What do you think about egg donation? - page 4

Just recently I have been considering egg donation. I feel like I want to help out all these other women who cannot have children. Do you know someone or have you yourself donated eggs? I really need... Read More

  1. by   Q.
    Quote from ZASHAGALKA
    What I meant was that if a woman couldn't have a bio child due to an egg problem, egg donation would be a method of allowing her husband to be the bio-dad. I said I thought it was somewhat selfish for that father part of a couple to insist that he be the bio-dad when his wife couldn't be.
    I guess I could see how that could be percieved as selfish on the part of the dad, but say in the case of us, if biological children were important, wouldn't it be kind of a natural progression to have at least one person from the marriage bio parent the child? Not that we personally could do it, because it needs to come from BOTH of us and not one...
  2. by   ZASHAGALKA
    Quote from mstigerlily
    Isn't that the way it is in most same-sex couples who have kids? One of them is generally the genetic parent, the other not. If they really wanted to be fair I suppose one lesbian partner would give birth once, the other the next, or each gay man use his sperm once, the other the next. That way they'd each have a genetic child.

    Also, in stepparent situations, the child is genetically one parents, the other not.
    These are both apple and oranges situations.

    In both the cases you cite, there is an impossibility to have kids in a desired dual-bio-input mode: same sex couples can't do that. And if you have step children, theoretically, it's impossible to retrograde reverse their genes. Both of these types of relationships come to the table w/ the understanding that dual-bio input is not possible (in the case of the step children, at least in regards to children that already exist). You don't consider heroic measures for something that you know can't be done, no matter the effort.

    Trying to conceive is a different story altogether. And I would think, no matter my desire to be a bio-dad, I couldn't do that if it meant my spouse couldn't. I would opt for other measures.

    ~faith,
    Timothy.
  3. by   JUSTYSMOM
    I would think that requiring a method of reproduction that lets the dad part of a couple be the bio-dad but not the mom part (cause it's not her egg) isn't very supporting. I said that it was selfish. And I could envision that destroying relationships.

    ~faith,
    Timothy.[/QUOTE]

    You need to understand something thing. In the infertility world, there is no room for selfishness. Egg donation allows a woman an opportunity to experience her own pregnancy. She is the birth mom. SHE has control of prenatal care.

    There are plenty of people who can't afford adoption. Having the opportunity to achieve a pregnancy with a 70% success rate is very appealing. In addition, some people would never tell anyone that their pregnancy was a result of egg donation.
  4. by   Q.
    Quote from JUSTYSMOM

    You need to understand something thing. In the infertility world, there is no room for selfishness. Egg donation allows a woman an opportunity to experience her own pregnancy. She is the birth mom. SHE has control of prenatal care.
    She is the birth mom but the father is also involved to. Even though the father isn't physically going through the pregnancy, he IS going through his own stage of attachment, preparation, etc. Fathers worry about prenatal care as much as women; sometimes moreso.

    In other words though, I can see Timothy's point.
  5. by   fergus51
    I think a couple is capable of deciding for themselves if dad being the biological parent will be detrimental to their relationship or not. Personally, I couldn't care less if I had to use egg donation and my partner's sperm rather than have neither of us be the biological parent because it isn't biology that makes a parent IMO.
  6. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Quote from fergus51
    I think a couple is capable of deciding for themselves if dad being the biological parent will be detrimental to their relationship or not. Personally, I couldn't care less if I had to use egg donation and my partner's sperm rather than have neither of us be the biological parent because it isn't biology that makes a parent IMO.
    Obviously, or else adoption would never work. Great post, fergus.

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