I graduated last December with a BSN, supposedly from a very good school. I will throw in that I graduated at the top of my class, Sigma Theta Tau and yada yada yada...Yes I know, (and can prove) that doesnt amount to a hill of beans in the real world of nursing.
I just failed PBDS for the second time (there are multiple tears in my beer this afternoon). I am the worst nurse in the world, (no, I havent killed anyone yet). My preceptor says I am too dependent on her (only because I dont know what I am doing). I absolutely hate floor nursing. I really really suck at it. I am on my second job (because I thought the first wasnt a good fit)...only to find out my problem isnt the hospital, it is me. I am not nursing material. I struggle with it everyday. It isnt coming to me. The people I tutored in nursing school
are doing amazingly great, and I come home crying everyday. I have always been one of those people who could walk into a job and 2 hours later will be performing like I have been there for 20 years. I adapt and learn very quickly, dont know how I went so wrong with nursing. I love the science. I love my patients, truly love helping them.
I want out of nursing, but dont know exactly what to do with a $40,000 BSN degree. I am at my wits end. I havent won the lottery yet. Debating on hitchhiking through South America but dont think I can do that for the rest of my life. So what now?
Most education positions require years of experience. I dont know that I am qualified to do anything else nursing wise. And I really dont want to go back to waiting tables. I worked in Medical billing, coding, medical insurance, workers comp before...but I was barely making enough to cover my student loans.
I am open to any ideas. sorry for the long rant...I just dont know what else to do.