Visitors with no common sense!! - page 5

What has happened to common sense in the hospital? I had a patient who had a hysterectomy (TAH and BSO) Tuesday morning. This young lady was only back her room for about 20 minutes when she had... Read More

  1. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    I'm sorry for your terrible experience Huganurse. I always put moms first in every aspect of care. We always have visitors that say it's too cold in the mom's rooms. (The pt's all have individual controls in their rooms). I smile and tell them that mom is warm and mom comes first, and that they are welcome to go home and get a sweater.

    When I've been in a mom's room, and she tells me to keep baby in the nursery so she can catch a nap. 10 minutes later the in laws show up and are themselves standing at the nursery door demanding that the baby be in the room, I tell them no, that perhaps they should have called mom to she if she was prepared for visitors before they came.

    My least favorite is when a dozen people accompany a fresh c-section. What is that about?

    I was involved in my unit having signs made for mom's door. DO NOT DISTURB UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE - PLEASE SEE NURSE.
    Yes, it's inconvnient to me, but mom's have such a hard time being the bad guy when it comes to a little R&R. I tell them all the time, tell me what you need and I'll be the bad guy.

    Heather
  2. by   ubcnme
    OMG! I can certainly relate to these situations. Once while working on tele, had a 80+ year old male, totally disoriented and total care with 6 family members that stayed around the clock....laying around in the recliners, in and out of the kitchen, asking me to give 'dad' a bath and 'can you turn him now'..like I didn't know my own job! Thankfully he had a private room but it looked more like a slumber party. Finally, I got so fed up with them that I told them only 2 at a time and there was a family waiting room down the hall. I explained as diplomatically as I could that he needed his rest and I needed to do my job without all of the observation/comments. They looked stunned, BUT they did what I asked them too without any nasty remarks. I had been bracing myself.

    These situations do not only go on the in hospital, let me tell you. Now I work at a county health dept in immunizations. It just KILLS me as to how many people have to accompany mom and/or dad to 'see' baby get their shots! The parents will even bring the older siblings back and comment "Let's watch little Joey get his shots"! I think this is so cruel, morbid, or something...they actually like to watch the baby cry and get poked. Just last week mom had a friend with her who also had a baby (who wasn't getting shots) along with THREE other children anywhere from 5 y.o. on down and when I called baby they ALL got up. I said "I have very limited space in my room so I would really appreciate it if just mom and baby come back"....Ohhhh with looks of disgust on their faces! Tough! And this kind of thing happens on almost a daily basis here....I just don't get it....or they don't get it....or something!
  3. by   whipping girl in 07
    All these stories make me glad I work in ICU! We have pretty strict visiting hours and we hand out a sheet to the closest family member when the patient is admitted spelling out the hours, number of immediate family members allowed at a time, under 14 not allowed above 1st floor, no cell phones, etc. We also give the patient number to the family member and tell them they can use it when they call to check on the patient, and only to give it to one or two people. When I add that if I'm spending all my time on the phone telling the family how Grandma is doing, I can't be taking care of Grandma. That usually limits the phone calls and then number of people with Grandma's hospital number. As for the visitors, we have people walk in with babies and little kids all the time. Whoever sees them first stops them and kicks them out. We have made some exceptions, though, like several months ago, we had this 41 year old mom of two who had been in the unit for over a month, had been at death's door on more than one occasion, was AAO but not yet able to go to a regular room, and it was her birthday. So we waited till after 1pm visiting hours and let the kids come up and have a little party for their mom. She had been missing those kids so much; it really brightened her day. It was one of those times that it was OK to bend the rules.

    So for all you folks who work in units with limited access (ICU, etc), how often do you have visitors try to sneak in, as in stand by the door waiting for a staff member to walk in or out, then rush through while the door is open? It drives me crazy!! I had a patient last week whose family kept doing that. I know they meant well (pt was very confused and did much better when family was in the room) but it drove me crazy. After two nights, I had a long talk with them and explained that we weren't doing anything for Grandma in ICU that couldn't be done in a regular room. It was obvious they wanted to stay with her, but they couldn't in the unit, and she did better with them there with her. If she was in a regular room, she could have one of them with her all the time. If they told the doctors they wanted her out of the unit, they'd probably listen. They were in complete agreement with me! They also told me that her doctor had not wanted her transferred to ICU to begin with, and it was the doctor on call who gave the order, even though the answering service had been instructed to call the patient's doctor (not the on call doctor) for any concerns for this particular patient. Arrgh! The second night I took care of her, I had to call the doctor on her, and the answering service told me he wasn't on call, and I informed them that he had been very upset the night before when he was not called on this patient. She paged him and of course he called me back.

    I haven't been doing this for very long, but I'm not afraid to step on anyone's toes! I've kicked out plenty of people who need to be, and if my patient is AAO, I tell them that I get to set the hours for visiting, and if they don't want anyone, or want just so-and-so, let me know. I'll walk out there and be the bad guy, never letting anyone know that the PATIENT doesn't want visitors.
  4. by   semstr
    wow, i can't believe that inlaws can hold their grandchildren, nephews or nieces before the mum does!
    Would be a absolute no, no here. Since mum decides who is going to hold the baby after she has hold it. After a C-section, dad or whoever mum decides to, can hold, if not baby is in nursery till mum is recovered.
    Dads are allowed 8am till 8pm, all others 2 till 6 pm, no more then 3 ppl in the room.
    We have big problems with immigrants from Africa or the middle east, where it is normal that the whole familiy takes care of the new mother and newborn child.
    When you explain, they don't have to bring the food and that the nurses show the breastfeeding, some of those old women can't believe it. Not until the new mum says it's the truth, then they leave and we (the nurses) get the food for doing our jobs.

    take care, Renee
  5. by   SmilingBluEyes
    THEY ***DON'T*** WHERE I WORK, renee...I PROMISE YOU THAT....the ONLY time inlaws and any others would get to hold baby first would be in the case of an ILL mom who cannot for some reason hold her baby right away and NO father of baby is available. The PARENTS have that HONOR always in my care unless extenuating circumstances exist prohibiting this for some reason. And, That is rare. Of course, Cultural differences do make it a challenge at times, and if the MOTHER expresses preferences toward that effect, I honor them. But I take my cues from the new parents.
  6. by   LasVegasRN
    Hasn't anyone had the experience of the "distraught" family member DEMANDING medication from you because they are so distraught? When I was working CCU, that happened I don't know how many times! Screaming family members saying how terribly DISTRAUGHT their mother/father/brother/sister/Aunt/Uncle/WHATEVER is over the whole situation, CAN'T YOU PEOPLE GIVE THEM A VALIUM??!! Unbelievable!!

    I have to chime in on my own OB experience. 70 hours into my high risk induction, the PHONE in my room rings. Keeps ringing. I'm thinking ***** I answer, thinking this must be a wrong number, surely no one would be calling me in the labor room. It's my best friend in Toledo.."Hey? What's up?" I had to take a deep breath, as best I could during a contraction, and say, "Uh, let me call you AFTER I'M DONE DELIVERING". I still can't believe that.
  7. by   BadBird
    I tell the visitors that no one under 14 is allowed period! The rooms are not child proof and we are not responsible if someone gets hurt. Many don't like it but if you stand firm they usually back down. If anyone gets nasty with me I give them the option of leaving before I call security.
  8. by   kittyw
    Last edit by kittyw on Apr 19, '03
  9. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    LOL! I must have looked like a raving lunatic in labor because when I looked at everyone, including my hubby, and started screaming "GET THE F**K OUT!" they all left!

    But I realize some people don't lke to be the bad guy, so that's what I do now. Heather, RN, bad guy.

    Heather
  10. by   prmenrs
    Poor Heather--think you were in transition??
  11. by   RNforLongTime
    OK, let me tell you about my night last night.

    There is a pt on one of the gen floors at my hosp. Has been there awhile. Came in with serious infection. Is doing better shoulda been d/c'd weeks ago.
    All of us nurses and aides wanted to scream!!!!
    Last edit by RNforLongTime on Jun 28, '02
  12. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Originally posted by prmenrs
    Poor Heather--think you were in transition??
    I may have been :chuckle

    Hard to tell when the entire labor was 3 hours from start to finish!

    Heather
  13. by   JeannieM
    Love this thread :kiss
    I've got a couple of stories to share. The first was when I was working ICU. We had "flexible visitation" and a family was in visiting a patient. Suddenly our monitor at the desk starts spewing out reams of crazy paper! I went to the room, and a family member is serenely punching buttons on the bedside monitor. When I ask him politely what the "heck" he is doing, he replies, "Oh, I was just trying to figure out how this thing works." He had also tried to figure out how the IV pump worked; fortunately, he was playing with the one that had the mainline fluid instead of the Dopamine! I seized upon this teaching moment to explain why one shouldn't punch buttons randomly in an ICU.
    During one of the brief times I was floated to OB (fish out of water: another thread idea), I took two interesting phone calls. The first was from a family member who asked "Has Mrs. Smith had her baby yet?" When I answered in the negative, she became indignant. "Well, when is she going to have it?" I was sorely tempted to reply, "In three hours, forty minutes and sixteen seconds." "Ma'am, you'll have to ask God." was another idea.
    I later took another call in which a woman wanted to know if "Mrs. Jones" was there in labor. When I replied that we had no patient by that name, she became angry. "Well, I called her mother's house, her doctor's office and even had her paged at Walmart! I can't find her, so she's GOT to be there having her baby!" Do they think we hid her in the closet or something? To my OB peers, this has really been an eye opener! I didn't realize you deal with these nut cases on a regular basis. Please accept my profound admiration.

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