be audited. I was having my usual battle of wills with my boss and this sounds so stupid but the reason we were having a battle of wills was that I had become sick and tired of trying to teach and recertify all the staff of the hosptial CPR when I was not allowed to even attend the CPR committee meetings - I wasn't despite a freedom of information act - allowed to read the minutes of those meetings!!!! I finally quit to do "no more no less than my peers" Quitting in such a way she could not touch me and until then she had used every trick in the book including "Oh but you are so good at it" to keep in doing the job.
So when things go pear shaped at the rural hosptial I get a letter from the CEO but hand delivered by my boss which started with the accusation "How dare you betray the profession of nursing!"
It went on to accuse me of overstepping bounds in teaching health care workers to do everything but major surgery.
But, thanks to my previous fight with my boss over going out to this hospital I had proof not only that I had stepped foot on the hosptial grounds for more than two years but that I had refused certification to registered nurses who had not furnished proof of competence. I fought and fought and fought slowly quietly but it took it's toll in self-confidence. I left there to move south as I could take it no more.
One of my best freinds stayed she worked there longer and 18 months later I get a phone call to say she had committed suicide. I know she had other issues but with what we went through at least one nail in Angela's coffin was put there by that woman and I will never never forgive her for the loss of such a beautiful, caring and dedicatied nurse.
The world is a poorer place.
Jul 13, '03Gwenith, I am so, so sorry about the loss of your friend.
Jul 13, '03OMG Gwenith! I am so sorry ((((hugs to you))))
Workplace bullies do not help when you are feeling down enough to commit suicide!
When I was living at home, I was having problems with my parents. It was constant fighting at home nearly every day. I mean I would come to work sobbing my eyes out. Then I would get bullied. that was only like back in April of this year, and I had wished death on myself. I was never going to commit suicide, but I had told co-workers that I didn't want to live anymore.
Jul 13, '03Thank-you both
Angela is one of the reasons I am so active in supporting bullied colleagues. I can't help her anymore but I can help others in her name.
Jul 13, '03I really appriciate people like you Gewnith. I am so sick of hearing, "Amanda, you don't stand up for yourself, thats why you are bullied, so get over it." Maybe I don't stand up for myself, because I know that if I start saying stuff, I might say something that I might regret, and I don't want to look like the bully. Keep on helping others in her name, she is probably looking down from heaven now, smiling at your good deeds.
Jul 13, '03OMG! LPN2Be that b*tch sounds so stupid. I have run into that problem with my bully. We were short handed one day I could not find an aide anywhere, they were all giving showers or busy with another patient. It was a hot summer day, and a family member of a resident asked me if I would help get her out of the car to come back to the nursing home. It was really hot out, and the patient was complaining about the horrible heat. All I could find was my bully. I told her the situation, and that I could not find another aide. She replied to me with "No, that is a CNA's job." It took me about 15 minutes to find another aide that was free. Most of the nuses in my unit would be more than happy to help with that. Can we get some R E S P E C T!
Jul 13, '03Years ago, when I worked on the east coast, it seems that the whole staff were bullies! I was from the midwest and had a BSN, the rest were grads of the hospital's own diploma program. From the head nurse on down, I took sh**. If anyone needed to float, it was always my turn. Once they tried to float me to the MICU to do charge (I was a new grad and had never worked in ICU) and I refused. The head nurse threatened to fire me, but I told her I'd rather lose my job than my license. When I had cervical cancer and needed to visit my oncologist who was only available to folks with my HMO on Tuesdays, I was told I couldn't get a Tuesday off unless I found my own replacement. (I should have called in sick!) I couldn't quit because this was pre-COBRA, and I needed my health insurance! Luckily, when I had surgery they were able to get all the cancer and I didn't need chemo, so was able to quit after a two years in that hellhole! It's a very respected tertiary hospital, too!
More recently, I fell in love with and married a nurse I worked with in the ICU. Hubby had dated a lot of women before me, including the Assistant Nurse Manager, and although he and I didn't start dating until five years or so after their affair, Sue still harbored a grudge. She used to make life hell for me with the schedule, assignments, everything. Once (on June 30) she shoved me across the room and into the patient's bedside table. The only witness was the surgical fellow who left the next day to take another job. I wrote her up anyway, but there were no witnesses, so it was her word against mine. Although my bruises could have spoken volumes!
When Hubby and I got married, we took three weeks off -- the last two weeks of the current schedule and the first week of the new one. We were leaving on a Sunday, and the new schedule was coming out officially on Monday morning. We came in on Sunday afternoon, and one of the other Asst. Mgrs let us both look at the new schedule so we'd know when we had to be back to work. All was well -- our vacation was scheduled as planned.
After we left, Sue came in and changed the new schedule, so we were both scheduled to work starting the first week of the schedule. When we came back to work as planned, we both faced reprimands for missing an entire week of work. Since our unit didn't issue copies of vacation requests with granted/denied on them, we had no paperwork to back us up . . . just our memories of what the schedule looked like before we left to get married. I think the nurse manager must have believed our side of the story at least a little bit, because we're both still working there, and Sue has unaccountably decided that she likes me now. Go figure!
Jul 13, '03Well, many nurses are catty backstabbers. My guess it's the ones who really really hate themselves that make their coworkers miserable with their immature antics. To put all that energy into hurting or jeopardizing another's job is true mental illness.
Nurses, for what they go through in their jobs, should undergo annual psychological counseling and it should be mandatory to go to motivation/ support groups.
I feel sorry for all of you who have experienced what you have on these postings, but I would simply tell them to go F---- themselves.
Jul 13, '03I am so sorry for the pain you have endured at the hand of other nurses. There is true evil in this world. Don't you sometimes wonder why a person bullies? Power? Jealousy? Don't you think at some point they will get their own? I have somehow been able to avoid bullies, but know they exist. Some people were just out to make sure I failed. I confronted them. They, of course, denied it. That's when I was able to do the old trick of, "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."
Jul 13, '03I have been told dozens of stories but will only tell the one I actually saw.
A charge nurse distrusts new staffs ability. That makes some sense, but she is rude in subtle ways to all new nurses.
The first time I floated to her telemetry unit the monitor observer had called in sick. Although I had my ACLS & CCRN cards she called the nursing supervisor to bring a copy of the results of the arryhmia test I had passed a decade before.
Other staff were C/O being too cold so another nurseturned the thermostat up. She came into the station (wearing a thick sweater) and turned it all the way down muttering, "Why did someone turn the heat up?"
I said, "I guess someone was cold, they are not wearing sweaters."
She spun around and got about an inch from my face to yell,"I WAS NOT TALKING TO YOU."
As call lights wen on because she han awakened patients I just looked around to see there was no one else in the station!
PS: She and I became good friends later and remain so today.
She transferred to the unit where I am usually in charge. When I precept new employees I tell them what a good nurse she is and warn them not to take her actions personally because all new people are treated that way by her. Once she finds out you are competent and willing to work she is fine.
Jul 17, '03WOW.....your stories are veeeeeeery scary. I've had run in's with an RN that works nights a few times, but after the first few, I wouldn't back down. I thought......NO WAY......you are not going to intimidate me. She has managed to intimidate other aides, and they have actually quit. We've gone to the manager, but nothing ever happens. I guess they're the people that got away with bullying in school and just never quite grew out of it. It's a shame that adults have to act that way.