visiting hours for families!!!!!

  1. I almost walked our of my job yesterday. Can you imagine having many family members come in at 0730 am and leave at 1830 every day???!!!! YES in my hospital they are allowed too, and not just one they take turns, one stays then another comes. Yesterday with a load of 7 patients 5 vents, 2 trachs, 2 crashing on having a panic attack that went on V-tach and family members which think that being a nurse its so easy that you could just stay with their love one and forget about your other 6 patients!!! GOD!!!!!!!! I understand they are concerned about their loved one but don't they see we are human??? don't they see we are tired and stressed out??? I know its our job but sometimes family are so mean, rude and they take everything on US like is our fault the patient is going down hill??!!!!!!!!
    to top it off the husband of one of my bad patients which was throwing up unstable because she was not tolerating feeding was the associate dean of the college of medicine in a stat univ.!!!!thanks for listening and let me vent!!!!
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  2. 10 Comments

  3. by   SOCRATES SOUL
    I hear ya! You had a shift from hell, a thing that is becoming increasingly common with all nurses worldwide........

    Administration is all too busy promoting hotel like hospitals I expect to see a concierge greeting us all and bidding us a 'good day' next time I enter via the main doors, perhaps even valet parking fo some of the totally clueless relatives that flounce through the door.........:chuckle

    NO of course some relatives dont realise that we are ourselves mere mortals, we are there to be their personal nurse and chamber maiden didnt you know? Perhaps they could even train us to respond to 'clapping commands' with a haughty toss of the head......

    Im sorry to sound cynical but lets not fight the reality of it, we ARE treated like **** by at least a quarter of the population that comes crashing through the battered hospital doors, that disregard our professional qualifications, training and experience that guides us to make experienced and educated prioritised judgements...........

    It is the selffish western socities that we live in and I have encountered many a public person out there that would benefit form some reality jolting and 'humbling' encounters to get them to see outside the square they live in.........
  4. by   SmilingBluEyes
    omg there are so many threads on this same subject...and hon, i feel for ya. we have visitors 24/7onOB......some never EVER freaking leave. Now, I realize our acuity is not comparable to yours for the most part, but OH GOSH they get on my nerves at times. All I can say is I am so sorry for your horrible time and offer a cyber-hug your way.....
  5. by   nimbex
    I've often been forced to say... "what else can I get for you now, because I need to assess my other patients...."

    On a rare occasion, the thought pops into their heads that there is someone else that needs my care too!
  6. by   JailRN
    another reason that I left hospital nursing. I feel your pain.
    ((((HUGS)))))
  7. by   Fgr8Out
    {{{{Pamelita}}}}

    We have 24/7 visiting hours as well.... And while I understand that it's helpful to those who can't come in during the 8-5 hours... I too, have seen rude, nonsensical behavior on the part of some visitors.

    I've become very adept at the old "Ooops, I'm being called out at the nurse's station (or if I hear a call light, mine or not, I'll comment that I need to answer it)... I'll be back with you just as soon as I can." I also remind folks that when I'm with them, they are my primary concern but that... if I'm not there at their beck and call (not really the words I SAY to them, but it's what I sometimes think), it's because, like with them before, I'm now attending to the needs of another patient.

    I try very hard to follow up on promises to return... and this seems to help MOST people, because it establishes some trust and reassurance that their needs WILL be seen to. For those who I can't please... I don't let it bother me. Those sort can't be pleased no matter WHERE they are.

    Peace
  8. by   Sleepyeyes
    When i had to stay overnight 3 nights, my daughter stayed with me and I really got a chance to see how much work she saved the staff. So we didn't have to call for staff unless it was for a pain med, or an infiltrated IV....

    I've had my share of PITA relatives visiting at all hours, but in the main, the ones who sit with that confused relative all night, keeping him from unplugging lines and otherwise injuring himself, do help more than they could ever know. I wish we had more like that. :kiss God love 'em....
  9. by   fedupnurse
    Socrates Soul, you took the words right out of my mouth. I couldn't agree with you more! I love the families that are 10 deep in the room and one at a time they come to the desk to ask the same question as the previous person, NONE OF WHOM HAVE A RIGHT TO ANY INFORMATION!!!!!!!! I do think you were being a bit conservative on the 25% figure! Why do people think their relative is the only patient in the place???
  10. by   JonRN
    Good topic, one of the main reasons I got out of Dodge from the SICU was the families. At the VA, a lot of the pts were substance abusers whose family paid no attention to them for years, but when they became critically ill, they wanted everything possible done for them yesterday. All due to their feelings of guilt. I feel your pain Pamelita.

    Pappy
  11. by   SmilingBluEyes
    sleepyeyes, i wish all visitors could be so helpful and non intrusive. unfortunately, they are becoming the exception not the rule. were they all like you, i wouldnot complain at all.
  12. by   Orca
    The majority of visitors I have dealt with have been patient and friendly. Then, there are the others...

    In a rehab facility I once worked in, we had the mother of one of the staff physicians. The doctor took time away from his own patients to "oversee" what we were doing. He tried to call in a microsurgeon when his mother got a skin tear on her hand, and tried to call in a cardiologist over a minor blip in her EKG. He complained continually about the nursing care no matter who delivered it or how. It got so bad that the physician overseeing her case told him that he either stopped calling in specialists on his own or she would discharge his mother from the facility and the son could coordinate her care himself.

    On a gero=psychiatric unit, a patient's son had been complaining for at least half an hour about every aspect of the way the staff delivered care to his mother. He asked for the doctor's office number, which I gave to him (he had asked for the doctor's pager number, which I declined to give him). About five minutes later, the son handed me his cel phone. The doctor was on the other end, asking me about all the son's complaints, while the son stood there with a smug, satisfied look on his face.

    Then, there are those who want you to care for their loved ones, but on their terms. They want to dictate the course of treatment, including what medication they take, how much and how often. I found myself thinking many times, if they are that good at taking care of the patient, why did they bring him/her to the hospital?

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