What do you think about people calling you "honey"? - page 10

I am in my forties, but a lot of people (such as waitresses, sales clerks, cashiers) call me "honey" and "sweetheart" all the time. I think this is fine, when the person is older than me, but I get... Read More

  1. by   SICU Queen
    Quote from jlsRN
    Maybe people who are from the South and use honey alot should have some cultural awareness that this is perceived as being condecending by those not familiar with this cultural tendency?

    I'm not from the South and where I live it is rare to be called 'honey' by one's age peer or less. I find it grating, and when it's someone younger I think it's disrespectful. Where I live, honey and sweetie are reserved for those near and dear to us. Just an FYI to Southerners not familiar with other regional points of view. Try to be sensitive to other cultures and aware of how they perceive the world.
    Well, here's an FYI from a southerner to those in other regions: down here we say honey, babe, boo, sweetie, and a host of other things, as expressions of respect and comraderie. I personally find it grating when people from "other cultures" in my country get offended by OUR (the south's) cultural terms of endearment.

    This is such a pointless conversation, so I must ask: Is all that any of you who are bothered by these well-meant names has to worry about? If so, then I certainly want your secret to life. Truth be told, I've got a lot more important issues on my plate. To get my panties in a wad if someone calls me honey instead of Kim or Mrs. P_____ would be completely ridiculous.

    Find something worthy to grump about.
  2. by   Hellllllo Nurse
    Quote from SICU Queen
    This is such a pointless conversation.
    So why are you in it?
  3. by   Multicollinearity
    Quote from SICU Queen
    This is such a pointless conversation, so I must ask: Is all that any of you who are bothered by these well-meant names has to worry about?
    Well meant? Some cultural context is in order. How do you know the motivations behind this in regions other than your own? Why do you assume your experience in your area is the same as other's in other regions? Why do you so flippantly disrespect our feelings on this?
  4. by   SICU Queen
    Quote from multicollinearity
    Well meant? Some cultural context is in order. How do you know the motivations behind this in regions other than your own? Why do you assume your experience in your area is the same as other's in other regions? Why do you so flippantly disrespect our feelings on this?
    There was no flippant disrespect of anyone's feelings meant at all, on the contrary, I am truly baffled and am having a hard time understanding (but still trying!) how calling someone by an endearment can be so offensive! My opinions stem from my experiences here at home where people can comprehend that someone using such terms is only being friendly. I have done several travel assignments, and out of respect for other "cultures" DID make it a point not to use anything other than names or Ma'am or Sir while I was out and about, but even then got made fun of (in California) for being a redneck (which there's nothing wrong with being, mind you, but I am NOT one - I'm from New Orleans - BIG difference).

    Eh, whatever... it's really not that big of a deal to me. Like I said, I've got more important issues to worry about and in addition have firsthand experience in the fact that there's lots worse I can be called. If it makes someone happy for me NOT to say "Hey hon, how's your day going?" then that works for me too. I guess my point is that there's a LOT more going on in nursing, and the world in general, to grump about other than someone calling you "honey", but hey... I'm just one of those inconsiderate, offensive N'Awlins Yats who says babe and honey... so perhaps I'm not the best judge...

    (As to my presence in this thread, Helllllooooo Nurse, I'm in it because I CHOOSE to be. :trout: I have opinions about everything, even those conversations that I deem pointless.)
  5. by   SICU Queen
    This thread just intrigues the heck out of me... so answer a question for me, if you all will. :spin:

    For those of you who are offended by "honey" and "babe", what would your response be if you came to New Orleans, where you can't go half a block without getting a "Hey babe, how ya doing?" (along with a big smile). It's a manner of greeting here... and is absolutely NOT meant in any offense.

    Would you be offended? If so, why? You're in a culture where it's acceptable... and when people from this New Orleans culture travel (like myself), are they expected to give up their cultural traits so as not to offend? Do you expect this of people from ALL cultures?

    If you wouldn't be offended, then what's the difference if someone calls you "honey" at home, if that's what they're used to doing and it's a cultural thing for them?

    (Mind you, I'm NOT talking about smart mouth teens, or anyone else trying to be offensive...)
  6. by   FireStarterRN
    Quote from SICU Queen
    Well, here's an FYI from a southerner to those in other regions: down here we say honey, babe, boo, sweetie, and a host of other things, as expressions of respect and comraderie. I personally find it grating when people from "other cultures" in my country get offended by OUR (the south's) cultural terms of endearment.

    This is such a pointless conversation, so I must ask: Is all that any of you who are bothered by these well-meant names has to worry about? If so, then I certainly want your secret to life. Truth be told, I've got a lot more important issues on my plate. To get my panties in a wad if someone calls me honey instead of Kim or Mrs. P_____ would be completely ridiculous.

    Find something worthy to grump about.
    Whoa, harsh! Thanks for the sensitive response, it's nice to be heard!
  7. by   FireStarterRN
    Quote from Hellllllo Nurse
    So why are you in it?

    [S]
    Good question...
    [/S]

    I've noticed that some people like to go click on a thread and then spend time responding to it by saying "This is a ridiculous topic and a waste of time, why are we discussing this? I can't believe anyone would start a post as offensive and/or inane as this one"

    I always wonder who was sticking a gun to that person's head forcing them to click on it, read it, and post on it.
  8. by   leslymill
    Honey, I can take, if it isn't flowing in sugar sweetness.
    Hun
    I don't like that much. I really just prefer MY NAME.
  9. by   AR_RN
    All this talk of culture and what's acceptable in some areas and not in others overlooks one question in my mind. What makes some people see "honey" as "an attempt to demean" them, versus those of us that see it as friendly? I've called any number of people honey and never had anyone get upset about it, but it's never in my life been intended as demeaning, minimizing, or anything else negative? Is it just a matter of cultural norms dictating our emotional responses, or is it a personal and individual tendency to see things in a certain light? Understand, I'm not responding to any one person here, so I hope no one takes offense. This is just a general thought.
  10. by   FireStarterRN
    Quote from leslymill
    Honey, I can take, if it isn't flowing in sugar sweetness.
    Hun
    I don't like that much. I really just prefer MY NAME.
    ya need to lighten up, sugarcakes, and I know ya'll don't mind a little pinch on your rear 'cause in my neck of the woods, that's just being friendly, hun...
  11. by   psalm
    ...well, we have to be aware that in some cultures it is acceptable to call a woman all kinds of offensive names. Because of these offensive names, "honey" isn't one of them, IMO. I have had one pt. tell me "I am NOT your honey"...and I apologised and told her I am so busy, I couldn't remember if her name was Smith or Jones, and I wanted to address her somehow ( I was doing an IV check, not a med, which would require her name in the 5 rights). That smoothed things out.

    Endearments I have used: honey, sweetie, love, dear, darlin', Miz _____, precious....such as, "how's that , love?" after repositioning.

    So again, it is all about intentions.
  12. by   SICU Queen
    Quote from jlsRN
    [S]
    Good question...
    [/S]

    I've noticed that some people like to go click on a thread and then spend time responding to it by saying "This is a ridiculous topic and a waste of time, why are we discussing this? I can't believe anyone would start a post as offensive and/or inane as this one"

    I always wonder who was sticking a gun to that person's head forcing them to click on it, read it, and post on it.
    There's this little elf that resides in my house called GROUCHO. He sat on my bed late last night and forced me to think unfriendly thoughts and to type ugly sounding posts. :uhoh21:

    Seriously folks... I am sorry... I do still have my opinion that there's nothing wrong with a well-intentioned "sweetie" but I certainly could've communicated it better!!!
  13. by   Hellllllo Nurse
    Quote from SICU Queen
    This thread just intrigues the heck out of me... so answer a question for me, if you all will. :spin:

    For those of you who are offended by "honey" and "babe", what would your response be if you came to New Orleans, where you can't go half a block without getting a "Hey babe, how ya doing?" (along with a big smile). It's a manner of greeting here... and is absolutely NOT meant in any offense.

    Would you be offended? If so, why? You're in a culture where it's acceptable... and when people from this New Orleans culture travel (like myself), are they expected to give up their cultural traits so as not to offend? Do you expect this of people from ALL cultures?

    If you wouldn't be offended, then what's the difference if someone calls you "honey" at home, if that's what they're used to doing and it's a cultural thing for them?

    (Mind you, I'm NOT talking about smart mouth teens, or anyone else trying to be offensive...)
    I have spent some time in New Orleans. Ironically, my husband just flew in from NOLA @ 1130 today.
    No teenage store clerks called me honey there. Everyone was very polite and considerate. They all called me "Ma'am."

    As I said in an earlier post- pts, and people older than me are welcome to call me honey. Same goes for my peers at work.

    It is offensive, however, when a teen-age grocery store bagger says "You want these in your trunk, hun?"

    In the field I'm in (hemodialysis) there is a industry wide problem with technicians being insubordinate with their nurse supervisors. There is no way I will allow a tech (or a doc for that matter) to call me hun.

    When someone whom I do not know and who is younger than me calls me hun, it feels condescening; it's a verbal pat on the head.

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