What's the truth?

  1. i was reading the toxic employees thread. then thought about how many threads on here about a) unfair treatment from nursing professors b) from managers c) other staff.

    it had me wondering once again. i'm quite sure a lot of those complaining have valid complaints. but what if they are the ones with the problem and just not recognizing it?
    we only hear one side of the story after all.

    we had a nurse get fired recently who had just come off orientation. she wasn't a new nurse and staff and pt's complained. she was just awful and didn't even try to get along with anyone.
    i bet she could come on here, write a post, and make it seem like she's the best nurse ever and that it was all the fault of the evil co. , managers, and coworkers.

    i think people really need to look at their own behaviors .



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  2. 8 Comments

  3. by   fultzymom
    I was thinking the same thing when I was reading a thread from a nursing student the other day. Especially since when offering her story they told the part she was upset about but said that there was other things but would not bore us with those details. So you know that there was more to the story that probably would have explained and made us see the other side that they did not want us to know about.
  4. by   llg
    I couldn't agree more. That's why many of us here on allnurses take some of those stories that say, "Everybody has been mean to me and I am totally perfect" with a big grain of salt.

    Too many people don't think critically about those posts. They just take what the OP says at face value. Learning to assess a situation more deeply and in a more sophisticated manner is one of the hallmarks of mature critical thinking. Unfortunately, not everybody has the ability or inclination to think critically. Maybe they will be a little more inclined to do so after reading this thread.
  5. by   tencat
    Hmmm......It really doesn't matter whether or not the posts are 'true', at least it 's not one of my concerns when I read them. The person who posts them is looking for support, not judgement. I think people who respond to the posts do a good job of tactfully pointing out to said posters that there are other sides to the story. It's really irrelevant as to whether or not it's all the 'truth'.

    Some people would say that being very judgemental is a 'behavior' that might need some looking at.......JHMO
  6. by   nursemike
    You may well be right, but I prefer to take what people say at face value. I generally take this approach at work, too--if someone wants to vent, I listen and nod sympathetically. If they ask for advice, I give it. I do try--especially with co-workers--to avoid the temptation to make others problems my problems. That is, I judge my workplace and my profession by my own experiences, which have been pretty good on the whole and occassionally pretty great. If someone on these boards says nurses eat their young, I say I'm sorry for their bad experience. I don't say they're right, because I have personally been helped, encouraged, and nurtured by the more experienced nurses I work with. (On the other hand, I've seen these very same nurses become impatient and even dismissive of other newbies--rarely--and given that, I feel able to make suggestions to newbies having a tough time fitting in.) Similarly, I've seen guys post about being discriminated against. Hasn't been my experience, at all, and I have seen guys who were just looking for excuses to feel discrimanted against, but as far as I know, the ones who post here have legitimate greivances.

    I think it's similar, in principle, to occassions when an experienced nurse who is getting a bit toasty around the edges comes on to vent about a PITA, and others deplore their lack of compassion. After all my months of experience, I have finally come to understand that there are moments when simply withholding "pillow therapy" is, in itself, the height of compassion. (Just kidding, of course--but there surely are times when one needs a break to rant before going back into the room with a smile.)
    We do see a fair amount of whining on these boards, and some of it probably is unjustified. But we are under no obligation to reply to every thread. Sometimes it may be better just to mutter, "yeah, right." in a sarcastic tone and move on.
    Not that I am in any way meaning to discount the OP's experience.
  7. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from llg
    i couldn't agree more. that's why many of us here on allnurses take some of those stories that say, "everybody has been mean to me and i am totally perfect" with a big grain of salt.

    too many people don't think critically about those posts. they just take what the op says at face value. learning to assess a situation more deeply and in a more sophisticated manner is one of the hallmarks of mature critical thinking. unfortunately, not everybody has the ability or inclination to think critically. maybe they will be a little more inclined to do so after reading this thread.
    and a lot of folks will judge you for attempting to think critically about what another poster chooses to post. i'm with you, though. i tend to take those posts with a grain of salt. i don't think we here on allnurses do those folks any favors by assuring them that they are totally in the right and everyone else is being mean to them. i think the greater kindness is to give them some real feedback so that perhaps they can adjust their attitude and have more success in the working world. they're going to have failure after failure until it sinks in to them that they aren't perfect and that everyone else isn't always wrong!
  8. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from tencat
    hmmm......it really doesn't matter whether or not the posts are 'true', at least it 's not one of my concerns when i read them. the person who posts them is looking for support, not judgement. i think people who respond to the posts do a good job of tactfully pointing out to said posters that there are other sides to the story. it's really irrelevant as to whether or not it's all the 'truth'.

    some people would say that being very judgemental is a 'behavior' that might need some looking at.......jhmo
    you know, i feel sorry for those folks who post that they're always perfect and everyone around them is being mean to them. they're obviously missing a lot of what is going on around them! they're going to fail at job after job after job until they "get it." even if they manage to stay employed, they're not going to be happy, nor is anyone around them. i don't think we are doing them any favors by being "supportive" and "not judging them." maybe if we can get them to look at the situation just a bit differently, they'll have an "aha!" moment and be able to adjust their thinking and their behavior. then they can truly be successful.

    wouldn't you want someone to tell you if you were screwing up over and over instead of just assuring you that you're perfect and everyone else is wrong?
  9. by   TazziRN
    The ones who have problems with "everyone" and is being persecuted by the aforementioned "everyone" are probably the ones with the problems, but most of the posts here target one or two specific people or one specific unit/facility. If I were to have problems with one unit or even the entire facility, but I don't have that problem somewhere else, then it probably isn't me.

    I take each post at face value until something doesn't make sense.
  10. by   Cattitude
    Quote from tencat
    hmmm......it really doesn't matter whether or not the posts are 'true', at least it 's not one of my concerns when i read them. the person who posts them is looking for support, not judgement. i think people who respond to the posts do a good job of tactfully pointing out to said posters that there are other sides to the story. it's really irrelevant as to whether or not it's all the 'truth'.

    some people would say that being very judgemental is a 'behavior' that might need some looking at.......jhmo
    well, i really don't feel that i am being judgemental. as ruby vee states in another post, how is it doing anyone any favors by just being supportive? if you noticed, i prefaced my post with first staing i thought of this topic when reading about toxic employees.
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    [color=#483d8b]so obviously i am not talking about the poor souls who really are having a hard time of it with some psycho boss or nursing professor.
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    [color=#483d8b]i'm talking about people that have issues. yet blame everyone else. the ones that really don't see that their behaviors may have a huge role in all the negative things happeneing in their life. people that have repetitive occurences, multiple jobs in short times. students who have personality conflicts with more than one professor.
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    [color=#483d8b]i'm not a meanie, really. i've actually been the supportive one at a place where another nurse was being given a hard time.
    [color=#483d8b]

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