What is the dumbest order you ever read?

I had an intern one day just driving me crazy. Could not make up her mind. Wrote a few orders for the patient and then she would change her mind. I sent the third set of orders to the ICU pharmacy across the hall without looking at them first. (Why bother, she was going to change them.) The pharmacist called in a few minutes and asked me to tell the intern that the ICU pharmacy did not do: "Pepto-Bismol stat"

Place fan in pt's room. (Just ask me for crying out loud!!)

The other order from the same doc was just as silly. At our hospitals, our docs have a color assigned to them. It is a piece of tape we put on the charts instead of the doctor's name. Dr. S is dk pink, Dr. L is green and so on. One time the wrong color tape got on the chart for Dr. Z and he actually wrote: Please place my color tape on this chart. Give me a break. Just tell the unit secretary to change the tape.

Not quite the same thing but when I had emergency surgery in Sept, an IV infiltrated in my antecubital space of my Left arm. ouch, yea anyway, so, I had them change it. Meantime, the site got quite red and irritated (surprise). So I asked for a cool pack or ice pack for it. RN says to me and says "sorry I will have to call the Resident for an order....we can't use cool/heat w/o it" Well after waiting 2 or 3 hours, I asked a visitor/friend of mine (also an RN), to go get me a cup of ice and a wash cloth and just did it myself. UGHHHHHHHHH--- nurses cannot assess and think for themselves at that place I guess. And to think, I once wanted to work at that hospital. Not anymore....that a BSN/RN could not even do such a simple task w/o orders made me think I could not handle their lack of autonomy there.

On a DKA patient who had rec'd 70 units of nph then had to have his tube feeds shut off unexpectedly:

Check fingerstick glucose Q2 and if he looks funny.

Duh.

At least it was a telephone order- I found a way to make it look nicer in the chart.

Got this order on a patient on suicide precautions who was also a cutter (self-mutilator.) One of the newer medical docs who wasn't used to psych and just thought he was treating her respiratory stuff lol. We just ignored that one.....

Edited to add: any order for preparation H on a walkie talkie that adds "pt may self-apply." No kidding, Sherlock? I sure as heck wasn't gonna do it .

And finally, on the discharge instructions for a man who had just been detoxed: "No alcohol."

We admitted a transvestite in full dress.
Doctor's order read:

Private room, this patient is not a woman, this is a man. This patient's husband is a woman, and he may shower.

The same doctor dictated a discharge summary:

This is a 700 year old black lady, her skin is lighter than black and is white. She had surgery and is fine. Transfer to ECF.

Same cardiologist (different patients):

Baked potato P.O. QD with evening meal

Milkshake P.O. q.h.s. - nursing to prepare (YEAH, RIGHT!)

Pepsi 1 can P.O. QID with meals

(He's not a very good cardiologist but he makes an excellent food director.)


Fluid resuscitation orders in a patient who had lost peripheral iv access and whose BP was rapidly dropping (who BADLY needed a central line): 500 cc H2O via NG stat. Oh yeah baby that's gonna fix him. GET HIM A CENTRAL LINE, STUPID. (resident's order).

Lost me!

Cogentin 150 mg. bid. uhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

I live in Amish and Mennonite country, so I see this a lot. We've only had Mennonites come in for high risk pregnancy, never the Amish. I love how they will speak English to you and as soon as you turn to walk out, the Pennsylvania Dutch comes out. Makes you wonder what the heck they're saying. They are very private people. All the husbands I have dealt with left during checks and during the birth. Haven't seen a lot of support.

Kristy