Unusual Names for Medical Diagnoses

[flashpoint]

I am doing a speech on making the most of a visit to a doctor. I want to emphasize the importance of knowing the proper name for diagnoses. I need some help coming up with unusual, weird, cultural, or just plain improper names for diagnoses...things like "piles" instead of hemorrhoids, "high blood" instead of high blood pressure, or "the sugar" instead of diabetes. I've searched the Internet and am just not finding what I am looking for.

Can anyone help me out? I am not asking people to do my homework for me...LOL...I have been a nurse for a long time...just furthering my education. ?

Thanks!

[Calabria, BSN, RN]

I'm personally dealing with some anal glaucoma right now.

I.e., I can't see my ass going into work tonight.

[Christy1019, ASN, RN]

I'm personally dealing with some anal glaucoma right now.

I.e., I can't see my ass going into work tonight.

Lmao!!!

[2BRNagain]

My favorite: fireballs of the Eucharist = fibroids in the uterus.

[BklynEMT]

One of my all time favorites is "I be taken peanut butter balls..." It took a while to figure out they were talking about phenobarbital. 

[lamazeteacher]

I got to the third page of this thread without seeing

PROSTRATE for prostate.

Most men & women of my generation pronounced the organ that way, possibly because any damage to a sexually necessary organ would render them prostrate.....

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

falling out...fainting

physic...laxative

dropsy....CHF

fits...siezure

sugar...diabetes

Grip, Gripe or Grippe......flu

[CountyRat]

I once heard a CPR trainer (who was NOT a nurse, I hastily add) define three classes of heart disease as follows:

"Angina" (he even got the pronunciation right. It is the last thing that he got right.)

"A fit" which he defined vaguely as what I think referred to a myocardial infarction; and, last but by no means least;

"Siezure" by which he apparently meant cardiac arrest.

The next time I needed to recertify, I took a CPR class sponsored by a different group.

Oh, and the other gaff that I have sometimes heard is a mispronunciation of the word angina that refers to a structure in a completely different organ system than the cardiovascular. I have also heard a woman refer to her "menstruater," which, in the context of the discussion, referred to her uterus. At least that one makes sense.

[CountyRat]

Another comes to mind: “it takes my nature,” meaning that the patient was prescribed a beta blocker, but it impaired his sexual performance, so he stopped taking it. I have most frequently heard this from patients whose blood pressure is consistently “Patent Pending” over “Get the crash cart!"

[Hancock330]

Let's see -- "the sugar" = diabetes; "high blood" = hypertension; "high herney" = hiatal hernia; "tubalization" = tubal ligation; "mighty fart" = myocardial infarction. Then there are the names for body parts and normal body functions (including euphemisms). When I was a teenager and babysitting I once nearly caused a minor disaster fora pre-schooler who kept saying he needed to "go grunts" -- I finally realized he needed to go to the bathroom, but have never understood why his mother didn't tell me what terminology their family used prior to leaving me to take care of the child. I finally learned to tell members of my family to have their doctors and nurses write down the names of their diagnoses/conditions/medications/treatments so they could spell them for me when asking me questions about them. Playing 20 questions to figure out what actual diagnostic name sounds like whatever the patient heard is frustrating and, I'm sure, sometimes dangerous.

I second the suggestion of a previous poster or two regarding cultural differences; also there are some regional variations in terminology. In my husband's family I "learned" all kinds of medical "facts" that were never in any text book or journal article I read. For instance, having an "asthma dog" to take your asthma attacks away from you can save your life. Or, if a person with the right gift takes you into the woods to the exact right kind of plant and stands with the plant between you and the person with the gift, then recites the correct Bible verses, they can cure you of all kinds of ailments. I think a lot of these beliefs are declining with improved mass media information being available -- but they are being replaced by urban myths of perhaps a more pernicious nature. Regardless, assessing for what people "know" prior to planning any education if important -- because if what you're going to teach runs counter to what they "know" they may not believe you -- to their detriment. If you understand their beliefs before you teach you can better structure your teaching to either correct misinformation or to "work around" their beliefs to help them find the way to better health.

[Sunflowerinsc, ADN, RN]

High blood is hypertension in my neck of the woods also.

[Cackalacky]

"skin and bone"= very thin

I don't know if that counts really.

[amoLucia]

'shooting blanks' = no sperm count for guys AFTER vasectomy