Weird pt complaints - page 5

OK , I'll start. Last night I had a post partum patient tell me "I keep passing out in my sleep" could someone please explain this one to me??????? Lets hear some of your strangest pt complaints.... Read More

  1. by   andrewsgranny
    No Complaint, but this is true. A long time ago I worked for an older Dr. we lived in a very small Tennessee town
    We saw alot of what I call" Loretta Lynn" pts. Anyway....
    One day a lady brought her 13 y/o daughter in and she was c/o
    vaginal pain, and lower abd. pain. So I sat her up for a pelvic exam. Mom stayed in the room per daughters request.
    So the Doc, came back in to examine her and asked the mother
    "Has your daughter ever had intercourse?" Mother replied
    "Naw, but if she needs it go ahead and give it to her"
    The Dr's glasses just slid down his nose. It was priceless.
    So the Dr. does his exam and reports to the mom, Well he says
    "it appears she has a yeast infection" The mom says "well ok, can you go ahead and treat her for the west infection too, I dont want to have to come back."
    WTF

    :roll :roll :roll ok, yea, and uhhh bologna makes you horney!
  2. by   jemb
    Originally posted by Flynurse
    Hey, its not my fault people can't stop mass debating around here! Including ME!
    Oh...I shouldn't have said that out loud!
    Good one, Flynurse!
  3. by   ShelleyERgirl
    Originally posted by andrewsgranny
    No Complaint, but this is true. A long time ago I worked for an older Dr. we lived in a very small Tennessee town
    We saw alot of what I call" Loretta Lynn" pts. Anyway....
    One day a lady brought her 13 y/o daughter in and she was c/o
    vaginal pain, and lower abd. pain. So I sat her up for a pelvic exam. Mom stayed in the room per daughters request.
    So the Doc, came back in to examine her and asked the mother
    "Has your daughter ever had intercourse?" Mother replied
    "Naw, but if she needs it go ahead and give it to her"
    The Dr's glasses just slid down his nose. It was priceless.
    So the Dr. does his exam and reports to the mom, Well he says
    "it appears she has a yeast infection" The mom says "well ok, can you go ahead and treat her for the west infection too, I dont want to have to come back."
    WTF

    :roll :roll :roll ok, yea, and uhhh bologna makes you horney!

    :roll :

    bwwwaahhh!!!!

    Good one, Granny. Got one for ya, had an sweet little asian patient come in for a weird vag. discharge. It was a strange greyish purple color. She had just been fitted for a diaphragm not long before this so I just had to ask the question... Mrs's so and so what kind of jelly did you use to insert your diaphragm? She looks me dead in eye with a big smile and says " oh I use the Smucker grape jelly"! Bingo, we have the reason for our purple discharge! Can you just see the commercial for this one?:chuckle
  4. by   mamabear
    This isn't a complaint per se, but it cracks me up every time I think about it.
    I work midnights on an adult psych unit. One night, one of our FF got up, walked to the dayroom and laid down on the floor. After about 2 minutes, I said "Joe, get up off the floor. It's dirty, and it's not a very good place to sleep either". Joe replied "well, I'm 55 years old, and I think I know what's best for me". I replied, in my best assertive communication voice "I'm 56, and I'm really trying to help you". He said "here's what I think of your so-called help, lady", and proceded to expell an enormous amount of flatus at me! :uhoh21: :roll I haven't laughed that hard at work in years.
  5. by   GWBRN
    My Mother-in-Law called me perplexed about her sister who was "very weak and sick." Sis told her the doc said she had "trial separation" After listening to the S/S I figured out she meant Atrial Fibrillation!! :chuckle
  6. by   debbyed
    The "Nipple" has to be my favorite.:roll
  7. by   OBNurseShelley
    I had a patient in Labor once, that had an epidural and needed a foley put in, as i proceeded to start this patient in a very serious tone, says....how will the baby be able to come out now? It was all i could do to keep from laughing, this was the same patient who thought that after her epidural since she felt numb she should get up and walk around?? wtf, this patient was an adult and educated, it just never ceases to amaze me how ignorant people are about their bodies!
  8. by   scrubs70
    great stories people, got to love the exploding nipple. I am a newbie on here and love the site.
  9. by   gwenith
    Had a great Aunt tell me she was admitted to hospital because her "heart was revolving too fast" (Perhaps I should/nt have admitted to the relationship}.
    Had an MI patient the other night tell me that eating pork fat is good for you if you eat enough cabbage (HHHMMMM talk about your myocardial infarts)
    Then there was the guy who wanted 2 "depositories" for constipation
    Had apatient complain of "Asparagus veins" in his legs but the topper was the patient who told teh MO he had had "hairy Syphallus" in his arm

    *****??
  10. by   mamabear
    My mother-in-law had a friend who had all her sinuses removed so she wouldn't get sick.
  11. by   nurseleigh
    Had a pt that was told by the doc she had emphysema and COPD. Right after getting report I am told that she wants to speak to her nurse. I go in and her and her son are sitting there. They tell me what the doc told them and have some questions. First the son asks me if I will tell his mother that if she doesn't quit smoking, she will be dead within 5 years. Uhhhh, no. I cannot make that statement.

    Next she asks when she will be able to go downstairs to smoke. I tell her that is up to the doctor and when he comes in tomorrow morning to ask him. Then she asks. . . will I have this COPD for the rest of my life?
    I am pretty sure that the cigarettes aren't going to make it "go away."

    I have also had the ones that want to be woke up at midnight to get their sleeping pill.

    Leigh
  12. by   nurseleigh
    Oh yeah, she is only 45

    Leigh
  13. by   Pamelita
    where I work we had family members saying thinks like:

    -I demand a psych consult to my husband! I think he is depressed!! -patient is comatose w/multisystem failures, has been comatose for almost a year!!
    that one almost killed me and I cannot get over it!!!

close