What is the dumbest order you ever read?

We were the lucky recipients of orders from a doctor's first try with computerized records.

On the H&P, "Chief complaint: as above" .......Above where? it's the top of the page. your'e computer is not here

Meds: "Insulin, NPH, 25 ml. BID." ....25 ml??????

"Rocephin"........No amount, no route, no time.

7 clarifications of the meds. What gets me is that the doctor was furious that we had so much trouble with it.

"NTG 0.4mg q5min x3, if CP persists, call 911."

Well, that's ONE way to get a transfer, I suppose.

Urine analysis was ordered for anuric pt, after explaining to R1 that pt does not void due to ESRD, he changed the order to blood urine analysis stat.

Had an order to flush F/C with 10% dextrose

I C/O to doctor that my pt had been having a very foul smelling diarrhea and that she needed a her stool tested, doc ordered- spray pt room with airfreshner each time she goes.

Doesn't matter. You can have a leftover appendiceal stump and get appendicitis even after appendectomy.

I got an order on a post-op patient, some GI surgery (can't remember now) and she was strict NPO status with a NG tube. Well, she has a PCA and it was set to demand only and the patient wasn't even using it, but I left it there just in case she had pain, as she couldn't take any oral meds. The patient was having nausea and so the brilliant physician comes in and writes an order-not once, but twice to shut off the continuous rate on the PCA. Um, hellooo! Look at the machine, 0.0! The patient hasn't had any Morphine for at least 10 hours at this point. The second time, I did put that in the progress notes, but look at the machines or ask the nurse what the PCA is set on!

Two come immediately to mind...

#1. Give pt. lobster dinner tonight (pt. was complaining and MD wanted to shut her up) - yeah, ok..I am sure the cafeteria has tons of lobster available!! LOL

#2. Pt. OOB with RN assist only. (Yeah, because PT, OT, LPN's, etc. are unable to assist pt. OOB! LOL)

The dumbest ones are the ones I CANNOT READ grrrrrr

1. Supp Dulcolax PO prn.
2. IV Rocephine 1000g BD.
3. Please give IV abx before blood cultures (what's the use of the blood C/S then ????)
4. Change abdo dressing if soaked.

The paper that the MA wrote on the post "let loose the nurses of war" post. Now that is something.