VIDEO: A Message to Nurses Everywhere - page 4

Hello everyone, I have had a very challenging start to nursing. Since starting in Nursing in April 2015, I have been through a lot. I have seen great acts of kindness in nursing wherein nursing... Read More

  1. by   Emergent
    I viewed only the video posted here. It's painful to watch. I see someone who appears to be wallowing in self-pity. It's pathetic, actually. I see a woman who seems emotionally fragile and weak. That's my impression.

    I've found whenever I've indulged in cathartic exercises of a public nature, whether an emotional rant, telling someone off, getting angry, it always backfires. Occasional, genuine weeping over real grief or pain is the only exception, as long as it's a rarity. Since I'm normally fairly stoic, when I do cry people are always sympathetic.

    I don't see this type of video to be helpful or healthy to the OP.
  2. by   BSN16
    Quote from Emergent
    I viewed only the video posted here. It's painful to watch. I see someone who appears to be wallowing in self-pity. It's pathetic, actually. I see a woman who seems emotionally fragile and weak. That's my impression.

    I've found whenever I've indulged in cathartic exercises of a public nature, whether an emotional rant, telling someone off, getting angry, it always backfires. Occasional, genuine weeping over real grief or pain is the only exception, as long as it's a rarity. Since I'm normally fairly stoic, when I do cry people are always sympathetic.

    I don't see this type of video to be helpful or healthy to the OP.
    I agree. In my opinion who cares about this hospital??? This establishment obviously didn't value its employees, you should be thankful you no longer work in such a toxic environment. Don't obsess over this, because this type of behavior seems a bit unhealthy. You are still a licensed nurse, learn from your mistakes and move on.
  3. by   LetLoveNReasonUnite
    I agree my method was unconventional. Part of my motivation was making an emotional appeal. If I hadnt experienced continual heartache after heartache I wouldn't be so harsh on a PART of the profession. Every time I explained my story to someone, the response has been that I fell through the cracks. There are cracks in the system. My manager has a history of this and getting away with it. I agree that my videos alone are not going to accomplish much from alienating myself, thats why I am not stopping with them.

    I am advocating for nurses' rights... some nurses needs a nurses' rights activist.. there's only a couple in the world. i want a full switch from this transactional punitive form that I've been exposed to, to the transformational one where nurses are actually allowed to make mistakes, and fair actions are taken when they do make them.
  4. by   LetLoveNReasonUnite
    I have read every post everyone has said.. Perhaps I am speaking to the wrong audience. You are all here, eager to share and learn. You are not the perpetrators of the injustices, and it is frustrating to see them shoved in your face.. and I see your compassion in asking me to take the videos down.
  5. by   pixierose
    OP,

    Have you considered that someone from your previous employer will see this thread, notify management ... and your former employer may actually go after YOU?

    Like others have stated, I have found out all kinds of information about you after a quick web search ... including the public disciplinary statement mentioned. And I'm terrible at figuring out stuff like that, not particularly computer savvy. Now, if I was your former employer, and I came across this thread ... I may just consider legal advice.

    You wouldn't win.

    I have a lot of sympathy, OP. But after reading through these posts it's disappearing. I've been "bullied" at a previous employer -- they found out I had bipolar disorder and made steps to remove me, rather successfully I might add. This wasn't even in the field of health care. I hate thinking back to that time ... but I learned a lot from the experience and MOVED ON. I would never have dreamt of making a video series with my full name splashed all over it -- even though I was right to be upset and angry about the experience.

    There are truly effective ways to grieve ... and truly ineffective ones.

    What I'm gathering from these posts ... you were rightfully terminated. Your judgment is indeed poor. I'm not seeing personal accountability. You don't respond/implement feedback.

    I'm done here.
  6. by   Lil Nel
    First, I am very sorry about your experience. As a new nurse myself, I can understand how devastating these charges against you were/are for you mentally and emotionally. In order for you to be successful as a nurse, you must heal and get past this awful episode.

    But I am curious about a couple of things mentioned in your video. You were represented by a union. Were they no help with this situation? Could you not file a compliant with the union against the unit manager?

    Also, you stated you were on probation at the time of your termination. So that means at the time, you were under a preceptor? If so, any mistakes YOU made you also the mistakes of the preceptor. What happened to this person?

    I haven't Goggled you. But you did mention that you live in New Brunswick. I am imagining that the hospital that fired you is probably one of the larger employers in the area and can understand why you would want to be able to work there in the future. But is it possible for you to move another province? Time and distance may help with this situation.

    As for the posters telling you to remove the video from this site, I am sorry but I can't guide you on that topic. I believe the choice is yours. But I would listen with an open mind to these posters. Many of them have given you heart-felt advise. But your name, charges etc. are already part of the public domain as the result of a free and open press.

    It appears as though your new employer is much more supportive of you. I hope this is the case.

    Good luck to you. You are in my thoughts.
  7. by   LetLoveNReasonUnite
    Those are all assumptions... You are being very judgmental, and making many assumptions about me because I am doing something you do not agree with (the videos). Your words "you were rightfully terminated" are HATEFUL, just because I am not willing to take down the videos. I am done talking to you, you have no idea why I was terminated and are so quick to make that judgment of me. I realize I am being a **** disturber... But the fact of the matter is, there is **** to disturb.
  8. by   LetLoveNReasonUnite
    I have not read too much about bullying in the medical profession, but it makes sense when someone is involved in a high stress medical field, and they are just learning, that their can be an element of bullying there too. I have not been looking at it from that lens unfortunately, but it sounds worthy of research.

    I do find it interesting that it seems across the disciplines, nurses punish their own much more harshly then, say, doctors or dentists. I'm compiling statistics across the country.. do not have the final numbers but the trend is that there are much, much, more punitive decisions in nursing than in either medicine or dentistry. I am speaking only for Canada, so I do not know what the picture is in the states or in other areas of the world.

    And right on! Awesome to meet another whimsical person
  9. by   LetLoveNReasonUnite
    "First, I am very sorry about your experience. As a new nurse myself, I can understand how devastating these charges against you were/are for you mentally and emotionally. In order for you to be successful as a nurse, you must heal and get past this awful episode."

    I agree that I must heal.. I wish the system was such that I could have had justice the conventional way. I realize that my actions are outrageous to some.

    "But I am curious about a couple of things mentioned in your video. You were represented by a union. Were they no help with this situation? Could you not file a compliant with the union against the unit manager?"

    The union was great insofar as my lawyer represented me with the complaint. I did not have a leg to stand on to fight the complaint. I should not have been put in the position in the first place. I could have filed a complaint with the unit manager but after talking to several people I realized that she is not the only problem, she's just a part of it. And my filing a complaint against specifically her would be just spiteful.. and eye for an eye, so to speak.. I do not wish to defame her. I am sure she was under a lot of stress herself and that's why she rushed to judgment about me.

    "Also, you stated you were on probation at the time of your termination. So that means at the time, you were under a preceptor? If so, any mistakes YOU made you also the mistakes of the preceptor. What happened to this person?"

    I was on probation at the hospital, yes. I had orientation for a set number of weeks and then I was on my own for several months. I had not been able to check in with the nurse manager for several months (I had called her, attempted contact... she never returned my calls). The nurse manager hadn't spoken to me in any depth for 5 months... and was actually no longer in her post as NM when she fired me. She just so happened to have the role for the majority of my employment so it was her responsibility to facilitate a followup meeting when I made a few medication errors (which I regret a lot) and the charge nurse said several defamatory things about me. No one else, I think, suffered any consequences

    "I haven't Goggled you. But you did mention that you live in New Brunswick. I am imagining that the hospital that fired you is probably one of the larger employers in the area and can understand why you would want to be able to work there in the future. But is it possible for you to move another province? Time and distance may help with this situation."

    That is certainly possible.. I am just worried about going through this same crap when I am the low person on the totem pole. I feel like the current system allows certain people to act with impunity and others to be very harshly punished.

    "As for the posters telling you to remove the video from this site, I am sorry but I can't guide you on that topic. I believe the choice is yours. But I would listen with an open mind to these posters. Many of them have given you heart-felt advise. But your name, charges etc. are already part of the public domain as the result of a free and open press."

    I realize that they are saying that with good hearts... I see why they are saying that, and they are all very logical reasons..

    "It appears as though your new employer is much more supportive of you. I hope this is the case."

    They are! I hope you are working in a similar environment. We deserve to work in the caring, human environments we envisioned when we started our nursing education. My feeling is that most of the respondents have been lucky enough to grow in such an environment. One point I would like to make is that if I was not working where I am now (and have been for a year and a half), my license may have been suspended, with the crap that the hospital put forth about me. I could have very easily have suffered much, much worse. But that would not have made their accusations any more valid. I am sure there are others who have been wrongfully accused that had no other place of employment, so they had their license suspended for doing nothing worse then I did. How is that fair?

    "Good luck to you. You are in my thoughts."

    Thank you, same to you.
  10. by   roser13
    Quote from LetLoveNReasonUnite

    I am advocating for nurses' rights... some nurses needs a nurses' rights activist.. there's only a couple in the world. i want a full switch from this transactional punitive form that I've been exposed to, to the transformational one where nurses are actually allowed to make mistakes, and fair actions are taken when they do make them.
    You likely have set back the cause for nurses' rights. Emotionally-laden, dramatic plays for attention on social media are not an effective method of advocacy for a profession.
  11. by   SnowShoeRN
    Quote from LetLoveNReasonUnite
    ... She just so happened to have the role for the majority of my employment so it was her responsibility to facilitate a followup meeting when I made a few medication errors (which I regret a lot) and the charge nurse said several defamatory things about me. No one else, I think, suffered any consequences...
    Wait wait wait wait wait....A FEW medication errors? How many is a few? More than 2? More than 5? What were the errors?

    We all make mistakes, but over the course of my CAREER I've made a total of 3 medication errors. And I remember every single one.

    I don't know about Canada, but in many places in the US, ONE error is grounds for dismissal. We have people's lives in our hands. This issue is not whether anyone actually "suffered the consequences". The point is that someone COULD have.

    Sometimes it's more important that a hospital protect its patients from someone who has a track record of making mistakes (no matter how kind, competent or smart the person is) than it is for for a hospital to make sure that its nurses always feel supported and cared for.

    I'm glad you regret your medication errors.

    Obviously I don't know the full story, but can you step back see where the hospital was coming from? JUST knowing that you made "a few" errors?

    On an unrelated point, clicking on the "quote" button in someone's posting box allows you to quote that person when you want to post a response. It lets us know exactly who you're directing you responses to. Otherwise, we don't know who you're addressing.
  12. by   Emergent
    On reading this entire thread and watching the entire video posted here, I get the feeling that you don't have a very accurate self-awareness meter.

    You've gotten a lot of good, and compassionate feedback. I'm wondering how you behaved when getting feedback at the job you lost? What caused a few med errors to be reported to your board of nursing? Could it have been your lack of receptivity?

    It's never a good idea to be defensive when dealing with management. I've gotten into a few scrapes over the course of my career, always over difficulties with coworkers. If you get called on the carpet, you must be humble! No matter how unjust it seems to you, you must be respectful and at least pretend to listen and eager to learn and improve.

    Don't expect the world to be fair, my mother used to tell me.
  13. by   pixierose
    Quote from LetLoveNReasonUnite
    Those are all assumptions... You are being very judgmental, and making many assumptions about me because I am doing something you do not agree with (the videos). Your words "you were rightfully terminated" are HATEFUL, just because I am not willing to take down the videos. I am done talking to you, you have no idea why I was terminated and are so quick to make that judgment of me. I realize I am being a **** disturber... But the fact of the matter is, there is **** to disturb.
    Oh good grief.

    What I was stating wasn't "hateful." It was (and is) a perception -- you truly don't comprehend the actions you have taken when starting (and continuing) this thread. If your behavior at your former place of employment is *anything* like your behavior within this thread, I can see where there may have been issues with your job performance.

    You don't get it. People, myself included, are (were) concerned about your well being. You have received great advice on this thread. None of us here have a personal vested interest in you, yet here we all are, trying to get you to see that these videos will be problematic. Not for your former employer, not for the future of nursing and it's culture; YOU.

    You seem to be on the train to self-destruction, regardless.

    Much luck to you. You will absolutely need it.

close