What is the dumbest order you ever read?

Sorry, just can't resist:
A fart it is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.

But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Good old farts like you!

"Boost, one bottle tid chilled but not over ice, shaken not stirred" PS Chocolate only

We have a new hospitalist who has a smart mouth, she constantly writes, "albuterol and atrovent PO q4hrs". Open wide, I have some albuterol and atrovent for your cough!

LOL, imma sing this to my husband!!

I finally have something to add to this thread. This is one of my favorite threads by the way.

Last week I had a patient that wasn't doing so hot. His urinary output was 100ccs the first day, then 50ccs the next day..bun/creatinine slowly rising...got himself an ARF diagnosis. A resident came through, didn't even bother going in to assess the pt, and wrote something along the lines of, "Bladder training, clamp foley 2 hours then unclamp 2 hours"

I dutifully carried the order out (I was in the patient's room every hour or so anyways...so why not). Total output on my shift? 30ccs...I'm sure the 3 or 4ccs that came out each time I unclamped the foley worked wonders for his bladder training. The next day the attending wrote, "Leave foley in." Sometimes I wonder if some of the residents even bother reading through the progress notes/labs/VS/I+O/etc.

Novolin 70/30 NPH insulin 40 units q a.m.

Two totally different insulins. This order got by the charge nurse, the pharmacist and 3 days of nurses before I found it. I called the primary physician and explained the problem with the order, so he said "Well, which insulin has she been getting?" I said "I couldn't tell you sir, I just started as her nurse this a.m."

I had to write this up, hated to do it, but it got by two many people. The failsafe's in the system totally failed in this instance.

________________________

Another order I received was Morphine, 20 mg Iv q 15 minutes prn. I called the physician and said "This can't be right" he said "It's what I ordered" I said, sir, the patient is a 1 y/o with pneumonia, do you really think this order is appropriate? He hemmend and hawed, and realized that he was thinking about another patient - and d/c the order on the child. I suggested that without knowing the other patient, the 20 mg Morphine might be appropriate, but he really should put a max dosage in for safety's sake, also dropped a PCA hint as well. Don't know if he ever did.

Lobster for dinner tonight....
Lobster?? This aint Red Lobster!!! Laughed about that for a few weeks!!

UA C&S on a anuric dialysis patient. (The doc knew he was a Hemodialysys pt)

while working in a rehab an MD wrote an order for gin and raisins b/c the pt said it helped w/arthritis. Needless to say, we didn't follow through.

"NPO by mouth"...i was laughing...hehe