What is the dumbest order you ever read?

Inderal 20 mg IV now and q8h--and the pharmacy sent it!--20 1 mg amps!--so I talked with them, too, since I had a bunch of new graduates on the night shift then; most would ask, some not sure about.
On a patient in complete heart block with some PVC's, HR in the 20's and 30's: Lidocaine 100 mg IV bolus, then 4/mg/min drip.
Morphine 100 mg IVP now.
Then it seems like everyone's called a tired resident for a patient with chest pain and got orders to insert a foley.
Champagne slurry 20cc q4h NGT--clamp for 1h after giving. Order was supposed to be Carafate slurry, but the patient got champagne all night long with no c/o anything all night! (Nope, I wasn't the nurse!)

"start heplock IV wipe site first with alcohol" A resident wrote that order in all sincerity and she meant it just like that. Gee what am I gonna use? maybe feces? We call her cockroach cuz her last name sounds similar.

Dave

Tshores,

How did they get the champagne ????????

The only alcohol in my hospital that I know of is really cheap beer, ETOH gtt, and godawful medicinal whiskey.

Whenever we have the occasional order for beer or whatever like that, pharmacy goes out and buys it--and they did! We laughed at the time he wrote the order, but laughed even harder later when we found out what he meant to order.

Carol, that was my first reaction too! As if I'm going to waste good champagne pouring it down an NGT!

a leeetle beet for yooo..and a leeetle beet more for meeee...

Yeah, well, we DID consider those options....
Don't know if it was GOOD champagne or not...

Boy, working with residents I see a lot, but lord knows I can't remember them now. The only one that sticks out in my mind is and is still my favorite is "pacifier to bedside" for an infant. YIKES!

My very favorite was by one of our ER drs that saved ALL his charts from his 24 hr shift, and about 3 am would start ALL of his charting for the entire day About halfway thru, he would always fall asleep. We could always tell the point where he fell asleep, he would be writing, and then there would be a long line that eventually went off the page. We would let him sleep awhile, wake him, and he would ALWAYS pretend that he wasn't REALLY sleeping. Whatever. YOu get the general picture. He was charting on a pt who came in with chest pain, and was discharged home to follow up with her cardiologist. Her cardiologist's last name started with a "K" . His last order on this sweet little lady was " pt to F/U (follow up) C (with) then he STARTED then cardiologist's name, but was only able to get the first letter out before he fell asleep We all asked him to be OUR PCP, and write orders on us!

One order stands out:

DC black crap.

The patient was using a coal tar bath solution for psoriasis, and the doctor could not recall the name of it.

One of the doctors where I work presently writes orders such as the following (emphasis added):

BP q day X one week and record results.

He apparently believes that if he weren't explicit, we would take the readings and not record them. "Yes, doctor, we did take the blood pressures. I don't remember what they were, because you didn't say you wanted them written down..."