What shall I do? - page 3

I got yelled at by a Doc for the first time this past week. Here is what happened. We were just out of report and I was headed down the hall to assess patients. Went past a room and the aid told... Read More

  1. by   l.rae
    Originally posted by WashYaHands
    I think if I were in this situation, although I'm not a male, I'd write an incident report. "Damn male nurses" is a sexist comment and this doctor needs to know it won't be tolerated. If she keeps making these comments, keep writing her up until she realizes she's out of line.

    Linda
    l would definately write her up for sexual harassment AND gender based discrimination.......DO IT....please!...use her own words and quotes.....good luck...let us know what happens....LR
  2. by   mario_ragucci
    Male nurses and female drivers...(chuckle)

    You really ought to not ditty-bop into any PT room. I knock and pause a quarter of a second, even if they are expecting me. If I hafta be quick, like if there are a ga-zillion other PT needs going, I will always at least announce my pressence and look out the window until I notice the patient notices me, then I smile.
    You don't want to get into a turf battle/war with a doctor.
    I'd be crushed if a female doctor told me to leave my patient. I can only count on one hand the number of doctors I have actually successfully made eye contact with. Doctors and non-caregivers usually travel in white packs, and don't spend the time nurses/cnas do with patients (reality). This doctor may have been trying to establish sex commorodery at your death, and perhaps wanted to swoop down and make a kill, in plain sight of the PT, for drama some people feed on. Like some nurses [I heard] do to their young.
    Allow yourself some days to get over this, and just grow from it.
    sincerely
    mario
  3. by   sjoe
    1) write her up
    2) file a gender discrimination complaint against the doc
    3) question this business about a patient deciding what gender he/she wants as a nurse. do patients in your hospital also dictate the gender of their docs? of their pharmacists? of their aides?--all this is gender discrimination, and if your hospital supports it, they are discriminating as well.
  4. by   mattsmom81
    OK, we can catch more flies with honey....

    Talk to the doc honestly, tell her you were wrong not to knock (you were) and you made a mistake. Then bring up the 'damn male nurse' comment...and how disappointed you were to hear her say that...end with you hope you can work together in harmony from now on, and if she ever has a concern with you you hope she will discuss it directly with you from now on, not with your coworkers or the patients. (Now, the docs in my area always knock before entering a room, and we nurses do as well...maybe it's a southern thing)

    Now, I love all the bravado here...and I hate verbal abuse..but as far as writing up a doc for something like this, it's a real crapshoot. Management usually caters to the docs (and patients) You say you've only gotten lukewarm support from some of your managers...why risk it?!

    Choose your battles. A similar 'male nurse discrimination' situation...also in OB... was just out on another thread too.

    All I can say is, male nurses: forewarned is forearmed. You would be wise to be extremely cautious around your female patients and their modesty issues....

    Good luck DayRay.
  5. by   teeituptom
    Howdy yall
    from deep in the heat of texas


    A long time ago I learned that things said were not necessarily meant, but came out in the heat of the moment. I have. like a duck letting water roll of its back, learned to do the same. Or you can call it selective hearing, Learned that well raising kids. But if you dont acknowledge it then it doesnt affect you. I choose not to let certain people affect me in this world. And I am much happier and my golf swing is better.



    doo wah ditty
  6. by   CATHYW
    DayRay, I am late getting to this thread. I hope you have already completed an incident report. This Dr. sounds like one of the ones we have here, that I used to see fairly regularly. Her nickname was "the Ice Queen." She didn't draw the line-she was rude to all of us, male and female, but her patients LOVED her!

    As a suggestion to prevent future occurrences, should your hands be full, or if there really isn't a door (say there is a drawn curtain), you can politely say loud enough to be heard, "knock, knock, it's me, (or, your nurse, or DayRay, or whatever) to acknowledge their right to privacy, and your right to be there and do your job.

    Watch out for this Dr. Any time you have one of her patients, be sure that your charting and everything is up to date, and that you carry out her orders to the T. She is not the kind of person that you want to have to report a complication, missed order, wrong test, test not done on time, or med order to! Since she has already reported you once, she won't have any problem doing it twice. Don't give her the opportunity.
  7. by   LasVegasRN
    Originally posted by nursegoodguy
    ....In the future if my hands were full I'd just say 'knock knock"..
    I'm sorry, this made me

    Giuseppe, I'd love to work with you! :chuckle
  8. by   Youda
    I had to smile at your concern that the other doctors might protect her, and you making waves might come back to you in worse ways. The chances are excellent that this doctor treats everyone like this at one time or another . . . including the other doctors. If you're uncomfortable with writing her up, think of a retort to use the next time she does it (and she will). You have to stand up for yourself, though, because if you don't the behavior will continue and esculate. But, sometimes a few well-chosen words takes care of the problem, too. Personally, I think I would have waited outside the door for her to come out, and told her that her behavior was inappropriate then. Perhaps a less formal complaint such as just a chat with your nurse manager over coffee would help. The NM might just be able to put a bug in the "higher ups" ears. But, I suspect they already know about this particular doctor's behavior.
  9. by   Dr. Kate
    Can we spell "hostile workplace"
    Write it up. Risk Management, Medical Staff, HR. Write it up now, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
    If you feel compelled to talk with this person, be sure you have a witness with you. Write up the conversation. If you're in a union facility, take it to them as well. A stweard will be glad to accompany you for any and all conversations on the matter.
    It sounds like you have a supportive manager. But you do not have to tolerate abuse. And placating your feelings is not enough. Doctors have to get the message that they are part of the nursing shortage problem.

    As we said in teh 60s: If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
  10. by   mattsmom81
    I hear what you're saying Dr. Kate. But the reality is nurses work in hostile workplaces every day...at least in my area.

    Yes, we can write docs up. I have done so ....there are often some negative consequences so be aware of that.....

    The only time I have seen nurses 'win' and really positively effect the behavior of a nasty abusive doc is:

    1) deal with them face to face and find common ground. You can have a witness with you....choose a highly respected nurse. I always start here ... 8 out of 10 times I see SOME positive results.

    2) do a 'group write up' with as many staff members you can documenting incidents of bad behavior of this doc. Numbers count....as if it's just one complaining, it's easy to railroad that 'one'.

    Docs CAN act very childishly and vindictively when they are written up...and nurses can come out losers unless they have a lot of support and witnesses to help them.

    I hope to see things changing soon re: abusive, hostile environments in the hospital. I'm glad to see policies springing up and hotlines for reporting of incidents at some facilities. Has anyone seen positive results from these?

    In my agency travels over the past 15 years 'doc abuse with the NURSE blamed' seems to be a common problem ...in my metro area anyway.
  11. by   mark_LD_RN
    i would report her by all means! that was very unprofessional on her part. that is my one weak spot is being treated disrespectful by another supposed professional. I had a doctor throw a chart at me once. he was lucky there were several nurses around to keep me away from him. it worked out pretty well i reported him and my coworkers supported me. I insisted he appologize in writing and in front of everyone present or i would get a lawyer. he did it and we never had another problem out of him.

    well good luck with your dilemma let us know how it goes.
  12. by   soundsLikesirens
    i would never enter a patient's room unannounced. even if your hands are full (and they usually are), you still have a mouth. i always announce when i am entering a room. just walking in with no explanation can startle the patients.....sounds like that's what happened with the doctor. you probably startled her.
  13. by   kellyseye
    NUP, i wouldnt waste my time dragging her aside for a little chit chat .... i wouldnt waste my breath on the pathetic person ... ppl like her wouldnt give you the time of day anyway ... sheer arrogance .... personally , i think your best bet is to write the cow up ..... she will learn soon enough that ppl will not tolerate her crap .....

    mm in the meantime ... id be inclined to give the evil eye n just be plain obnoxious back ..... this tho ... is me!! ..... probably shouldnt even bother with that as it is rather petty and would have no impact anyway as she sounds so into herself and so full of her own importance ... ciao

close