What is the dumbest order you ever read?

Stargazer · Nov 29, 2002, 04:41 PM

The provolone cheese and banana ones are hilarious.

On a post-op pt:

"NPO until awake." (Ya think? But I usually like to check unconscious pt's gag reflexes by stuffing jello down their throats!)

Our RT dept used to keep a book of the better ones--that was some fun reading. One of my faves:

"15% O2 by face mask." (Maybe if we attached it to suction or bleed in a little nitrous or helium?)

deespoohbear · Nov 29, 2002, 09:56 PM

Originally posted by kona2

And the classics, which you've seen before & continue to haunt the charts:

~ accurate I &O (uh, ya mean I can't make it up?)

~Call MD for significant change in status (doh!)

Oh, I just love those orders, especially the call MD with any significant change in status. Just bugs the daylights out of me.

I love it too when they give us parameters of when to call. I have had orders that say to call for SBP less than 80 (ya, think?), HR greater than 120, resp greater than 28, etc. Give me some credit, for pete's sake.

My other favorite order that goes with the same thing is call abnormal labs (you mean like the K+ of 2.1, or the Na of 115?)

gpip · Nov 29, 2002, 10:02 PM

move patient now.

AHRN · Nov 29, 2002, 11:15 PM

Another classic from NICU.
Post-op order:
Dangle BID.
We are still trying to figure out if we let the feet out the isolette port holes or drop the door and sit the baby on the edge!

AIS52 · Nov 29, 2002, 11:45 PM

A few I've collected;

-Metoprolol 1000 mg PO BID
So we call the doc and ask what he meant. He says "I didn't write that order. Call the House Staff." We remind him that HE put this patient is on private service so no residents covering. He says "well what does my H&P say?" It says "Full H&P dictated." You see where this is going.

-"Call House Officer for VT"
Need I say more?

-"Hold Lopressor for pauses"
Ya think?

SheilaK · Nov 30, 2002, 01:22 AM

Had a intern complaining about "other docs" who don't assess pt's before writing orders. 1 hour later a new admit came in, his admission.

Order read for bilat SCD's.

I called the doc and said do you want me to try to modify the SCD's he asked why. I asked him if he had seen this pt as the pt has bilat AKA with 6 inch stumps. He said opps and that he guesses he was as bad as the others. Got to razz him about that for the next few weeks.

rebelwaclause · Nov 30, 2002, 11:05 AM

This was the dumbest MD order I'd ever seen:

`'|/ '`h. Then `|/-\ fo`/x~`.

(Doctor's handwritting...Its all dumb to me...!)

Agnus · Nov 30, 2002, 12:22 PM

Originally posted by Sleepyeyes
My all-time favorite was printed on the MAR at an LTC, for a 97-yo woman:

"Mammogram q month"

of course, that was supposed to read "HEMOgram q month"--Dr. corrected it when we asked him if that is what he really ordered

This sounds like one I caught. "Pap smear normal, repeat in 2 wk."

Poor doc was very

when I drew this to his attention.

Agnus · Nov 30, 2002, 12:29 PM

Originally posted by swiftflyer
for pt rash - provalone cheese bid
what the heck?
turned out to be provon cream bid
Doc musta been hungry.....

Agnus · Nov 30, 2002, 12:33 PM

Originally posted by Furball
A u/a on an anuric renal pt......

YES, yes, yes, seen this one

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What is the dumbest order you ever read?

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