What is the dumbest order you ever read?

1. lisinopril 40 mg IV bid
2. lopressor 25 mg PO bid
3. toprol 75 mg PO qd
4. lasix (no route/dosage given)

these were all admission orders written for one patient.

Discharge Instructions for a male police officer

Refrain from wearing high heels at work.....

I had to sign up for a new account just for this one! Last night we found an order in one of the patient charts for: 0.5 mg po prn for insomnia/sleep. No, not a typo, no med writtent! The scary thing is, it was noted by the unit secretary, charge nurse, pharmacist, and 2 doctors!

I am from Vegas. Nobody who lives here has any luck when it comes to betting, but I am game.
Positive!!!

Originally Posted by canoehead Banana STAT for hypokalemia. (K of 3.3)

Apricots have more.

Whats that an ethnic slurr??

I just had to post a freetext order that a resident ordered on a pt with End stage AIDS and encephalopathy.

We are taking temp rectally, and he has a bear hugger for warming. (this just background info). We have a parameter for calling the MD for rectal temp < or = 95 degrees.

Resident order reads:

"Please correlate rectal temp with oral temp."

Holy Mother! Can they not SUBTRACT AND/OR ADD?! WTH!

I laughed out loud when I saw the order!! I had to show it to all who were nearby.

We are not taking this man's temp orally. The resident simply wanted us to do the math for them!

Appareently not.
So you have to chart you took it rectally at 99F
For him now we all have to do what 99 rectally=98 oral.
sigh.
To just put 98 oral is inappropriate documentation.

I just wanted to clarify that our original order is for us to take the temp rectally. period.

Now this new order for the correllation. All our recorded temps have been __ R. I just can't comprehend why the need to also record the -1 degree for oral.

btw, this pt. temp (rectally) ranges from 93-96. yes, I said 93!!

"Pt must have Blue Bell icecream TID."

I wanna play too!

When I worked cardiovascular surgery years ago:
"Instruct patient not to watch ShowTime After-Dark" (late night cable porn that stressed his 1 day post-op CABG... The resident got upset about a little run of VTac at 2AM...

"Please provide privacy for patient" - the intern had just been called to pronounce a DNR who expired... in a private room.

"Please provide conjugal visits for patient" - just this last week... I still can not figure out how to present this to the insurance company as an approved treatment plan! I didn't know that we offered that service...

"Inform family of inpatient admission" - By an attending physician on his own wife's chart! Order written after 9PM; when he finally answered his pages after 1AM we reminded him his wife was in the hospital! And yes, we had attempted to clarify this with him at the time...

"Arrange for someone to walk patient's dog while in hospital" - sure, I'll run right over after being on my feet the last 13+ hours...

And of course you gotta love those flimsy hall racks. A resident dropped a chart which promptly popped open and sent papers scattered about for 20 feet. His fishes out an order sheet and writes "Please put chart back in time for morning rounds". No problem buddy, right after I get down sticking these pins in a voodoo doll with your name on it!

Gotta love it!

Patient may have 2 chocolate milks with each meal( if not premixed, nurses to make with hershey syrup) sure, like we have that on the floor

Testosterone gel -apply as needed (for a patient that constantly masturbates)

Nurses to wash patients hair---patient could easily do it himself

Nurse must feed patient at each meal---the patient could eat with no problem

Fleets enema TID daily ???? with no stop order