welcome to the hilton...please dont forget to tip your waitress - page 19

i have no idea where the er is getting these people from but i wish theyd send them back...lol they are sick..yes...but for goodness sakes! i cant raise the head of my bed (i can however use... Read More

  1. by   teeituptom
    Quote from my2sons
    Our administration just spent a gazillion dollars so that all of our med-surg patients could have a ceiling mounted monitor with mega-channels cable tv, dvd player, internet radio and web access. And they can't fork over the cash so nursing can move to computer charting. I may as well carve my nurses' notes in stone! The kicker is that our typical med surg patient is about a hundred years old and could care less about the high tech stuff. Things that make ya go hmmmmmmmmm.
    I remember when we did use stone tablets
    kept me in good shape carrying those things around
    switched to paper and now Im fat and lazy
    hahahahahaha
  2. by   FranEMTnurse
    my2sons
    Our administration just spent a gazillion dollars so that all of our med-surg patients could have a ceiling mounted monitor with mega-channels cable tv, dvd player, internet radio and web access. And they can't fork over the cash so nursing can move to computer charting. I may as well carve my nurses' notes in stone! The kicker is that our typical med surg patient is about a hundred years old and could care less about the high tech stuff. Things that make ya go hmmmmmmmmm.

    Ummm, where did you say that hospital is? I'm a frequent flyer to the hospital, and the one I go to has gotten very boring. I'm interested in the high tech stuff. :chuckle :hatparty:
  3. by   heart queen
    new admit, ambulates with a walker. So I tell her the first time she OOB's, to call, I want to assess her gait. Call light goes off, I walk with her, she does just fine. call if you need me.... "wait" she says. ( uhha) , "I can't reach"

    you can't reach what? I ask. "back there"... pointing to her bottom.

    Ugh! Well what do you do at home? I ask, ever so nicely. "well at home I just have to manage, but now that you're here...."

    (oh hellll no!)... so I give her my favorite reply. "one of the most important aspects in nursing is maintaining and improving a patients functional status. I would never wish to interfere with your ability for self care..... BARF BARF, GET THE BOOTS ON... should you need help with anything you CAN'T do for yourself.... call me.

    Well mrs. I can wipe my own arse, called the charge nurse!!!!!! Charge told her, yes, your nurse is correct. Let us know if we can help otherwise. THE FREAKIN nerve!
  4. by   ktwlpn
    Quote from heart queen
    (oh hellll no!)... so I give her my favorite reply. "one of the most important aspects in nursing is maintaining and improving a patients functional status. I would never wish to interfere with your ability for self care..... BARF BARF, GET THE BOOTS ON... should you need help with anything you CAN'T do for yourself.... call me.

    Well mrs. I can wipe my own arse, called the charge nurse!!!!!! Charge told her, yes, your nurse is correct. Let us know if we can help otherwise. THE FREAKIN nerve!
    You have the Queen of Charge Nurses there........ :hatparty:
  5. by   my2sons
    When I was a student nurse one of my patients who was slung up with 2 broken arms asked me to scratch his scrotum for him because he couldn't reach.

    I scratched. EWWWWWWWWW!

    Always got to keep in mind those patient satisfaction surveys--haha!:chuckle
  6. by   SarahCeleste
    I am a waitress part time, and to tell you the truth, most of the time I cannot tell the difference between waitressing and nursing...I've made this comparison many times and still stick to the fact: they're all always wanting something.
  7. by   RN-PA
    Quote from SarahCeleste
    I am a waitress part time, and to tell you the truth, most of the time I cannot tell the difference between waitressing and nursing...I've made this comparison many times and still stick to the fact: they're all always wanting something.
    Before I became a nurse, I used to marvel at waitresses and think, "I could NEVER do that job!". Now I know that if I ever quit nursing and need a job, I'll feel right at home as a waitress.

    I also wish we had trays to carry all of our stuff-- from juice and soda to fresh ice water, along with oral meds, IV piggybacks, and wound care supplies, it'd be really convenient to pile everything on a tray and hoist it all up on a shoulder.
  8. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I'd like to strap a tip jar to my butt then (on the front would interfere with lifting.)
  9. by   zudy
    Quote from LPN2Be2004
    I'd like to strap a tip jar to my butt then (on the front would interfere with lifting.)

    I had a pt try to give me $10 once coz "You sweet little nurse, that was the best enema I ever had!" Just think how much we could collect with tip jars on our butts!!
  10. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Yeah but my luck i'll pick someone up off the floor and watch all 3 of those pennies rolls on out of the jar lol.
  11. by   teeituptom
    Quote from my2sons
    When I was a student nurse one of my patients who was slung up with 2 broken arms asked me to scratch his scrotum for him because he couldn't reach.

    I scratched. EWWWWWWWWW!

    Always got to keep in mind those patient satisfaction surveys--haha!:chuckle


    Not a chance, a scrotum scratcher I will never be,
    I will give him benadryl
    I will give him Dilaudid
    I will give him atarax

    But never never never scratch a scrotum

    other than mine that is
  12. by   Nurse Ratched
    There's gotta be some kind of occupational therapist tool you could rig up for the scrotum scratcher lol. If quadraplegics can run wheelchairs with only their breath, we must have the technology... :chuckle
  13. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    A Backscratcher with paper tape (wrap the curved end to prevent 'scroccidents'). Saw a quadriplegic use a back scratcher to get rid of itching anywhere using this (he bit on the end).

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