what is my problem?

  1. Ok, I am new to this so I hope this is not to long and rambling. Been an LPN for 3 .5yrs now Always worked nights. First place I worked I loved the pt's, the work and the co workers but management not supportive and poor staffing levels Feared for license quit after 2yrs. Now Love the job love my pt's staffing levels are awsome and management actually comes when you need them and support you all the way. Even after hearing that noone was getting a good eval and noone got raises my eval went great and i did get a raise. Noone but management and me know that. Anyway I do love things here but my problems are with coworkers I get along on the surface with all of them but they really bug me have yet to find one to trust and who doesnt nit pic at everyone at every opportunity. Really kind of scary what the other nurses ideas are for sticking together. Just odd feel to the whole thing Dont know what to do Thanks for letting me try this
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  2. 21 Comments

  3. by   Love-A-Nurse
    first, let me say welcome to the board and happy holidays!

    personally, i don't see where you have a problem with your present job since you said things are much better than your last with management and safety.

    you said you get along on the surface with your co-worker. as long as you have a rapport with them to give good care to your patients, making friends isn't the reason you are there.

    remember, there are jobs where the work atmosphere is better than others, but the perfect job, i don't think exsit, there will always be something.

    search you and if you find you are not the problem, be polite to your co-workers and as long as they are communicating regarding the patients and not harming them, doing their work, let the little things go.


    i do wish you all the best.
  4. by   mattsmom81
    We sometimes long to have close friends on the job but we have to realize this may not happen. A pleasant working relationship is the best we can hope for today, really.

    Be content to have a 'surface' friendship and watch your back with these folks if they are the type to nitpick and backtalk. Just do your job and smile and be friendly...but not too friendly...that's my advice. Your intuition is already telling you this from your post so I will validate it.

    I doubt any of this has anything to do with a failing on your part...it's just the personalities and politics of the place you work.

    Good luck!
  5. by   jacolaur
    Over the years I have come to realize it is much better to be friendly toward everyone and not best friends with anyone at work..I am not anti social as I do have many friends outside the workplace...it seems though that when co-workers get too personally involved "clashes" begin...then friends siding with one another against someone or some group... a problem arises then you have major parting of the sides taking place...makes for an uncomfortable workplace. The shift becomes a social battlefield and ceases to be a civil environment with co-workers being helpful to one another and patient care suffering for the whole mess. This person said this or that about so and so, so she can just do it herself...etc etc etc...I personally have no time or patience for such nonsense we all work to hard and too many long hours to add this mess to the day...keep friendly but don't worry about trying to make everyone your best friend there.
  6. by   2banurse
    Originally posted by jacolaur
    Over the years I have come to realize it is much better to be friendly toward everyone and not best friends with anyone at work..I am not anti social as I do have many friends outside the workplace...it seems though that when co-workers get too personally involved "clashes" begin...then friends siding with one another against someone or some group... a problem arises then you have major parting of the sides taking place...makes for an uncomfortable workplace. The shift becomes a social battlefield and ceases to be a civil environment with co-workers being helpful to one another and patient care suffering for the whole mess. This person said this or that about so and so, so she can just do it herself...etc etc etc...I personally have no time or patience for such nonsense we all work to hard and too many long hours to add this mess to the day...keep friendly but don't worry about trying to make everyone your best friend there.
    GREAT ADVICE! I was just sent to reply when I got disconnected and jacolaur posted...

    Kris
  7. by   hoolahan
    Take it from someone who is a Nursing Gypsy, someone who changes her job in a hear beat. I agree w others above, I have finally figured out there is no perfect job. You can never pick your co-workers, and I also agree it is bst to just get along while at work, and keep your real friends outside of work. I am famous for giving the speech, "I am not here t make friends or have a social hour, I am here to work. If we can make that pleasant along the way, so much the better, but I am unconcerned if you like me or not."
    I would say stay where you are, you must be the only person I have heard of getting a raise this year. If it makes anyone feel better, I am convinced management is being told not to give good evals so raises won't be given, told by the higher-ups, as a cheesy money-savng move so they can all continue to make the Mercedes payments!

    Moral of the story? These is no Nursing Utopia...it is just an elusive dream.

    (Hhhmm, maybe I should change my name to cynical nurse??)
  8. by   micro
    hi, my pseudo name is micro, and I am a cynical nurse........

    hoolihan.....
    you are way cool.........

    and to angel bear.......
    welcome
    nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
    gotta agree with what has been said.....
    sounds like you are a breath of fresh air to where you currently work.........privately enjoy that you have been recognized in the form of a raise.......etc.........
    getting along with coworkers at work is absolutely necessary.....and detrimental, let alone negates teamwork and therefore decreases good patient care.......
    but unless a miracle happens.....usually close friendships do not happen at work, and I have begun to learn the 'hard way' at times.....that that is usually for the better.........

    enjoy your job, when you can.....
    ho, ho, ho, and all that deck the halls.......

    micro
  9. by   c.wicks
    This is good advice for "allnurses" to take to heart when entering a new workplace. Most of us are lucky if we establish and maintain one true friendship that provides us with unconditional support and trust in our lifetime. Always remember why you became a nurse in the first place. Here lies our greatest source of satisfaction in the workplace.
  10. by   Anagray
    Angelbear, sounds like you are doing what you are suppose to do. Like everyone said in previous posts - u are not there to make friends.
    My personality is kind of wierd - I'm nice and respectful, but I do not make friends easily. At first it bothered me not to be a part of the bunch, but then I saw how benefitial it is to maintain professional relationship with co-workers - noone knows my business, unless I choose to talk about it; noone feels comfortable enough to take advantage of me, because I am a sucker and rarely say "no"; noone can cause any problems for me because people do not come to me to "talk" about other people, because I don't know anyone that well.

    The only 2 people I got sort of close with is a guy from Pakistan ( I am also a foreigner in US) and a gay woman, who feels comfortable talking to me about her dates and her kids.

    As far as you getting a good evaluation - you deserve it and u shouldn't feel bad about it. Keep up the good work
  11. by   Pretzlgl
    Ok, can I just say let's all go work together somewhere. I feel the same as all of you - if I can be friendly with someone at work, great. But I don't seek out personal relationships. I have found out too often that they will watch their own backs and throw you to the wolves in a heart beat. I am there to do my job. If your management knows you are a good nurse and values you, then don't worry what your coworkers think or say behind your back. Management won't believe them anyway.
  12. by   ohbet
    Abit off the topic but not totally,I just wanted to make a comment about personallity clashes, ego wars, back biting, gossip ,slanders, taking sides etc. ,all that unpleasant stuff takes place,thats why I like to float now,cause I dont stay in one place to long and this prevents me from being brought down and involved in all the extra unpleasnantness,that really has NOTHING to do with patients. peace
  13. by   night owl
    We had it so bad with the clashes on one unit and on one shift at my facility that the whole unit was moved to another building and split between two floors. There is alot more peace there now. Seems that one nurse made life miserable with everyone she worked with, but it wasn't her fault. They didn't like her because...she did her job and did it well and expected everyone else to come to work and do their jobs. She was all for the pt and had that "I'm here to work and I don't care if you like me or not attitude." Everyone else wanted to do what they wanted and didn't care about the pts or her. She stayed awake at night and answered call bells, they wanted to wrap up in blankets and go to sleep. No matter what she did or asked of them, they'd work right against her. She reported them many times and management just never followed up on anything. Because she complained all the time of the ne'r-do-wells, she got her proficiency lowered and she was always a top notch nurse. She does alot of OT's to help them out and the DON had the nerve to write her up for wearing sneakers. EVERYONE wears sneakers! In the end the one who does the right thing gets the book thrown at them. She now works on a unit where everyone "does their job and everyone gets along" and that's all you have to do.
  14. by   renerian
    Won't always have good friends at work. That is okay. Your there to work not make friends. So if you like it try to ignore the other. I know it is easier said than done.

    welcome,

    renerian

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