What if I really said that???

  1. Hadda call the Doc at 3 am for a patient who was tachy with A-flutter but was previously at a normal HR.

    Guess what the Doc said?

    "First off, I want to ask you why you waited until 3 am to call me about this?"

    What I said (through clenched teeth): "Frankly, Dr., I didn't wait. His HR was normal a couple hours ago and has just gone from the 80's to 120-140's within the past half hour while he is at rest. I thought you might like to do something about that."

    What I WANTED to say?

    "Because I love to wake Docs up in the middle of the night. It gives me a feeling of power."

    Or, "YOU ARE ON CALL, which means you are AT WORK. Can I sleep on my job? No? Neither should you." :stone

    So here's the question: What are some of the things you have WANTED to say to Docs, pts, relatives, coworkers--whether or not you actually said it?
    •  
  2. 30 Comments

  3. by   l.rae
    you're a ******* idiot........l don't know cause l left my magic 8 ball at home....ice chips are not a priority.......l don't give a crap..........it's not my fault you have small penis syndrome......this is not mcdonald's........do you want fries with that?........who stands beside you and tell you..breath in and out?....here comes the mensa society(referring to residents)......you have a booger in your nose(to the screaming md).....tell me how you really feel........:d
    Last edit by l.rae on Jun 2, '02
  4. by   oramar
    sometimes I think we should have a Forum dedicated to MDs
  5. by   dawngloves
    I have said to doctors like that, "Med school was your choice, not mine. You can sleep all you want when you have a private practice and a 6 figure income!"
  6. by   KaraLea
    There was a doc where I used to work who would hang up on the nurses when we called him at night. Till the night that our ADON was working the floor and just called him right back and said "I'm just going to keep calling till you deal with this so you might as well get it over with now". Yes, she really said that to the doc.
  7. by   RNinICU
    To the docs who make rounds at 0700:Why do you all swarm in here like insects at change of shift?
    To the moron floating a PA catheter: It's called a sterile procedure!
    To the family members who call and say " Don't put me on hold, I'm calling long distance." "It's 10 cents a minute! Isn't your Mom worth ten cents?"
    To the docs who stand outside the unit doors and block them while they gossip: "Another meeting of the mindless."
    To the visitors who want me to get them coffee; "Does this look like Mel's Diner? Do I look like a waitress."
    To the doc who thinks I should know what his poorly written orders say: "I can't read your mind, I can't see anything that small."

    We had one doc who was always bragging about the size of his penis. One day I finally told him that I had heard it takes him two hands to go to the bathroom, one to hold the magnifying glass, and one for the tweezers. He never mentioned his penis again.
  8. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Overheard a colleague who just had had enuf of a REAL NASTY doctor berating her over the phone......

    "Ok Dr. J------ You are right, I am wrong... whatever....NOW CAN WE GO ON FROM HERE ALREADY?????"

    never again, was she bugged by this particular dr. over the phone or in person. Power to the nurse who takes that sort of situation into her hands and says" enuf" in such a succinct way!
  9. by   hoolahan
    It's not what we said, but what we did. Our surgical resident's on-call room was just off our unit, between beds 13 and 14. There was a sink by the door, with one of those papertowel dispensers that has the handle you pump up and down to get the paper out. Well, this particular dispenser was very loud....so... if doctor superior pi$$ed us off, everyone washed their hands at THAT sink, all night long, repeatedly, needing LOTS of paper towels. Not to mention, instead of making rounds and asking other nurses if they needed to speak to the doc, we simply filed in one by one to knock on the door, spaced about 15 minutes apart.

    Mwahahahahahaha
  10. by   sharann
    "Get it yourself" (to any lazy staff or doc)
    "Call yourself, those fingers don't look broken"(to any surgeoun)
    "Can you scream a bit louder, the people 5 blocks away can't hear you" (to surgeons, mainly neuro and ortho)

    My favorite is when they come 2 hours lat, daelay the procedure, then scream they want to start NOW. I want to say, "fine, go hurry and fetch the patient, start their IV, and explain to the worried family why you are late!"

    Funny, I was about to start a thread like this last night, swear it, but I was too tired!
    Glad you did.
  11. by   RNforLongTime
    Do I have "abuse me" written across my forhead?

    Do I look like a waitress?
  12. by   kaycee
    Get the F$#k out of my ER!!!!!
  13. by   sharann
    Originally posted by kaknurse
    Do I have "abuse me" written across my forhead?

    Do I look like a waitress?
    I love those!
  14. by   micro
    yes, docs they can be the "most precious things", although i have a seen a swing to more civility in my tenure in nursing

    i will always remember very early on in my nursing career, third shift.......another new nurse was getting slammed emotionally by the doc on the other end of the phone......."she" was in tears.....i grabbed the phone from her, listened to the doc tirade until "he" ran out of steam.......and said now that you are finished, unless you want to continue.........

    this is what is occuring with the patient, what would you like to order.........

    this doc never gave me a lick of trouble..............

    Last edit by micro on Jun 3, '02

close