What is the dumbest order you ever read?

My all-time favorite was printed on the MAR at an LTC, for a 97-yo woman:

"Mammogram q month"

of course, that was supposed to read "HEMOgram q month"--Dr. corrected it when we asked him if that is what he really ordered

This wasn't an order, but on a health history we received from another hospital "Pt has 80 children, all of whom present with the pt today." Um....oww? It was supposed to be 8, but could you imagine that doctor's office with 83 people in it? Had to laugh...

Read an H & P on a lady that said she was S/P hysto, choley appy and TURP. ?????

I'd like to see that xray...

Then there was the ER admit that was admitted "FUO"......H & P read "Presents afebrile".... 'Course this pt had pneumonia and DID have a fever but was there any order for Tylenol???? nooooooooo

I was reading a pt hx the other day and the MD put in the health hx that pt smoked 2-3 CARTONS of cigaretts a day. Now I don't know about you but what a mental picture it gave me. How did this person do it?? Smoked 10 ciggies at a time?? Just cracked me up, still makes me chuckle at the thought, my friends tell me that I am easy to amuse ! Secrete to happiness in life, let stupid things amuse you !

A u/a on an anuric renal pt......

Two orders come immediately to mind. LOL
Condom catheter on pt who had had his penis removed for a cancer. Ice to area for 24 years to a one year old who had had a circumcision.

Have you ever dealt with an Amish family? Some of them have 15 kids and they do all show up at once to visit! Of course with all the grandchildren. There have been obits in are local paper that says the deceased have 140 something grandchildren!! 15 children, I would have to be locked up permanently. (Or my husband would be ).

Two orders come to mind (both written by the same brilliant genius at that).

1. Put soap in soap dispenser in pt bathroom.

and the other, written about a week later...

2. Transfer pt to post-partum room with a window.


My favorite co-worker at that hospital had both patients. For the first order she charted soap dispenser in pt bathroom 3/4 full and in working order as it was when this nurse washed her hands at pt's sink @XXXXhrs. (The time she washed her hands was about 30 minutes before Dr. Brilliant wrote the order and the time she charted the entry in the computer was 2 minutes after the order was written.)

When she received the pt for which the second order was written she charted that the pt was transferred to rm 3638 with the sun shining brightly through the windows.

BTW, all of the the post-partum rooms at that hospital had windows.

Tylenol 650mg IV q4h prn